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why I fail is that I got so far before! Not my success directly but what it did to me. It made me optimistic, strong and it made me consider seeking out love/sex for the first time in a long time. I did give in into my long time suppressed needs of love - especially my feelings for a good friend of mine and there even may be sth. there.
Since my relapse (and the stress level in my life increased a lot) I find it now hard to re-supress my needs and the feelings for her I let emerge bc I thought I was on the highway ro cure myself. Now those feelings pull me down. I want to wait at least 30 days until I see her again. I don't want her to see the mess I am atm yet I crave (her) female company since I tasted it again after such a long time
and it still is such a long time until I'll allow myself to pursue her again. And all these feelings just pull me down and weaken me but that's no excuse! I shall now use my prefrontal cortex to constantly remind myself of the following: Yes, it sucks but resetting now is only push my goal back another day!!! Hands out for Harambe. Bye
(Yeah I know it's so obvious that resetting will just make things worse but really convincing yourself and controlling yourself is very, very hard sometimes)
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