So I've been watching porn, and am positive in my sexuality. I know through a multitude of experiences that I am straight. I began watching porn around 11-12, 19 now, and mastrubated frequently, usually a couple times a day. As I became further desensitized, my brain began seeking more and more porn, beginning at transgendered person/femdom to very intense gay scenes. This eventually led to many hookups with strangers via grindr for the purpose of being fcked or giving head (the submissive role). So now, 23 days into a reboot have stayed away, yet urges are erupting. For me, I get incredibly horny to the point of having me hookup, but regret the entire thing and honestly think in my head "when can this finish". So due to it being porn-induced, can I choose to hookup with someone later tonight, or just lay off. And in extension, is engaging in this behaviour completely unhealthy?
I personally want to stay away from any sexual experience for months, until I feel confident again I can have normal sex with someone, but I don't want it to be hookups just to get off, I want a real relationship, so as long as I don't get that, there's no sex for me, even if it takes years.
I've also been in a relationship with my gf for the past 7 months, and cravings right now are incredibly difficult to suppress. Think it'd be better sticking to vanilla sex with her and trying my best to avoid all that? (she's visiting on Saturday).
If you and your girlfriend are honest with each other you should sit down and explain to her your situation and how she can help you overcome your addiction. She should be your focus when it comes to any form of sexual interaction, she is your sole source for sex and she should be your only focus and thoughts. As long as you don't try to emulate porn in real life you should be fine, but communication with your partner is important, this way she won't feel like she's not wanted.
So she is completely aware of my reboot, and is fully supportive of it. The fact is I can not and will not bring up instances of gay sex due to personal reasons. However, is it possible by having gay sex instead of PMO will help neural pathways come back to the real thing, or due to everything being porn induced, it be holistically negative in the long run?
I'm not exactly sure how you could have gay sex while having a girlfriend, if you love her and want to be with her any other fetish you had while you were indulging your addiction should be completely avoided, this way your brain will naturally go back to normal. If you are saying you have feelings for men then maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship with her?
Not exactly. The attraction I've had for men has been only ever sexual, and I could never have any legitimate relationship. In extension to that, it's the idea of having sex w/ men that is more of a turn on, as during the act I rarely experience any sort of excitement or an erection of sorts.
Sorry to hear your story, Mark. That is where femdom leads to and worse. The people who produce that filth literally have a progression that eventually leads to sissy and gay. Stop hooking up with strangers. If you took it in the ass you should get tested. You're gonna kill yourself getting fucked by strangers, and even though HIV is nowhere near as contagious [ according to the CDC] through vaginal as it is anal it can still be transmitted that way and you are jeopardizing your girlfriend's health and life. I don't believe anyone is born gay, or that anyone is inherently gay, but I hope even the most ardent gay supporters would discourage you from random hookups with strangers where you take it in the ass? That is the #1 way to get HIV, and it is extremely dangerous. I'm sure that what you are doing makes you miserable and regret it, or if you don't your just so deep in a pit of despair that you can't feel it. It may be hard to deal with what you have done? You were into femdom so I assume you had a lot of negative conditioning to push toward sissyness and that sort of thing fucks with your mind. Good luck, man, but don't be getting fucked by dudes and then fucking your girlfriend that could be murder.
So I've only ever practiced safe sex, and have been tested on everything, with all results being negative, so there isn't a concern of STIs or HIV. But I do agree with you on the points of femdom and sissy. It first began with the porn, then moved onto camming with girls and having them tell me what to do, eventually onto gay porn, and then practice in the real world (trust me when I say everything is safe). It makes me feel horrible doing it all behind her back, being in this LDR relationship. She's incredibly valuable to be, but sometimes it's just too hard to control.
Here he is again - Themadfapper with his anti-gay rhetoric. "Murder"!? Do you even understand safe sex for God's sake?
I've never had any attraction towards men, but I did watch sometimes transsexual porn. I didn't care about them being born men, all I cared about what the fact they looked like hot women. I was never attracted to the ones that kinda looked man'ish, or transvestites, it was strictly really good looking transsexuals. The fact that I never tried or will ever be interested in having real sex with one is that this is only a fetish, and by the sound of what you describe, yours is a fetish too. Men will play a special role in bed that women can't fulfill, the same thing goes with my fetish for trans women. My mindset basically went like "It's a girl with a dick, so if I choose I can bend over and try anal" I've never done anal but the idea excited me, since it was pushing my sexual boundaries, regular vanilla porn wasn't working for me any more so I was uping my game. Maybe if I kept walking this path I would have eventually hired a trans prostitute to try it out, I was already scrolling on craigslist to get a few numbers of escorts. This is why you should never engage in your fetish, while you stay away from porn your mind begins to slowly get rid of those weird fetishes, and normalizes, The same excitement you got by watching gay porn will be 100 times better with your girlfriend. Remember, this fetish only exists because you kept sinking in deeper in your addiction, it's something you may desire now, but later you won't anymore. Maybe it's only been 8 days for me, but I already lost my interest in trans women. And no offence to them, I have absolutely nothing against them, but I have to be honest about what I'm attracted to, and I never cared to establish anything outside a sexual experience with one, so I only viewed them as objects. Now I see them as people, and I wouldn't begin a relationship with one because I know I'm only interested in natural born women, if anyone feels attracted to them or to men then that's a whole other story.
http://nypost.com/2017/04/24/stealthing-is-the-newest-dangerous-sex-trend/ Anonymous sex with strangers where you meet up with them and get fucked in the ass is anything but safe. It's the most dangerous kind of sex there is. You have joined the highest risk group for contracting Aids. If you knowingly go out and risk getting HIV and then have sex with your girlfriend without her knowing about your dangerous behavior that is murder [ giving her HIV] Down low guys are likely the reason why we have HIV in the straight community in the western world. The black community in the USA has staggeringly high HIV rates, and that is the likely cause of it.
I had the same problem. I think that is an effect on our minds that are searching for new experiences and sensations
I've never escalated to gay porn but transwoman porn led me to question my sexuality. The thought of actually acting out anything is ludicrous to me and if you aren't gay and do not enjoy it. Just stop. Why do you keep doing it? Think about what you girlfriend would think if she knew what you are up to? I believe in safe sex but anonymous hook ups is truly unsafe so I'm with themadhatter on this one. Quit watching porn and stop getting fucked by dudes. Think of your poor fucking girlfriend mate
I would just like to add that keeping secrets from your girlfriend is unhealthy and unfair. If you are hooking up with strangers when she is not around, regardless of what gender they are or why you do it or whether you thinks its 'safe' or if its an LDR or not, you are disrespecting her and treating her like a worthless piece of garbage. You should tell her the truth about what you have been doing now. She needs to make an informed decision, if she still wants to date you or wants to break up with you. Some women are open to polyamory. But if you don't tell your partner the truth about your sexual history/activity, and if they knew the truth they would not consent to have sex with you, then if you keep having sex with them under false pretenses, you are in fact having non-consensual sex and committing a form of rape. The only way to resolve this is by telling her the truth and finding out if she would still want to be with you. Lying to preserve your sexual habits is a symptom of porn addiction. But this goes beyond porn addiction, you are violating the basic rules of relationships. I hope you understand that your actions tell me you don't consider your girlfriend to be a real human being.
Yeah, plus you're cheating on her. It doesn't matter if it's with a man or woman it's still cheating on her and that aint fair.
I hate to say it, but I think he's right and that goes for porn subs too. And they are NOT GOOD paths either. It can take you places you REALLY DON'T want to go.
According to this theory women raping men is one of the biggest epidemics of our current times. Almost all women are or have been rapists at some point in their lives. It's not rape. If guys didn't lie to get women in the sack none of us would be here today. It does matter that he is getting sodomized by guys rather than cheating with a mistress. He is engaging in the most high-risk kind of sex that there is receptive anal with anonymous men.
