Dealing with triggers

Hi guys,

Just wanted to share a concern of mine, that has been bugging me quite a bit lately.

I don't want to take time to explain in which stage of the reboot I am since I have already posted everything on my journal (a visits is always gladly appreciated).

I wanted to share a concern about how we should handle triggers, because even of ai am perfectly in control of myself they are still a deal

First off, they are everywhere, its really hard to avoid them alltogether. However with time I have been putting up a strategy, I have cut off all useless stimulation, but the only thing I am having hard times dealing with is instagram.

I am social, not too much, not too less so I enjoy instagram, however I am fully aware how triggers can hide in the home, I recently experienced it a couple of days ago, but in the last moths I have decided to put a hand on the screen and stop scrolling down, this way I can usually avoid sexual pics or at least understand if there is the danger of facing one, and if there is I usually close the app without removing my hand. It's not a perfect strategy since sometimes some slight trigger could still pass through this barrier but they have been reduced drastically.

Today however I am dealing with a new problem so I think I need to adapt my strategy once more.
I am dating a girl I really like, and she is quite social so she usually post pics and so on, most of them are not sexual but since I like her, they could still make me feel a slight rush in my head. I know I should just cut it all together but I think she appreciates when I put the likes in her pics an she returns them accordingly, it's just a thing to share with her, but it's a bit awkward to have to be aware and put a hand over the pics that your girl posts.

I could explain to her why I would stop following her socially, but not at this moment since we have been dating for a month or so. And I don't plan to tell her about my addiction until it's the right moment, so what would you suggest me to do?

 

Thanks for your reply dude! Triggers on social are my biggest weakness as well, but I like being social and I read somewhere that when you give up something you like because of porn addiction is when the addiction honestly holds you, and I believe this is extraordinary true.

Now this doesn't mean you have to actively search for triggers, but I would like to stay social while avoiding triggers, if possible. I know it's hard, I crossed a few of them even today, although I have built enough will power to just look away as soon as I see one of them.

But I want to improve further in this field and I am opened to suggestions!
Best of luck to you dude.

 

Hey dude!

I understand your position, I have basically quoted fb cold turkey last month and I have drastically reduced instagram usage as well, though I just use it seldomly tbh. Normally just to post a pic once in a while and to like this girl's pic. But I can understand how stupid may sound to give likes just to show interest, especially since I am dating her actually so I doubt she would give away a date with me for a like, she is not that type fortunately. Maybe it's just my mental block that makes me worried how she could feel if I don't like her pics. I enjoy doing that just as much as I enjoy when she likes one of mine. It's a (stupid) way to feel close to her. But I understand the need to move forward, since I can tell in march I basically encountered zero triggers and felt like a god!

Fact is, this is not the only problem: I wasn't the one that made me notice my girl posted a new pic but a friend of mine that sent me via WhatsApp this pic of her and joked telling me 'you should marry her'.

Now how should I behave in such a situation? If looking at a pic is required to answer a conversation without feeling retarded, how can I del with it? This is another awkward situation I have often been into, and an advice about this would be much appreciated too!

Thanks a lot guys

 

I understand that feel totally.

TBH I haven't had sex with her yet, she may be the first serious deal I have met since I have discovered NoFap 1 and half years ago. I have basically been in a flatline or mostly in one ever since so I have no idea if I could even perform with her honestly since I don't get that much aroused when I am with her (not because I don't like her but because of the flatline, I was heavily addicted from young age).

I plan to use instagram only to post my pics, the only doubt is what to do with her since what you have express in words is pretty much what I think when seeing a picture of a girl I like.

Thing is that this reboot seems already incredibly long and I would like to go as cold turkey as possible so even allowing myself a rush from her pics or watching pics that my friends post in the chats would be like cheating the reboot imho. So this is where my deal begins with actually.

As for the relapse, no. I am completely in control of that and actually as soon as I started nofap I never really missed old PMO.

 

Kind of. I mean, now that I have been experiencing many phases of the reboot I can say urges come here and there, but not strictly urges to fap or watch porn, not anymore at least.

But tbh porn was starting to getting boring even before reboot, I think I am such a severe case that nothing could turn me on anymore, I have already heard cases like these already.
I understand what you mean since I am extremly worried myself, but I cannot do anything really ther than abstaining and rewiring.

I also was one of those woth basically zero sexual experience before porn so my condition could be related to that as well. And tbh again my first year wasn't exactly clean, I masturbated more than once and even PMOed once (I was drunk) last summer. But I was really never enjoying those moments, I don't miss them at all. When I have urges now, they are mostly fantasies, and sometimes desire to meet a real girl but my brain seems to not have fully understood what it really needs still.

I cannot really say in which phase I am right now, since in is year and half I made progresses but slowly, first giving up porn and M (completly only 6/7 months ago), starting to detach myself from internet and internet/social P subs only recently and still struggling to, actually. And in the last 3 months I have felt most benefits than in the entire previous year.so I can only guess my progresses are slow but still happening, especially in educating myself in the nofap journey, which is as important.