My porn addiction has taken some ridiculous forms, so I thought I'd start a thread to discuss about this. I assume sharing our experiences can be a trigger to the most sensitive fapstronauts, so if you are one, maybe you should skip the thread. And posters, please use the NSFW tags, just in case. I'll use them too, for practice, although I don't think my experiences will trigger anyone. 1. [NSFW]When I intend to PMO, i'll start the browser and enter one of my favorite pages, and then surf, and surf, and surf for hours. And I save most of the pictures and some of the videos - and hardly never even look them another time. If I come across a favorite pic, I may save it again, in case I don't find the original one. And next time - because I crave novelty - repeat, from the start. Fire up the browser, etc. All saved images just sit on my disk, unsorted, unorganized, and with duplicates. Why do I do this? So that in case I didn't get to Internet for some hours, I could still PMO as if I couldn't wait few hours, or a couple of days? And that in case my favorite pics/vids would be gone from the site, or that I just couldn't find them? Like I would find them from my gigs and gigs of porn collection any easier. That behavior is completely absurd.[/NSFW] 2. [NSFW]I suffer from ED. Especially with my wife. Not as often when I PM until O, but that happens too. And that's like more pathetic than anything else that I can think of. Just jacking off with my flaccid penis in my hand. Where's the point in that?[/NSFW]
Alright, I'll share a few of my symptoms as well: 1.[NSFW] I only seem to be stimulated by either one category or another completely different category. It's really weird, and I know that a certain thing from one category really stimulated me, but the next day or two, it doesn't, and I have to go to the other category. Other times, I would look at one category of stuff, and then go to the other category to finish myself.[/NSFW] 2.[NSFW] I start searching for generic videos, and when I find a certain source that I really like, I will open multiple tabs that are used for searching for that source. Eventually, I get sidetracked by another stimulating source and start searching for that.[/NSFW] 3.[NSFW] Remembering porn stars' names from long ago. I really hate that because if I think about them, then I will probably look up their names. [/NSFW]
I can totally relate, using automated programs to automatically download tons of pics and videos in storage and then thinking I'd actually sort them for hours and organize them. What a totally ridiculous effort and waste of time with 1TB of that crap.
1. Lack of appetite 2. Will embrace other vices 3. Will not use technology correctly 4. Somewhat numb emotionally, then frustration
Not being able to get off to "normal" porn, and then looking at a certain kind i think is degrading (but it was "new" to me so it really got me going), and feeling like shit after. One of the reasons i started this, i need to have control again.
1. [NSFW]I would never consume just one single image or video. It would be multiple images in rapid succession. At the very end of my porn addiction, I'd go through entire albums of very graphic sex and not see anything I'd like. Same with videos: I would never watch a whole video. I'd skip through to the "good" part and of course that wouldn't be enough for me. I'd need more videos.[/NSFW] 2. [NSFW]I would hoard pornography. I would save a shitload of stuff but I wouldn't even look at it. Still, I had to have that one image that did the trick on my hard drive. How could I ever find another picture like it? My porn collection got to be 4-6GB in mostly images.[/NSFW] 3. [NSFW]The pornography I was looking at no longer involved mostly sex. Sometimes it was bodily functions. Sometimes it had to be a very specific kind of bodily function. Performed incorrectly, I wouldn't like it. I would NEVER be turned on by these bodily functions IRL, so additionally my sexual tastes had become unrealistic. [/NSFW] 4. [NSFW]I was regularly getting off to gay stuff, but I could never make that magic happen IRL. This indicates that I am probably not into dudes, but it's too early to tell.[/NSFW]
Point 1 from LowOnFuel and points 2 and 3 from JRtheFox I felt like I was reading about myself especially the names thing that is probably the main way I always trip up on my goals in this.
