Question for the boys:

He could have some kind of anxiety.
Maybe his challenge/goal was simply to ask a girl (you) out.

On a personality view
Maybe he doesn't like taking initiative.
Or maybe he's apprehensive of what to say, or even doesn't want to feel like he's infringing your space (digitally).

There's many variables.
I don't think there's a straight cut answer I'm afraid.

 

@Notmandy, I'm not sure if you're just looking for male opinions here, but you never know, he could be a "herbivore" male who has a PMO problem! Seriously. Maybe he's rather go home and jerk off then deal with the actual stresses of having to pull a woman IRL.
In any of my relationships, I do the controlling. I never liked guys that were assertive. In fact, I've never been kissed. Deadly serious. Any time I've been kissed it was because I'd initiated it. Of course this is all part of my PMO problem....
So many men are just herbivores these days (I'm not referring to vegans either). I mean sexual vegans. PMO is such an easy option, that's why it's taken, and that's why we're all here today... If your profile picture is of yourself you have the most lovely skin! Got any tips? Looks like that nice Californian sun. I've become so pale living in the UK!

 

No PMO and NoFap I actually am so focused on improving myself and areas of my life..chasing my goals etc that I don't bother chasing or making an effort taking the lead. I want the girl to be chasing me and prove she is worthy of me now. Perhaps he prefers the female taking the lead and doing the chasing because of this and the fact chaser is always at a disadvantage. The one getting chased always feels in charge in a relationship.

Of course it's plausible he can't be bothered. Wasn't into her. Would rather fap. So many variables and possibilities.

 

Maybe he ghosted ya!
Lame
but sometimes it's for the best.

 

This is one of those questions that has so many possibly answers and not nearly enough data given to properly judge which one is more likely in this situation. All tho generally speaking when guys do this there are two main reasons why:
1. they lack the guts to follow through and move forward
2. they are a player type who approach many women and have found someone better to spend time with

 

Yeah that's what it sounds like to me. Sounds like he was scared of confrontation. Worst case scenario he should've just sent out a text.

And it's sad that as a culture we don't just say these things anymore.. we'd rather just disappear or run.

In the wise words of Maya Angelou, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time"

 

To answer the OP, I've been in the position where I'm kind of interested in a girl and she's kind of interested in me, so we both respond and get to the point of a couple of dates-that-technically-weren't-dates, and then things ended awkwardly with the "I'll call you back" promise from her, and neither of us interested in any future relationship. Sounds like the two of you may be in the same type of situation. It's also possible that he picked up on the fact that you're not that into him, so he decided to ghost out.
It's still pretty lame of him to just disappear without a trace.

 

So I know the thread got a little off track.....

But here are some thoughts.....

First...the only way you have made any mistake in this is 'overthinking it'. I had to learn when I made friends not to push to much, or sit in passive obsession about what I did wrong if they didn't connect with me. Connecting with people means you have to try, and learning how to try is good practice. In short, I have to say to myself all the time, it will or won't work, and as long as I tried, I have no reason to worry or overthink this. Put to a point, I mean that you should not worry, and you shouldn't think about him. You tried, and he tried 'somewhat'. What happens after that just 'is'. It's not on you, and not on him. It in no way reflects your worth, or what you did or didn't do. Who you were in that moment, is who you are, don't seek to change it. Healthy relationships should just 'happen'. You take a step, they take a step. It's just a natural dance that happens, without you trying to force it. All my best friends happened that way. (And my GF, which I know which is what you were asking about).

Finally, all the he needs to take the initiative, or you need to take the initiative discussion is crap. If you are curious about the guy, and feel comfortable in asking, then hit him up. If not, let it go. It's about who you are. You don't have to passively wait because you are a girl. He isn't a failure as a man if he doesn't initiate. Don't feel like your forced into a role by arbitrary rules. Either you feel comfortable and want to initiate, or you don't (and won't). Either way, you are just being you, and in dating that is important to show the real you, and feel comfortable with owning who you are.

Again, put to the point, the only way to win this game is not to play. Don't let rules hold you up, and don't let the fact that he hasn't called set your worth, or bother you any further. Take control if you want, or like to. Or don't. Again, it's not a game, and you aren't playing. More than that, just feel comfortable that what happens happens, without you needing to explain or understand it.

PS: I know all of that is counter intuitive, and reading this, I think I have maybe a chance of coming off harsh. That isn't my intent. You are a valuable human being. You have worth, which was given to you by being born. Life just doesn't afford us the ability to honestly know why anyone truly does or doesn't do something, and defiantly not when it comes to potential dating partners. I hope that you will have peace in finding that the answer is not to seek an answer.

 

As I have been involved with several incidents in this thread, I am posting notice that I have deleted many comments that were off-topic. Your comments may have not been involved in said incidents, but because they were related to the incidents I pruned them for the sake of the OP's thread remaining on-point.

Please, show the OP some respect and talk about the things @Notmandy created the thread to discuss.

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The continuation of the above behaviour here may result in the immediate deletion of posts, warning points being added to your account or other disciplinary measures at the discretion of the moderation team.