Navigating Life's Challenges: My Journey and Reflections.

آمین ثمہ آمین
جی بہتر
ماشاءاللہ
انشاءاللہ ​

 

A night in the Hospital with my mother as an attendant.
How to sleep on this chair it does not stays at a point. It's wheels are...what to say...
Avoiding overthinking after watching doctors here - a profession I wished to pursue, was very difficult until I talked to my friend about it. Salute to the person who's mother made him to make the treatment possible for everyone else including my mother.
Ahh...family gathered at a point after a difficult time.
3 AM Thu, 28 March
I shall Rise.

 

What to say, but that one must be powerful and energetic in terms of everything. Struggle is inevitable, and that fact persists even if one pretends to ignore it. One person fails to accomplish something worthwhile in his life. Rather, I think one must work on accepting the truth, preparing himself or herself to put struggle and effort out of hard times and responsibilities. Answers to big problems lie in basics. I believe that we fail out of our basic mistakes, i.e., belief in ourselves, avoiding overthinking, self-doubt, proper diet, and sleep.

I learned one thing out of different experiences: that life is all about neglecting the secondary and prioritizing something more important. And then this is all about life. We do other important things, but the point is to limit them and focus on what is most important, firstly acknowledging a very important fact side by side: that our brain can do one task at a time. So the moment we divert our focus and put it on more important worths, in between, it's all on us to do self-talk and persuade oneself for something, motivation from inside, and learning from other people; all lie in the journey. Easier said than done. So something more is crucial to make it happen, and it is 'Resolve' عزم. Han ye mushkil lagta hai mgr it's a truth worth accepting. Batein kr kr k thak gya hon mgr practical krte hoe mot prti hai...

Willpower is something we were already informed with in terms of صبر patience, and then mental peace and focus by 'practice' in terms of نماز prayer. May we make it happen. Smile and stay strong.

May my mother recover soon. May she get stronger. A house without her is like...silence where words are needed. And I see the whole scenario as a void from my side that I must put more work into staying more punctual and informed about what my parents need. Also, I must support them financially as well because finance is a very major thing for actually playing our niche anywhere where needed. And I don't know where it all may end. What my journey is all about and how much I'll change myself, which is a must. She is having blood tests, scans, radiation, and again chemotherapy. May Allah grant her strength to withstand all that pain. My younger brother is there with her. I had to come back for job issues as my work is crucial to complete the procedure there. It's a part-time job, and Allah granted me the best one as it teaches me as well. Though they keep on giving me more and more responsibilities and tasks, but yes, that is worth learning some management and doing practicals out there.

And study, I don't want to make things worse here, so I will try to have my hands on assignments and what is called a presentation (my favorite activity). I just prepared one topic in the previous semester that was allotted to me for presentation. I do laugh on it as I also scored the highest in that minor code subject.

Aaaaaaaaaa...study!!!!

I shall Rise. I shall try. I must not leave this way...I must put my efforts and strength. May Allah help all of us in all reregards.
Prayers needed.

فی امان اللہ

During my this visit with my mother especially in the month of Ramadan as it has happened once before, I learned a very strong, obvious and compulsory to learn lesson and that is, lowering Gaze (as mentioned in Quran), that it's not just a physical act or applied discipline; rather, it is a psychological activity to unbridge any further interpretation regarding opposite gender and just put meaningful interpretation when needed. Don't know if conveyed precisely. Thats is Lowering Gaze honestly.

 

Aging
Though answer to most of our concerns lies in getting practical and worker but here is what i imagine and consider acknowledging as well:
Time is not about 20s 30s and teens it is firstly about physiological processes and basics(studies, manners and training) and then it is all about experiences who's price is time itself being spent by us Or lived by us (depends upon mindset).
So when I feel burden about gettng older and feeling of not being able to have our past again, our younger self again, I do consider other things as well and that includes,

1. Act of not repeating the mistakes. As this is what a kid or a teenager don't know that spending time thinking about e.g. what others think about our looks, doesn't matter after a certain regard.
2. Maturity is a measure of how much time we have passed (age). You know world says this is teenage life, this is 20s, it actually reflects maturity level and an extent of how much a person is capable in the society. How much affective he or she can be. No one becomes outdated in any regard unless they decide or accept it.
3. Who care?
4. Take care of your elders as they are going far from us as the time is passing by.
5. Progress.

 

کیا کوئی راستہ ہے جہاں ہم راہ اختیار کر سکیں۔ کیا کوئی ایسا لفظ ہے جو دل کی تسلی بن سکے۔ کیا بے چینی کا کوئی مقصد ہے کہ سمجھ سے ورا ہے۔
لوگوں میں رہ کر، دنیا کی ان ثقافتوں میں جہاں خاندان اکھٹے رہتے ہیں باوجود اس کہ اکیلا پن اور بے یار و مددگار سی حالت کیسے؟ آخر کچھ جدوجہد کی بلکہ بہت کی تھی اور جاری بھی ہے مگر کہیں ہم لاپرواہ تھے ضرورت سے ذیادہ؟ کچھ تو مجھ سے بھی ذیادہ لاپرواہ تھے کچھ خاصہ پریشان نظر نہیں آتے وہ۔۔۔ماجرا کیا ہے۔۔۔
دل ناامید تو نہیں ناکام ہی تو ہے
لمبی ہے غم کی شام مگر شام ہی تو ہے

یہ شام کافی عجیب مشکل میں ڈال دیتی ہے۔۔۔اس نے رلایا، پریشان رکھا، ذہنی اذیت دی، ستایا۔۔۔
کمزور کیا اور ناکام کہیں توقعات سے۔
۔۔۔۔۔
لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا أَنْتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنْتُ مِنَ الظَّالِمِينَ
تیرے سوا کوئی معبود برحق نہیں ، تو پاک ہے بے شک میں ظلم کرنے والوں میں سے تھا۔
ﷺ
يَارَبِّ بِالْمُصْطَفَى بَلْغَ مَقَاصِدَنَا
وَاغْفِرْلَنَا مَا مَضَى يَا وَاسِعَ الْكَرَمِ

هُوَ الحَبِيبُ الَّذِي تُرجى شَفَاعَتُه
لِكُلِّ هَولِ مِّنَ الأَهْوَالِ مُقْتَحِمٍ

مُحَمَّدٌ سَيْدُ الْكَوْنَينِ وَ الثَّقَلَيْنِ
وَ الْفَرِيقَيْنِ مِنْ عُرْبٍ وَ مِنْ عَجَمٍ

ثُمَّ الرَّضَا عَنْ أَبِي بَكْرٍ وَ عَنْ عُمَرَ
وَ عَنْ عَلِيَّ وَ عَنْ عُثْمَانَ ذِي الْكَرَمِ
ﷺ
!کیا خوب پڑھتا ہوں یہ قصیدہ
میں سو جاؤ یا مصطفٰی کہتے کہتے
کھلے آنکھ صلے علی کہتے کہتے ﷺ
چلیے دیکھتے ہیں کہاں تک یہ سفر مقدر سے لے جاتا ہے۔
​

 

Persistent pain of heart.

I don't know what im living and what I'm breathing. Fear, anxiety, depression, doubt and ambiguity about what would happen. It is far beyond NoFap challenge...it is about my mother's life. Suddenly such a big bad news made us stunned. She is not informed about the matter but me, my father and younger brother do. It feels like what would happen...either If I'll see her in pain or more pain or what ... Regret is also distressing my heart as I witnessed similar symptoms in her but we went late for the checkup...Ahh...Ahh.. this is life...
My mother still don't know about her disease but I do...I behave normal around her and more obedient than usual but she thinks she has a minor issue. Thankfully she is still normally eating and behaving weak at mobility.
I'm lonely fighting myself trying to adjust my patience with emotions and stress of it but yes it all upto Allah. May my mother live long. Get cured!
No idea what would happen just a hope.
May doctors say something good and miraculous after 11 of this month...I tell u my mother don't like number 11 but doesn't matter, just bothered me.
Dua...prayers needed alot.
I rely on Allah...whatever Allah will choose for me we'll do nothing but stay obedient, patient and firm. May He grant us to act accordingly.
آمین۔
دعاؤں میں یاد رکھیے گا۔

 

Despite encountering pitfalls, facing sad and difficult realities, and enduring adversities in life, I also reflected upon the term "رزق" (Rizq).

(رزق)​

"According to Arabic dictionaries, the term "Rizq" refers to sustenance روزی, livelihood, or provision فراہمی. It encompasses everything that one receives or earns to sustain themselves, including food, wealth, opportunities, and blessings. Additionally, "Rizq" is often understood in a broader sense to include spiritual and emotional sustenance as well."

So, amidst life's hard-to-accept realities and tough times, the virtues of patience, reliance on God, and striving to be our best selves hold significance, potentially influencing outcomes. Whether faced with failures, very bad days, or minimal progress, I recognize it as predestined, written for me by the ultimate entity, جل جلالہ. In such moments, learning from mistakes, expressing gratitude for blessings and successes, and trusting that Allah will provide more opportunities in the days ahead become paramount. It's a cycle of perseverance—starting anew each day from where we left off yesterday.

I recall a moment with my mother, her swollen feet a testament to life's trials. Yet, her unwavering trust in Allah's ability to heal impressed and comforted me.

In the midst of adversity and the presence of negativity within, blessings and hope persist—but only for those willing to rise, even in the darkness of uncertainty.

I think if hardship surrounds us from all directions and evil lurks within our veins even then blessings and hope also stays around but for those who dare to stand up and move, even if it's dark for the time bieng.
....
May be the last night of Ramadan. May we all get blessing of this night.

نُوری محفل پہ چادر تنی نُور کی
نُور پھیلا ہوا آج کی رات ہے

چاندنی میں ہیں ڈُوبے ہوئے دوجہاں
کون جلوہ نُما آج کی رات ہے

عَرش پر دُھوم ہے فرش پر دُھوم ہے،
ہے وہ بَدبخت جو آج محروم ہے

پھر یہ آئے گی شب کِس کو معلوم ہے
ہم پہ لُطفِ خُدا آج کی رات ہے

مومنو آج گنجِ سخا لُوٹ لو ،
لُوٹ لو اَے مریضو شِفا لُوٹ لو

عاصیو رحمتِ مصطفےٰ ﷺ لُوٹ لو ،
بابِ رحمت کُھلا آج کی رات ہے

اَبرِ رحمت ہیں محفل پہ چھائے ہوئے
آسماں سے ملائک ہیں آئے ہوئے

خود محمد ﷺ ہیں تشریف لائے ہوے
کِس قدر جانفزا آج کی رات ہے

مانگ لو مانگ لو چشمِ تر مانگ لو ،
دَردِ دِل اور حُسنِ نظر مانگ لو

کملی والے کی نگری میں گھر مانگ لو ﷺ
مانگنے کا مزا آج کی رات ہے

ِاِس طرف نُور ہے اُس طرف نور ہے
سارا عالم مسرّت سے معمور ہے

جس کو دیکھو وہی آج مُسرور ہے
مَہک اُٹھی فضا آج کی رات ہے

وقت لائے خُدا سب مدینے چلیں
لُوٹنے رحمتوں کے خزینے چلیں

سب کے منزل کی جانب سفینے چلیں
میری صاؔئم دُعا آج کی رات ہے​

We rise no matter what, with the blessings of Almighty Allah.

 

عید مبارک
"Eid ul Fitr Mubarak to all readers of my post. You made me feel surrounded and listened to, and believe me, this is what everyone wants in their life out of relatives and friends. Moreover, we are here for something that crucially demands such humble and respected help and support."​

Especially,
@InnerMan, @tawwab1 @FallingPetals, @Risingstar98, [@urboi (who don't care)], ammar and other brothers and sisters as well. Live long.

May we all get over our weaknesses and play such an enlightened role that help ourselves and the whole society out there as well.
And...may my mother survive this disease with the prayers of my brothers and sisters. آمین

جزاک اللہ خیر
پاکستان زندہ باد​

 

آمین۔

 

KHAIR MUBARAK.

آمین۔
انشاءاللہ ​

 

Blessed Eid to you as well
Live long.
May you Empower yourself through every challenge.
آمین

 

"I have a dream."
- Martin Luther King Jr.

____________
​

20th April to 20 May.

-Exercise.
-A study session.
-If not feeling like anything else then reading Atomic Habits (just randomly selected it).
-Sleep on time and for God, not taking coffee before bed.
-Quran reading Challenge.
-Going to Job on time, learning skill there.
.................
IDEOLOGY:
If you can't make progress before a vision, it will be difficult after having one. (YouTube)
Discipline is a word with a meaning.
I dont wanna be: I would've done more. (QUOTE by an athlete)
.............
Gut feelings to welcome:
Everything will be alright.
Don't be a perfectionist.
.............
Good attributes:
Be a doer.
..............
Emotions Homo sapien :
I have a dream.
.............
Reason and نیت :
يا إلهي
...........
...........

 

19/April/2024
Study : Considered it a responsibility, for the first time -may be, read it without stress and considered book as a source of knowledge rather than marks and division.

Exercise : Nope.
QURAN: 1 Ruk'u
Slept on time and woke up on time : For the first time realized what does sleeping on time means and how to cultivate it.
Key : Don't fall asleep while the whole day except at Noon after Zuhr...considering staying awake before it's 10 PM is a good thing. Meanwhile its not an agenda to drag oneself hard for any goal, instead just focusing on Five prayers and a our daily goals along with other activities is enough.
..............
Reality of Study and work is not to follow and copy society blindly (ignoring how we want to do it). We should also introduce our own way of doing tasks as well, confidently and introspectively.

 

The report contains work details dated 20 April, outlining the tasks completed on that specific day.
.......
Exercise: Done
Study: Took the Mid term...solved half of it...came back home...Read the questions I didn't know the answers of...and...bs
Quran : Yes
Sleep : Slept on time and woke up before Fajar. Went to the Masjid.
........
Skills : Watched very less.
.......
Questions and confusions: Why the hell I hesitate to Accountability.
Why the text doesn't sounds like it's me.
.......

Good words : مر جانا ہے ایک دن بھائی اتنی فکر کرنے کی ضرورت نہیں کہ کیا ہوگا، کیسے ہوگا، نہیں ہو رہا، اگر، مگر، پیپر، سی جی پی، وغیرہ!۔​

۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔

He is quick, thinking in clear images;
I am slow, thinking in broken images.

He becomes dull, trusting to his clear images;
I become sharp, mistrusting my broken images.

Trusting his images, he assumes their relevance;
Mistrusting my images, I question their relevance.

Assuming their relevance, he assumes the fact;
Questioning their relevance, I question the fact.

When the fact fails him, he questions his senses;
When the fact fails me, I approve my senses.

He continues quick and dull in his clear images;
I continue slow and sharp in my broken images.

He in a new confusion of his understanding;
I in a new understanding of my confusion.
-Robert Graves.
........
Intermediate
I don't know why, but thinking about my past makes me very sad.

 

21-April check in :
Woke up: On Time. 5AM
Slept : On time. 10 PM
Study : oohoo... couldn't get time for it. How difficult it is to open a book. BTW

(Solution: i haven't any...)​

Exercise : Done, exercise feels like I've forgotten all my stress and yes all the fears and doubts. Very helpful activity.

Quran : Yes
Skill: 92nd day streak on Duolingo.

............

"Make a good relationship with your ownself"​

There is a psychological behavior where everyone expects the best from others and an optimum behavior. Similarly, we hold high expectations for ourselves as well. When we don't meet those expectations, various responses emerge: self-judgment and a belief that we could have performed better. Feelings of stress and anxiety towards our scores and achievements also fall under this umbrella. Rather than solely blaming ourselves, we should cultivate a bond with our emotional selves. We should say to ourselves : Alright, If I want to use social media even though I am to study or work, I'll use it but just to make my self amused and happy and I may watch some goal oriented and useful content side by side to help myself return back to the work and 'study mindset' -rather than just blaming oneself. So, what we can name this, self help, self talk, navigating self version of study or myself or "make it easy instead" or Emotional intelligence (This is a whole term on which debate exists).

We often label ourselves as procrastinators, overlooking the fact that we can excel in academics and work. Maybe our desire for free time has a purpose. Thus, we can shift our comfort zone through a loop of self-talk, reorienting ourselves towards work by viewing activities as part of the journey, rather than just a waste of time and a negative score.

Regards : Servant of Allah.

Keep me in your prayers​

_____________________​

Should I study psychology as my major?

 

22-April-2024
........
Exerxise : negative.
Study : Done sparingly.
Quran : Positive. Parah # 12
Wake up-sleep routine : Good.
Slept at noon.
.............
23-April-2024
Study : Read one chapter's important questions. ( Time allocated : [6 : 45 to 7 : 00] ) : Denied. (At the time of any work, one's body language, decision and surroundings determine that either the plan or appropriate action can be executed or not; maintaining one self there matters).
Exerxise : Positive.
Wake-up-Sleep schedule : Good.
Quran: Positive.
Feelings : Slept watching the Moon, in the moon light. Got motivated by our professor who said go with full fledged preparation for my subject in the exam, though I don't know how that would be achieved but I respect their words.
.............
24-April-2024
Read 1.5 Chapter's important Questions.
Time allocated : [6 : 45 to 7 : 00] ) Half Chapter done. (Took more time less study, and I drink more water when study.)

Exerxise : Positive.
SLEEP-WAKE UP schedule : Positive.
Quran : Parah 13 [ 19/19 + Ruk'u ]
.............
25-April-2024
Read 2 Chapter's important question.
Time allocated : [6 : 45 to 7 : 00] ) Positive. Need a free time.

Quran : Parah 14 [ 22/22 Ruk'u ].
Sleep-Wake Up schedule : Good.

........