Why are my reasons not good enough?

Here's my reasons:


Triggers

Pictures

Touching

Dating Sites

Soft cloth

Lewd talk

Loneliness

Sadness

Medicine changes

Tiredness

Girls


Why do it?

Tired all the time

Tired in morning

Want to be able to say I have self control over something

Want a real girlfriend

Want to become more social

Force myself to do something I don’t want to do or that I feel uncomfortable with so that I can say that I have control.

Because next I want to work on food and workout changes, if you cannot complete step 1, how can you complete step 2 and three?



So for some reason, I listed these, yet I still relapsed. I was on a 33 day streak, and now I keep flip flopping one day I'm okay, next day I do it, day after I don't ... etc

It's really as if I don't actually want to change. But I do. What's wrong with me? I was doing so good before.

I'm thinking about what it was when I was making the mistake... I was thinking to myself "I like this" and at the moment I genuinely do. However, tomorrow morning I guarantee I'm going to be tired as shit and regret the mistake.

 

I want my energy back, I had so much power, energy and focus.

 

Failed, I hate being tired as shit in the morning on my way to work.

 

Lately I've just not wanted to do anything. I'm okay with just letting myself slip and do nothing in a brainless job and not achieving my dreams. PMOing, and just feeling comfortable and pleasurable all the time. I don't like this.