Disclosing the addiction

In my opinion, they're absolutely correct. I believe it is crucial to share your story with someone.

However, it doesn't have to be someone you know. If you look up SAA's website, you can try and find a meeting in your area and check it out. Anonymity is "one of the core traditions" of SAA, and the members only use their first names.

Now, some of the people in that room will have much more severe behaviors they're dealing with--compulsive use of prostitutes, strip clubs, repeated infidelity, etc. But every single person in those meetings can relate to porn addiction.

It would give you an opportunity to share your addiction without pulling punches, in front of real flesh-and-blood people who are virtually guaranteed not to judge you. I think it's by far your best bet.

 

I've made this and it's really helpful. Feels like you're taking off a heavy weight of your shoulders and if it's a person that you REALLY trust and likes you, this person will try to help you.

 

Gotcha. That's certainly a valid reason. They also have phone meetings that you can call in to. It's not the same as talking with people in person, but it's more personal than doing it here in an online forum.

And let me be clear--I love this forum and I think it's really important. I just don't think it's a good substitute for real human connection.

If you choose to share this addiction with people in your life (friends or family), make sure it's someone who you know loves you unconditionally. You might find that you share it with someone, and they don't quite understand--and that's okay. Don't focus so much on how they'll react--focus on being able to speak it out and shine a light on this part of your life. The addiction thrives in secrecy, so bringing it out in the open is a huge first step.

I have a small handful of people in my "real life" who know just about everything about my addiction, including all the behaviors I struggled with outside of PMO. In each case, I said to them, "don't let this be the last time we talk about it. I'm sharing this with you because I'm giving you the freedom to ask me how I'm doing, to ask if I've been to any websites I shouldn't have, to ask if I've struggled with any particular triggers lately." They're not responsible for your recovery, but you're giving them an opportunity to be partners with you and help you in your recovery, know what I mean?

 

I have opened up to several family members and friends this year, and it has helped. My main accountability partner is a recovering alcoholic who attends AA daily and is almost 90 days sober. I also help hold him accountable to stay off alcohol while he holds me accountable to stay of pron. This relationship has helped because we both understand how strong the pull of addiction can be, whatever that addiction is. This leads us both to be less judgmental and more encouraging to each other, by understanding what the other is going through. He sends me a 'stay strong' text every night and seeing his continued sobriety inspires me.