I associated the use of porn for me failing my tests. I failed those tests for two times (you give those tests once a year. These are for medical education in India) and I have a feeling that until I don't get clean from porn, I will keep on failing. I am so depressed these days please help. How do I focus my attention towards my studies when I keep on relapsing almost every day.
You need to identify why you are relapsing, then find a solution that prevents you from doing it. That might mean any number of things, from just being mindful of what transpires that gets you to give into your urges, to seeking therapy for addiction. I've led a pretty successful life as a porn addict, but I would say it's probably held me back from being more successful. During this reboot process I've had some good days and bad days (in terms of mental clarity and my ability to execute and not procrastinate on stuff). Most of the bad days were the negative side effects of having so much more "free" time (i.e. time I filled with PMO is now time I have to find something to do). It turns out I've been mostly doing more work, more chores, better hygiene, etc. A lot of positive life benefits from not using porn. But all that being said, life has its ups and downs and when we stop using porn, we feel/see those ups and downs more acutely. We need to learn how to handle regular, real life emotions like a regular, real life person again, because we've spent a lot of time avoiding those emotions through porn use. You need to commit to quitting in your heart. And probably not just for 30, 60 or 90 days. You absolutely CAN succeed. You have all the power here. Take control and own it!
