Hi guys, I'm new here. I'm 26 and have been happily married for almost three years. I love my wife and I find her very attractive but I can't shake myself free from sexual desires and fantasies of certain kinds. This is getting in the way of having an enjoyable, healthy sex life. I hit puberty hard, in some respects but I developed sexually a little later. I went to an all boys school also, so had limited contact with women. I had a couple of casual non sexual relationships but nothing major until i started going out with my now wife. I have no regrets marrying her, but I feel like part of my teenage brain is still ticking! Like most guys I spent a lot of my teens years on the internet discovering all kinds of crazy shit! I quit 'porn' defined as watching people having sex with each other years ago as I just lost interest in it. But found myself full blown addicted to chat websites like chat roulette, omegle etc. It took a lot but i broke that addiction. But my teenage brain is still ticking! I find myself plagued by desires to fool around with teenage girls, even to spy on them, watch them get changed and the like. silly teenage stuff I never experienced! I caught one of my neighbours getting changed a few months back and the image won't leave me alone, I'm constantly peaking out the window to see if she's there. I don't want these rather perverse desires bothering me but to fully enjoy my wife. I'm hoping this site can help me! Cheers
Hey, welcome! It's great to hear that you identify these things as a problem. That's definitely the first step in solving your issue. I'm not sure if your a believer but this is what works for me. I speak to God through prayer and ask him to help me with things I can't do on my own, you already know these thoughts are bad and could possibly hurt your relationship. Think of these thoughts as an enemy, trying to attack your mind and hurt you and your wife. Imagine that those thoughts aren't truly yours, replace them with what your heart truly desires which is a healthy relationship with your wife. Anyways, glad you joined this site for some help! Peace.
cheers for the reply, I am a Christian yes. and that plays a big part in all of this. thanks for the tips. I will try that out!
Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and not judge you. I would suggest that you join the group Christian Fapstronauts who will encourage you through prayer and scripture. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
Thanks brother for the heads up, have joined the group. I think i'm at a funny stage where I've beat the worst of it, i.e. i struggle a few time a month or so, rather than more frequently like I used to. But this easily leads to complacency. something will catch my eye, and gradually it builds up and I don't know how else to relieve the pressure than to sort it out myself.
I am still fighting these fantasies as well. They suck and am trying to get rid of them. I have a link to my journal in my signature and on the last page there is a link to another thread about fantasies. It may help. Stay strong.
