First 30 days of NoFap in my entire life.

Hi. I'm Peaceful Warrior and this is, finally, my success story.
It feels amazing to type these first letters of story of the biggest battle of my life.
I don't only mean those 30 days that passed, in which I suceeded. I mean past 2 or 3 years when I struggled so much. I think I'm a textbook example of a person who can say "If I could do that, surely you can too".

I'm 21. I first learned about NoFap when I was about 18. At first I was very sceptical. I thought I didn't have a problem and so on.. Until one evening, when I was 19, I found out I had PIED. Even though that was, obviously, shocking for a guy my age, still, it took me 2 more years to finally reach 30 days of NoFap. I know that's sad. I've been trying on/off, though. I had moments of really good progress. Some months very just wasted time. I had countless streaks of 4 days, 7 days, some streaks of 11/12 days and only one streak of 19 which was my best until now. Today is actually my 31st day. I went hardmode. No PMO, no edging, no psubs, no nothing. 100% clean. I didn't even peak once.

How was I feeling during the journey?

Firstly, I used to think that 30 days is shitload of days, now I realized that's just a beginning, really. First week was quite good and easy. Then it got a lot worse, a lot of depression, stress, tension. I had a wet dream at day 11. It was 100% unconscious dream, I was having s with a girl I know,then I just woke up and that was it. That was first sign that I was actually healing, my brain started to rewire. The next 2 weeks was a nightmare. No purpose, depression, sadness, emptiness, I mean, really, the mood swings were just ridiculous. Of course I had moments of "inner peace, happiness, motvation" but most of the time I felt like shit. But as the day were passing, the mood swings started to become shorter and I started to feel a lot better at day 26/27. Now is day 31. I feel pretty stable, both emotionally and physically. I can honestly say that the stuff about looks is 100% true. My skin has never looked better before. It's like I don't know, It's shiny but it positive way. My hair is amazingly soft. I used to have so oily hair. I know that sounds like fairytale but really the change is so visible. I'm so eager to improve myself. My social anxiety has reduced so much. I can sleep 6 hours and still have so much energy. For the past couple of days I started to have very strong morning erections which is a great info about my PIED. Only 30 days made such an improvement.

So what I did differently this time?
First of all I changed my approach. I used to beat myself up after each relapse. I kept bringing myself down. Telling myself that I won't ever succeed. This time I started practicing positive self talk. I know it sounds lame but really I started to compliment myself all the time. I kept saying myself positive things even If I didn't feel like I deserved them. For example I kept thinking that I'm a warrior, that I'm a good guy because I fight, that I'm patient and strong. I started to repeat that no matter what I'm strong and I can do this. I looked myself in a mirror and tried to imagine myself 6 months from now, being so proud of all the changes I've made. You see guys, addiction is not a choice. Obviously, we don't want an addiction, but we (some of us), do have it. When you have a flu, you don't even think about beating yourself up because you are sick. You know it takes some time to recover. You patiently endure all the pain. You know that eventually you will feel good. I think that's a great approach with addictions. Accept you have it. You aren't gonna have it for the rest of your life. It's a temporary thing. Yes, It's gonna be fricking difficult and hard and you will have days that you would rather jump, than make it one more day but that's just your brain tricking you. You'd be amazed how much things you can endure. If you have a flu, that doesn't mean that you are a piece of shit. You just have a flu. If you are addicted. It doesn't mean you are a loser, bad person. That means that you have an addiction and if you are willing to fight, that's enought reason to be proud of yourself and respect yourself. I feel that I'm so touchy and mainstream saying that, but really man you have to love and respect yourself. Be your best support. Constantly uplift yourself. You see, we depend on outer "motivation" so much. NoFap videos, forum, panic button. All of that is great. But the main, the essential motvation should be in your heart, always with you. So try to be good for yourself. Feel compassion for yourself. Don't feel sorry for yourself. Feel compassion. There's a difference. Because it doesn't matter if it's your fault, or not. You suffer. You are in pain. And that's enough to be good for yourself. And don't get me wrong. I don't preach some lunatic approach. Relapse and be happy. No. Try and make effort with all your heart but always be good for yourself. You will feel so much respect for yourself.

Second thing I did differently is I started to work as a waiter. That worked so bad with my social anxiety (lol) but I made that on purpose. I wanted to face my fears. As a waiter I have to spend so much time with people. First days were nightmare. But graudally I became more peaceful and confident. I work 2 jobs now. I don't even have time to run a journal. My day is 100% busy. I don't have time to think about PMO at all.

I know this story is very chaotic but I tried to write it very quickly. If you have any questions, just ask in the thread. If I can leave you with one thought, it's this. Be yours best friend. Keep the feeling of respect and compassion for yourself, in your heart. Make an effort and reward yourself for it.