I'm really not talking here about porn/nudity related ones. I'm talking about the more mundane ones... Things that you are obsessed with that are just a normal part of everyday life that most people wouldn't blink an eye at. For me, my fetishes were never porn induced (I'm probably the odd duck here in that porn repulses me). I can say with certainty that my fetishes were present from the time I was young boy, probably no older than 5 or 6 years of age, and perhaps even younger. Of course, these took on a whole new dimension when I entered puberty (i was blissfully unaware of sex of any type in childhood). I thought I was odd until discovering on the internet others who had similar "interests". Hopefully some of you can relate with what I am saying. For those of you who can, do you think there is a difference between this and porn? Does anyone have any idea why these fetishes manifested themselves in childhood? Why is my brain wired this way? Any suggestions on how best to combat the temptations in daily life, whether on the internet, or seeing things and playing the tapes back in your head? I want to beat "FMO", but I am weak. Chronic illness doesn't help things. Thanks in advance.
It's really hard to answer your questions since I have no idea what these fetishes you are talking about are? You mention "these fetishes" but you don't say what they are.
I have delved into lighter fetishes here and there over the years. The one thing in common is that in some way they are taboo or have some minor shock value to society at large. I don't think there was ever any "normal" appreciation for them by my waking, non-horny self, which goes to show that it really is the thrill of the shock value that drives my attraction toward them. I can be completely unaroused and feeling non-sexual and still know that there is a very strong affinity I have for an attractive woman. But unless I'm aroused, the fetishes I've got into here and there are completely unappealing. None of these developed until after I began PMOing to vanilla at around 13 though. I don't really have any recommendations, except to not indulge them and to not think about them. I had a particular fetish I was into from probably 14-19, and now it doesn't appeal to me whatsoever. I just kind of moved on from it and got bored of it, I suppose.
Fetishes are not necessarily a bad thing. If they are mundane and not especially dark, you may wish to continue with them. Generally, fetishes that pre-exist porn, do not tend to go. But do they distress you in any way?
This will be a bit long.... I can relate to what u r saying. regarding fetishes.a major reason about my Hard mode fight is to overcome fetishes in particular And porn in general .as you said even I had these variety of mild sexual fetishes from an age of 8 ,9 yrs. the reasons may be numerous..like some mental trauma ,abuse..at a very early age,over domineering strict parents,lack of letting emotions to flow at a very early age,a very high imaginative novelty seeking mind,a shy person unable to express,extreme frustration due to being physically disabled to some extent(I am not disabled),cerebrel narcissist whose castle of pride shatters and ego starts to identify to his weak or strong (as the case may be ) somatic narcissist counterpart and feeds on porn,imagination.etc or genetic disorder transmitted from parents or..even from ones great.or great..great grandparents that had remained dormant and had manifested in you..or...Something off topic ...if you believe in the occult.. like some past life karmic.debt that the soul needs to experience and then move on..as you see I have had childhood with around 90 percent of the above causes..but the fetish remained dormant..in me.since 13 yrs of extreme fapping to porn many times a day...but the novelty kept on getting more deviant..but things started getting out of control from 2012,when my failures in life increased rapidly ..my fetish desire also seemed to follow that pattern from once extremest form of horrible saddism to most disgusting form of masochism...coupled with drinking ,smoking.weed,hash..and I hit a rock bottom ..i me tried to quit 2 yrs ago started soft mode..relapsed around 45 times..to the most disgusting porn and erotic literature imaginable ..all relapses due to mind tricking me to edge..believe me if there were an world edging competition I would have fancied myself .I had gone as far as edging for 10 consecutive days ,sleeping 12 hrs a day and edging like there's no tomorrow for about 90 percent of mine waking state for weeks ..till my foreskin and penis flesh started shedding skin like a snake..Jan 16 2017 reached rock bottom after an entire night from alcohol ,weed poisoning..HARD mode started since..17 JAN and going strong..all sorts of emotion are surging up that I never felt properly earlier..it's a long list of emotions which I am feeling and fighting without fapping..it's not about reboot or 90 or 100 days. .the entire conscious and subconscious. needs to be sorted. This time the fight is really on..hope this article might help you.or any one I tried to keep it as short as possible can write about it all day..take care be strong...and. If you r into it MEDITATE..
I think I understand what you're saying. (Disclaimer: I'm not a therapist, so take it for whatever its worth) What I've read, is while gender roles don't clarify themselves until puberty, the idea of sexual pleasure can be present at birth. (There are anecdotal pics of fetus rubbing their button). This means that while you can't necessarily orgasm, and definitely can't you ejaculate, children can still realize they have genitals and that they feel good. (Don't feak, I'm not a pedophile, and don't believe children should have sexual partners). Fetishes arise when we form an emotional association between that pleasure and some object, attribute of people, or actions. This can happen in childhood, without any undue tragedy or damage having occurred. For instance, united states men have shown a remarkably higher interest in female breast than the rest of the world. There are many world demographics that don't sexualize breast, because both men and women have nipples, and they see women only having them to 'nurture'. To those parts of the world, we in the US have a breast fetish. And if you know any young boys, you will know that they didn't have to wait until teenage years before they were fascinated by them. (LOL) It's just something that they are exposed to in this environment (a message that is inferred), and becomes part of their sexuality. (Is fetish as bad as porn?) Despite the message you might have received, Porn nor Fetishes are necessarily bad or good. Porn can give the wrong idea that certain actions or attributes are desirable (but lets not go there at the moment). The main issue falls in the area of impulse control. Many of us turn to porn because we feel there is a wall between us and our sexual needs. Either we don't know how to acquire a sexual partner, have difficulties communicating our needs, feel too vulnerable to explore what our needs actually are, don't know how to compromise to stay in sync with our partners needs, or have unfullfilled needs because we feel it's wrong to pursue them. Some us know how, but stop trying. In those cases, porn still isn't a bad thing. The problems come when we start to over use Porn to constantly comfort us, and not address the issues. In those cases, it stops being about sexual pleasure, and becomes more emotional stability. It becomes our go to activity whenever stressed, and our method of relaxing to get to sleep, and our method of waking up to get out of bed. It's at that point that we find ourselves masturbating at the office, or missing important obligations. That is when all the sex starts to take a toll, and while ejaculation might happen orgasms aren't satisfying (or don't happen). We also feel drained, and emotionally guilty and less worthy. We feel it holds us back in the bedroom with our partner, and our relationships in total. Again the point of this is a lack of impulse control, and the harm it's taking on us emotionally, physically, and the feelings of our loved ones. Fetishes are the same. If you don't feel it's harming anyone, and your partner are happy, and you feel no guilt are distance because you have them, then there isn't an issue to pursue here. (Ways to avoid it?) When you are overstimulated, then anything can remind you. Clouds, your coffee cup, etc. The idea of the reboot is to avoid completing the reward cycle, and putting some distance between you and the stimulation. If the association is new, this gives you a chance for the images to fade, and you to process what it means. If the association is old, this give you a chance to regain your impulse control (as well as let the body heal). Unfortunately, if the association is old, there is no way to 'unlearn it'. Therapy in these cases focuses on the reasons you felt compelled, and on exercises with your partner to possibly learn new ways to find the same level of pleasure and better communicate your needs and how to effectively reach compromises. One of the best ways to change a pattern of behavior is to replace it with some other activity. It should be something that you enjoy so that you don't feel you are delaying your gratification (starving yourself). In this meditation isn't some spiritual mumbo jumbo. There is hard science that says that it helps the brain chemistry normalize, as well as makes you more aware of your emotions and motivations. With a little practice it can produce some profound feelings of relaxation and restfulness. (with as little as 10 minutes a day). Exercise doesn't have to be painful grunting in the gym. It can also be a casual walk or a bike ride. (But if you do join a gym, getting a personal trainer to hold your hand is awsome!) Anything that puts you in a social group setting to relax with new and old friends (cooking classes, sports clubs, try 'meetup.com' to see whats available in your area). For those that that need more help, there is no shame in getting a therapist. A good therapist won't judge you, but instead help you with ways that you can address your negative feelings, and possible ways to gain better impulse control.
^ I guess you have never watched Benny Hill? Safe to say some people in Britain like large breasts, in fact, I think it's safe to say that for all of Europe. In Asian nations, the women tend to have small breasts, but breast implants are not popular over there because women like to have back problems. Someone or some animal touching its genitals does not mean they are doing it for pleasure or are getting pleasure from it. Surely with a masturbation porn addiction, you've come to realize that addictions, the sex drive, and compulsion are not all about "pleasure"? Sex is an instinct. You don't see most animals having sex outside of when a female is in heat and they don't masturbate. They just have sex out of an instinctual compulsion would be the best guess. Humans have that same drive, although probably not as strong, and it can get all kinds of twisted.
Rea Read it 1974 Fetishes enjoyment with mutual consent ..is ok. even without a partner..is ok unless rapid escalation and obsession sets in..it's like some smoke or drink the whole life yet are quite healthy..and not a slave to addiction..but all r not same...and as far as meditation is concerned it's helping me ,I have been researching on all forms of yoga ..since last 4 yrs..put started practicing the basic steps since only a month ago..it's helping. By the u from US..Sir..
(LOL) True, big breasts aren't unique to USA. I also respect the fact any generalization of sexual preferences is usually wrong. But on the humorous side, I did have a friend from Germany, he use to say to me all the time "You America guys and breasts.... in Germany the idea of a perfect breast could fit in a martini glass, here in the USA, your idea of the perfect breast could clog a toilet".
