As I near 23 on March 13th, I can barely look at myself in the mirror. Dark circles, weak muscles, poor posture, no libido. I am nothing in this moment. All I want is to die. Today, after about 12 days of NoFap, I still feel depressed and suicidal even. The funny thing is that I have hope and I know that these feelings subside. I have completed the 90-Day challenge (even Hard Mode) two years ago. You would think that after that I would abstain from porn, but porn is like heroin. It's always there for you and even though the initial high feels intense and euphoric, it's only a matter of time before your life snowballs into a dark abyss. On top of the NoFap challenge, I have also given up all drugs. I am also going through a breakup after 2 years. It's truly devastating. I even work with the girl. I can suck it up for now, but I will probably end up finding a new job soon. I haven't forgiven her yet. I need to. My reasons for giving NoFap another go again is that I NEED to be more confident. I can't live my life any longer turning to stimuli like porn and drugs. I NEED my alpha drive back. Some days I can't even look people in the eyes because I cowar from my low self-esteem and fear of rejection. This ends now. I have put off CAREERS because of how terrible my depression has gotten. I've done it before and so I'll do it again. Good luck to everyone. This site gives me hope for my new life. PEACE✌
Wow, thanks for sharing bro. Keep your head up and look forward to the future. Pretend that porn was never a part of your life and see every day as a fresh start towards better opportunity. You're already on your towards recovery and overtime you will cope with the outcome of your relationship. Take it easy man
I've got a decade age wise, but only a few more days ahead of you NoFap ,but keep pushing through and being strong. I have felt like a roller coaster of crazy enotions. My gf dumped me hence why I tripped and fell into NoFap in the first place. I couldn't imagine working with her and she cutting me off the way she has, but in a way it's allowed me to focus more on this. Doesn't make me happy but oddly there is some peace in it. Don't give up or give in. I've run and had more cold showers in the past couple of weeks than I have in my entire life. ....but it helps.
Went through a breakup a year ago that really affected me. Exercise, especially in a group setting, really helped. Started meditating too. Apps like headspace and calm will help you get started with that. +1 for the cold showers suggeation too. Stay strong brother.
Oops, I meant *22, but still, I don't have too bad of urges to fap because I have been through this before. I'm really just hoping this will aid my recovery from being depressed in general. I'm looking for peace and confidence. No more weird fatigue and mood swings.
Hi @JustAFloorCrumb , welcome back to NoFap You already know the "enemy" that lies in front and you know you can beat him, so this is a big advantage. You are not a floor crumb, you are a person going through difficulties like everybody else here. When i started my reboot almost 22 months ago, I felt like a piece of shit, my self esteem was down the ground and felt that life had no sense any longer. I felt trapped, lost, with not a reason to stay alive. My reboot was painful, I suffered a lot, but this was a journey of self discovery. 22 months later I am a new man, not perfect, but proud of what I have accomplished. During the first months of reboot, when my brain started to get clearer and the "fog' was living me, I started remembering that my addiction to PMo (and male escorts, and random hook ups) started when I was sexually molested in the school restroom when i was 10 by older kids. My brain hide this behind the addictions 40 years because I felt too guilty. I could have become a victim, using this episode to keep PMOing and complaining about my shitty life. But I chose not to do that, and fight instead. It is your call, you are too young to lower your arms and quit fighting. It is a big step if you can understand what is triggering your urges, because this will allow you to be awake and kill those urges as soon as they appear. I recommend you to create your own "Emergency Toolbox" with readings that can be handy to read when you start feeling urges to screw up. I can share this post with you with my own Emergency Toolbox, it helped me a lot during the first few months, i had them in my cell and read them every time I started falling down: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...y-first-320-days-of-reboot.62938/#post-473978 I wrote some tips in this post that perhaps will help you too: http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips-that-helped-me-to-start-my-reboot.46617/#post-330318 You can watch some interesting videos which are also very helpful in this post: http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...t-help-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/page-2 I also suggest you to read "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins, it is a must-read if you are serious about getting rid of this addiction. Last but not least, I would strongly recommend you to take the NoFap Academy course if you can afford it. The course is great but the best value are the weekly video calls with @alexander (the creator of NoFap and NoFap Academy) and Mark Queppet, where you can chat with them in real life and listen to other guys's stories and problems too. I hope that all this helps you to fight this shitty addiction. Let's keep on fighting Fercho
I really appreciate you, man. The name Floor Crumb came from my nihilistic beliefs haha anyway, porn isn't my worst addiction. I definitely struggle with drugs much more. Abstaining from pmo has honestly been pretty easy for me since I've done it before. I've been through a bad benzo withdrawal that lasted a month, so I've dealt with much worse things But anyway, I'm doing well and will continue to fight. I'll never stop. I love the concern everyone has on here for everyone. Very refreshing.
