help, penis looks all veini

Hi everyone.

I have tried a few reboots here before and failed and returned back to my addiction after a few weeks.

I started at 11 and most Ive ever gone no PM or O was a month when I was 20, and I experienced the first ever wet dream of my life. I have never had another one since and typically the best amount of time Ive gone without is a week at a time.

In the last few years (I am 29, nearly 30) PMO stopped satusfying me enough so I started having to do it twice in a row with short rest in between. Due to life stress I think I have even more of a death grip than before.

Last year penis went vein-ey but after a week rest it disappeared. Now its come back and it looks really bad and even going weeks at a time not doing anything isnt making it go away. I use to have a large strong healthy penis and I am worried that years of abuse finally took its toll and I have done permenant dammage and got some sort of varricous veins or something. It looks awful, PMO hurts. Even if I go a whole week not doing it, its still sore and week. I managed to go a week not PMO and finally PMOd twice I think on Tuesday or Wednesday. After that I have been clean again until today.

I am going to officially start my reboot from now (Friday 10th of Feb) but I really hope to God that after a while my penis returns to normal. Also I strongly advise those with addictions, it will catch up on you. I was one of the first generation with easy access to porn and a big addiction from a young age. I went through years of suffering with ED during sex and lost the chance to have sex with many beautiful women. I am married now with kids and can get hard for my wife but went through a prostitution addiction phase before and now I am highly addicted to PMO still even though its killing me and it feels sore when I do it but I still do it anyway. Its highly addictive like the behavour of a gambler or druggie.

Hope to gain success using this forum and take back control of my life. Hope we can all benefit from each other here. Thanks

 

thank you. my current strategy is to keep looking at my penis because there is nothing motivating me more than seeing what was once a big full strong healthy penis looking all mashed up. it has scared me into PMOing a LOT less. I stopped for a week, relapsed tuesday night wednesday morning, and been clean again till now

 

thanks IGY.

I shoud also add part of my strategy is to use the application for my ipad called brain buddy

 

caved in last night and PMOd. have to start again today

 

Sometimes I watch porn and convince myself i wont MO. 10 seconds later I MO lol. So prob not edging was one of my mistakes. Also I need to keep foocus on my physical injuries as nothing has m otivated me more to give up than seeing my peni smaller and vein-ey and damaged