I have deleted all internet history and bookmarks on porn, however, I have porn on my external hard drive. I wanted to plug it in and delete them, and when I did, my finger stopped before I could click away the delete option. I don't know why this is happening, I already made my decision to never watch porn again so, why? Why can't I delete something I'm sure I'll never watch? Is it an emotional attachment to it? I was extremely selective with my porn and didn't bother to download everything I found. You could say I have a holy grail of porn, the rarest material you can find, including porn I made with an ex gf. I told myself I would wait until I feel like I don't need it in my hard drive anymore, but, I don't know if this is wise, I believe in myself enough to never watch it, but I lack the strength to delete it. Thoughts?
I know EXACTLY that feeling. It's weird for me. I had that when I put the filter on my computer. I think ultimately it's a fear that dependence over time brings. I liken it to a few years ago. I broke up with a girl I'd dated for two years, but I still kept the text messages she wrote me on my phone. And I kept the letters she wrote me. If you're like me, you've tied up a lot of your life in porn (as sad as that sounds). Sometimes, even with non human entities, we have to go through the break-up process. Sounds like some of your porn is especially emotional. I'd day if you're honest with yourself, and you'll never watch it again, there's no good in having it. It's hard get in the pool when you won't get your hair wet.
Thanks, I know right now I can't bring myself to delete it but, I'll try and find it in me to let go of it and delete it for good. I want to leave all pornographic history behind me truly, and as long as that remains on my hard drive, I can't really say I've let it go.
More or less this. Not to say you don't want to quit porn or aren't taking this seriously. It can be seen as one of those half-measures. I guess it gets a bit tricky. Do you wait until you think you'll be ready to delete it? In the time you might wait, what will come first, being ready to delete it or looking at the material? Do you delete it with a strong will, where some part of you doesn't want to, because you have some reservation and maybe relapse anyway? I think you should delete it. Even if you were to relapse after getting rid of that rare trove, you'll probably have thoughts of "man, why did I delete that stuff just then, I relapsed, I could have at least binged a bit on it". But really, the end game, regardless of possible relapses in-between, you have to delete that porn sometime.
Just kill it already. This is practically the same thing as saying "I have a diamondback rattle snake under a cardboard box next to my bed, I'll just leave it there and hope for the best!" Smash it, burn it, microwave it, bake it, pour battery acid on it, explode it, delete it. Literally any of these options is better than living a life of holding on to an addiction. You won't have true freedom until you let go of your chains.
This means you dont wanna quit. If you really want to quit bro just go for it delete everything which stops you from being cured just go for it hit that delete button and trust me brother you will feel good and lastly have faith in god.
I finally did it, I hadn't opened it since I started nofap so, I didn't know how I'd feel next time my finger was one click away from delete. Oddly, I just pressed it with no remorse or hesitation. I guess on day 1 I was still doubting I could pull this off, maybe leaving behind some kind of insurance policy. The past is behind me, the perversions are over, now I feel free and capable of doing this with full certainty. Thanks everyone.
The first time is the hardest. Now, if you realize you have any more, it should be easier. At least, that's how it was for me.
I had all my porn in one folder, and another folder where my ex gf and I had a lot of pornographic material of us. I deleted both folders and empty the recycle bin, so, its gone forever. I never kept any other porn anywhere else. I feel like I have more control over my emotions now, I didn't think I was capable of deleting it, seeing myself do it mean I've improved.
You can't take porn with you when you die anyway, the only thing you leave behind are the memories of you in others, so make sure the memories people have of you as a human being, are ones they enjoy remembering.
Goddamn, I'm right here staring at the same problem. Over 30 days clean and I'm not ready to get rid of my stuff either. But I will. Some incredible stuff in there. Makes me sweat just thinking about deleting it. But I will. I will.
Trust me, deleting it will set you free, as long as you have it you are still being controlled by it. Let it go and be happy.
I deleted mine long time ago, but the problem with my addiction stayed. With so many porn sites full with content, if I have or not porn on the hard drive doesn't make a difference for me personally.
I've been able to avoid porn on the internet since my decision was final and life changing, of course, the temptation is always there, I always still hit x on my search bar, and a second later realize it's out of habit. Since all internet history and bookmarks are deleted, the suggestions that come on the box are xbox lol. My porn collection however represented something more. It was a well kept drug basically, that I had just in case the internet service was down, I had backup porn just in case. Imagine that I couldn't go without porn a single day...it was sick. I'm so glad I got rid of it.
I have totally been there, swearing it off forever, and just keeping the really good stuff just in case. It's a future binge just waiting to happen. To beat this you can't make half attempts.
Damnit man. You're right. I'm secretly hoping that I reach this monk zen level where I can watch my old porn casually, not masturbate, and still maintain my correctly wired brain at the same time. Is that too much to ask of the universe?
That's like a drunk who is off the bottle for a while and thinks that he can drink responsibly now. He'll be plastered again just like old times. You will never be able to casually view porn again. It's either remain an addict or never look at it again, ever.
