Feel like im missing out on something

So im about a whopping 2 hours since I PMO'd last and I just wanted to share on part of what caused it. Often while im trying to abstain I always have this nagging thought that im missing out on some porn vid that I've been waiting to stumble across. I know in my heart that its not going to be there but when I look I find something that suffices ( in fact just by abstaining for a few days it doesn't take much to get me going). It really nags at me even though I know I wont find what im looking for I search anyways. Then I dont find that super dirty new scene I'd tryed to convince myself was going to be online waiting for me so I find the next best thing and get buisness done and then go on to feel like crap knowing that I screwed up and that even if I do 'reset' i will have to go the next several days being moody and depressed. If I do find the will power to get through the next couple days I know the urge will return. Im tired of this struggle I know that for certain.

 

Thanks for the input guys. I trybto distract myself with other thoughts or activities. It just sometimes gets overwhelming. When im feeling down is when im most vulnerable. I guess its depression because I cant find the motivation to get off my ass and do something more productive with my time. Im hoping that through abstaining from PMO for long enough I can past the urge and the motivation to get something productive done will come along with it. Definitely need to squash the delusion that there is something worthwhile in a porn scene for me to see though. Porn is really nothing but a let down in the long run.