this is advice to those of you who think nofap is now easy and are becoming complacent in recovery

Interesting post, I generally agree. My goal has always been to remove porn from my life to the fullest extent possible, but that also means getting to a place where I don't feel like I'm struggling everyday. Just as much as I don't like porn, I also don't like fighting it everyday.

And perhaps my addiction is not as strong as everyone's, but I've gotten to that point. I finally (after 3 years) set up accountability software (Ever Accountable) and I don't even know how long my current streak is. I don't think about it. It's a few months, I think. I come onto NoFap once or twice a month, usually to procrastinate from work. I have some urges, but I just pinch myself hard when I have them, and I move on. Because I KNOW I'm not going to let myself down/embarrass myself in front of my accountability partner. Granted, I've been working hard at this for 3 years, and I've reached streaks up to 150 days (plus three or four 90 day streaks), so I have a lot of experience to learn from. Yes, I am being somewhat complacent by trying to not let this recovery consume me, but I finally feel at a place where I can do that.

 

Urges are much less of a problem now at 50 days. I have gone two days without any strong urges now which I think is a record. I completely understand why people relapse at this point though. If you start thinking if Nofap is worth it etc you are in grave danger. It is easy to forget how bad you used to feel.

 

My goal is to get to a place in recovery where I leave porn and the NoFap nest behind. Don't get me wrong I like the community, but I don't want to be here years from now still seeing posts about semen retention.

 

Great goal. I can see myself still helping the noobz even when I accomplish waiting until marriage but definitely coming here less often. Because I'll be busy











having sex


Where is your journal?!

 

My wife's gonna get destroyed in the bedroom.

Did you click on where it says "My Journal" in my signature?

 

This is absolutely true, i've been less active in the forum the past weeks and i feel how less in control i've been. Luckily no relapse, but im getting back on track with the community because it's not only about helping yourself but about helping others...and hopefully this chain rise real awareness in the mainstream about what porn can do to our lives.

 

Happened to me yesterday. Some things are just universally true for all people. Nice post!

 

Neither a pessimist nor an optimist be I'd say. But you need a positive frame of mind if you are going to break out of the addiction. If you are always anxious about lapsing, that anxiety may just feed on itself... and hello, you lapse.

The realist mind-set is the best one. You knew what your reality was, you now know what your reality is, and you know what you want your future reality to be. It is a process of becoming. You can not identify with some static reality that would say you are forever an addict. This process would entail a weaning off this site.

So for the recovering addict, who has made some inroads, and in the process of breaking the back of the addiction, coming to the relapse thread everyday is perhaps not a good policy. You want to get to the point where P just fades away in the distance, you don't want to be reminded of it everyday afresh.

It depends where you are in the process. A year ago, I would get overly confident and complacent. And yes, I would lapse. But re-reading my posts at that time, I could see it in the post... an overly triumphant and optimistic tone. With real recovery comes a more sober tone that is confident but still wary given past experience. But added to this is an inner awareness of a qualitative change - the addiction has lost its compulsive strength whatever your counter might happen to say.

And then you come back to post incessantly, to once and for all get that extended counter, to prove to yourself that you have actually quit and are now an ex-addict.

Day 43

 

There's a relapse thread?

 

I can somewhat vouch for this. I'm over 70 days without PMO or edging, and I'm feeling really good. But in this comfort, I must be letting my guard down as any p-sub or trigger in the public domain is giving me tiny urges reminiscent of when I first started my reboot. I'm hoping they go away as I'm trying to find more things to occupy my time, but it's a stark reminder of how difficult this is and possibly will be indefinitely.

 

Hi! There is indeed!
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?forums/reset-and-relapse-reports.31/

Welcome to NoFap!

 

Hey guys, just thought I'd chip in. Like some of you here I've weirdly found this journey quite easy (maybe my addiction wasn't as severe as I first thought). I haven't really had many urges, only ones where I think about girls that I already know none to do with wanting to watch porn again. I've been on my laptop quite a bit, watching films, coming on these forums and not once have I been tempted to head to my favourite porn site. It's strange because I thought I'd really struggle, but have been pretty fine. I just imagine what would my friends and family think? how do I want them to see me? I want to be known as a decent, hard working guy, not some bloke who whacks off at every opportunity when he's alone.
To all of you though keep going whatever your struggle. Push through the pain and the urges and you'll get there. If anything it will improve your life dramatically, it has for me. I'm far more outgoing and can talk to women with confidence now. Stay strong guys, you got this!!!!