So long, my friends.

Hi! I wanted to let you all know that I'll be leaving the community, at least as an active member, as I don't plan to delete my account here.

This is not a "goodbye" because of being tired, but because I'm no longer an addict: the war's over and I've won.

I plan to delete my journal and some posts around here, so if you see something that you think is worth keeping, please let me know.

Perhaps my best contribution to the community, the one that's going to last, are my 5 documents: https://mega.co.nz/#!IklQjKLZ!7wB_rRRnayx4jLskFqZl6Mne1WitOWVi3RdlQYuLk1w
that can be also checked out online:
https://docs.zoho.com/writer/published.do?rid=egrja48449688f6b64384a92dc508371e1bb6 (Trimpey)
https://docs.zoho.com/writer/published.do?rid=egrjaeb72003a603b45e991efbe06cb69f2b9 (Prochaska)
https://docs.zoho.com/writer/published.do?rid=jqmi41a67d6a5c1dd430cae0e1ce820f3d6dd (NoFap Solideo)
https://docs.zoho.com/writer/published.do?rid=jqmi4a3dfbba597dd471d9ef9bdf9716f94b6 (triggers-relapse)
https://docs.zoho.com/writer/published.do?rid=egrja6c26d1780b35480ebbb770fc82844cc0 (Skinner)

I've still to have a final talk with my two APs, so I'll wait until then (around a week).

I'm keeping my two counters to remember where I come from, to remember the pain, the loneliness, the self hatred... you know, the usual.

I have quit the addiction, but many other areas of my life need my time and energy. This is the beginning of a new life for me: I've burnt my past (literally, yesterday) and now I'm fit to face the present and to welcome the future, a future that might be good or bad, but I can tell you this: it will be a future of freedom.

If you haven't read it, here's my decalogue, which only consists in 9 points. You'll have to figure out the tenth by yourself.

DECALOGUE

1. To masturbate or not to masturbate is a matter of personal choice. You do it because you want pleasure. You can get help, but in the end, you're the one who has to take the journey from addiction (slavery) into freedom.

2. There are two roads to take: to keep masturbating or to abstain from it FOREVER. No degrees, no excuses. Or you keep having masturbation as an option or you don't. If you decide on your own free will that you want to take the second road, NO MATTER WHAT (car accident, death of a loved one, lost job, failed test), YOU DO NOT MASTURBATE.

3. Before the physical action of fapping, we already know what's going to happen. We know what's going to happen if we start looking at "those" "harmless" pictures on the net; or when we're lying in bed, with our eyes closed, unable to sleep and we start to remember about that girl, that pornstar... You must end it before it even starts. Is like fighting a fire: thrown a blanket, use a fire extinguisher. Don't say to yourself: "let's wait a little bit, so see what gets burned and what not".

4. Face withdrawal: it's going to hurt, it's going to be uncomfortable for some days, but you are going to survive. How many have died from abstinence? How many are in the hospital because of it? Because we all know the story about the guy whose testicles exploded from the lack of release, right? No, we don't, because it hasn't happened, and it will never happen.

5. To quit MO is not going to solve other problems in your life, unless those problems caused directly with PMO/MO. If you don't have a girfriend and you stop masturbating, there's not going to be a knock in your door right away. True, you can gain time, confidence and other "superpowers", but to quit PMO/MO forever is not a magical pill, so don't expect a sudden blinding light and a voice that's going to say "you have quit PMO, now you won't have any other problems, ever again".

6. Read, read, read. Know what you're going to face. Get to know your body, in a non masturbatory way. What are withdrawal synthoms? How does your brain works?

7. Talk with others, try to help others. It's your problem, true, but we all have more or less the same problem. I challenge you: go find me another internet community with this kind of love and support, where you're understood, not judged and respected for who you are: introverted, extroverted, heterosexual, homosexual, religious, non religious. If you take something useful from here, try to give something useful in return: sometimes a word of hope, an advice, sometimes a good ear. We all need to be listened, we all need to be cared for. Don't say the same to everyone, unless they're all facing the same problem. Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes.

8. Learn to forgive yourself and learn to forgive others; learn to love yourself and to love others.

9. Live your life. Turn off your computer and go outside: you're going to be happy sometimes and miserable many other times. That's what real life's about. Stop hiding behind a screen, behind porn, behind any type of drug.

10.

Thank you all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KodNFsP6r88

 

Thank you very much for your kind words, monke. I wish you the best. Don't lose hope, because this can be beaten. It takes time, effort and patience, but it can be done.

 

Thank you very much, ponderingwonder and M15h.