Why do people relapse? (+My story)

Hey everybody!

I am new to NoFap. I found it like a month ago. My record was like 4 days... But I haven't taught about it seriously at all...
Now I'm on only on day 3, but I know, that I can make it. I rarely have any urges, and I could easily overcome them. I also work on my mind and on my view of the world, my personality every day. I've improved a lot. When I started my journey, I was so insecure. I couldn't talk to girls. I mean every girl. Nor to the reserved ugly girl in the corner. I always had a fear inside me, that people don't like me, and that I am not good enaugh. I had no confidence, and no social life. My parents forced me to go to free time activities. I mean sports now mostly. I changed basketball teams every year (for 3-4 years), and I could never fit into the new teams. I didn't even have the courage to play on the field. I had a huge fear of doing something bad, so I did nothing, and I was the worst player in every single team. Even the new guys who never played basketball were better than me, because, at least, the tried, and the enjoyed both the game and the time spent with the guys there. I got a lots of negative feedback, and no positive at all. I don't remember, that what was the change, but I somehow started to improve my life. I had really no empathy - which I think is okay for a 12 years old -, and I was really reserved. I wanted to change my whole life. I even taught about suicide before, because I was so lonely and sad. I had no friends (neither now, but that's because I don't want to make friends with these mean kids in my enviroment. I will go to a new school next year, and I'm sure, that I'll be way more happy in this part of my life) and I could not make a single one. I started to search on the internet about the feelings of others. I learn a lot about body languange, and I consider myself an expert in this field (really). First I learned about the feelings of other to know how to make friends easier. But then I started to understand the feelings of others. That why people do what they do. At that point I became a new boy. A fat and super-shy and insecure boy with no confidence, but with the skill to understand the motivation behind the actions of people. I was 13 years old. Well, I was relatively bad at school too... (I'm still not learning more, I think it's useless) After all these struggle, I started to work on my confiednce. It took me more than a year to reach that point where I wasn't confident, but where I didn't have depression, negative toughts all day, etc. I lost a lot of weight (It was actually when I was like 12-13 years old). I tried to face my bad personality traits, bad habits and tried to be happy. I'm not sure, what exactly I did, but now I'm more confident that like literally all teenagers around me (I'm 14), but that doesn't matter. I'm still not happy with my life. I still feel insecure about many things. Mostly about my personality. I can not stand up for myself all the time. - Well, I think that I am a great person now <3 - It may be okay, but not for me. I want to be happy. That's what I was searching for all these years. Well, these were the times, when I used to PMO. Maybe there are some relations between these things.

So now I started NoFap. I want to end PMO forever. Well, P isn't a problem, I had easily overcame it. MO (well, only M) is my only true enemy now. I saw lots of people, who relapsed after 50, or even 100 days, and I can't understand how. So here is my big question.
How did you relapse after so much time?
I can't get it.

I hope, that my life in a nutshell - even that I am new to NoFap - could be a sort of a motivation, that you could always stand up, and have a better life.

 

Hey everybody!

I am 14 years old, and new to NoFap. I found it like a month ago. My record was like 4 days... But I haven't tought about it seriously at all...
Now I'm only on day 3, but I know, that I can make it. I rarely have any urges, and I could easily overcome them. I also work on my mind and on my view of the world, my personality every day. I've improved a lot. When I started my journey, I was so insecure. I couldn't talk to girls. I mean every girl. Nor to the reserved ugly girl in the corner. I always had a fear inside me, that people don't like me, and that I am not good enaugh. I had no confidence, and no social life. My parents forced me to go to free time activities. I mean sports now mostly. I changed basketball teams every year (for 3-4 years), and I could never fit into the new teams. I didn't even have the courage to play on the field. I had a huge fear of doing something bad, so I did nothing, and I was the worst player in every single team. Even the new guys who never played basketball were better than me, because, at least, they tried, and they enjoyed both the game and the time spent with the guys there. I got a lots of negative feedback, and no positive at all. I don't remember, that what was the change, but I somehow started to improve my life. I had really no empathy - which I think is okay for a 12 years old -, and I was really reserved. I wanted to change my whole life. I even taught about suicide before, because I was so lonely and sad. I had no friends (neither now, but that's because I don't want to make friends with these mean kids in my enviroment. I will go to a new school next year, and I'm sure, that I'll be way more happy in this part of my life) and I could not make a single one. I started to search on the internet about the feelings of others. I learn a lot about body languange, and I consider myself an expert in this field (really). First I learned about the feelings of others to know how to make friends easier. But then I started to understand the feelings of others. That why people do what they do. At that point I became a new boy. A fat and super-shy and insecure boy with no confidence, but with the skill to understand the motivation behind the actions of people. I was 13 years old. Well, I was relatively bad at school too... (I'm still not learning more, I think it's useless) After all these struggle, I started to work on my confiednce. It took me more than a year to reach that point where - I wasn't confident, but where - I didn't have depression, negative toughts all day, etc. I lost a lot of weight (It was actually when I was like 12-13 years old).
*Those where the times, when first time in my life, I was happy* :,( I also tried to face my bad personality traits, bad habits and tried to be happy. I'm not sure, what exactly I did, but now I'm more confident that like literally all teenagers around me (I'm 14), but that doesn't matter. I'm still not happy with my life. Not happy enaugh. I know, that I can do much more. I still feel insecure about many things. Mostly about my personality. I can not stand up for myself all the time. - Well, I think that I am a great person now <3 - It may be okay, but not for me. I want to be happy. That's what I was searching for all these years. Well, these were the times, when I used to PMO. Maybe there are some relations between these things. After all I wen't throught a lot of stress, but it seems, that everithing is getting allright. Even in studying. I got accepted to the second best high school in the counry (I live in Eastern Europe).

So now I started NoFap. I want to end PMO forever. Well, P isn't a problem, I had easily overcame it. MO (well, only M) is my only true enemy now. I saw lots of people, who relapsed after 50, or even 100 days, and I can't understand how. So here is my big question.
How did you relapse after so much time?
I can't get it.

I hope, that my life in a nutshell - even that I am new to NoFap - could be sort of a motivation, and that I could show you, that you could always stand up, and have a better life.

 

Thank you!

 

Well, I'll:
•Keep busy
- I may even start to learn a bit
- I have some great books
- do sports

•Painful motivation
- I have these plastic bands or whatever they are called around my waist, so wether I have an urge, or wether I look at a girl's body in a sexual way, or even when I just think about something sexual, I pull this plastic thing, then relase it...
- You know, better than nothing

•Hold my breath, and use my bigger muscles
- My muscles need oxigen, so when my brain recognizes, that there is no oxigen coming in, it gets blood from body parts, that aren't that useful at the moment. So it transfers the blood from my penis to the muscles.
- I don't know if it really works or anything, but my erectijon goes away more quickly

•Mindset
- I simply don't give a f*uck and carry on with my thing
- That simple
- I also remind miself of my goals, and that why did I start NoFap

 

Thank you!
Before I started NoFap for the very first time, I felt no shame after like the 8th MO in one day. Since my start I felt really bad for 2 day. I always started it again, but ended with a stupid execuse... Well, really stupid ones. I didn't taught, that it may ever work for me. But now I decided to do it. After the last relapse, I felt totally okay. I knew, that I did something, that I should never do again, but didn't felt bad about myself. I realized, that it's useless, to be sad for 2 days for something, that actually... Everybody does in my enviroment... But anyway, I don't wanna relapse again.

 

Thank you

 

Thank you