I told myself that I would kill myself if I failed this time. I'm not doing that, but that describes my seriousness. I've been fapping to P since I was 13, now I am 19. P has always been one of the major causes to my depression I've had for six years. I think I fell victim to the depression because I always was bullied at school and never felt love at home (to make long story short). I'm unable to function normally: I lack the motivation and energy to study, I don't exercise, I suffer from social fears, extreme loneliness and anxiety, I have no friends whose company I genuinely enjoy (I've never had). I constantly crave for tenderness and love, but no one can help me. Porn I have used to compensate for the missing good but I've always known that it would damage me. I would always get a mental and physical nausea that would last for days after fapping to P. I have for all these six long years thought of quitting but it wasn't until now that I decided to really try. this time I will overcome the cliff: one of the steepest rocks out of many in my life. I started the challenge a week ago. Since then I've only relapsed once to a semi innocent pic. (She was covered and I refused to fap)
