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The beginning of the end...

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Hawkeye71, Jan 20, 2017.

  1. Jan 20, 2017 #1
    Hawkeye71

    Hawkeye71 New Fapstronaut

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    ...I hope.

    I want to end the ways masturbation and porn have taken over my life.

    Background basics: 45 years old, male, heterosexual, married but getting divorced, father of two.

    After countless attempts to climb this mountain on my own, I'm getting help. Started seeing a therapist who's understanding, resourceful, and rigorous. Listened to podcasts, watched videos, read books and endless articles.

    I've struggled for years and years. The wedge it drove between me and my wife is plain as day to me now, and I can see clearly how it blocked intimacy and isolated us from each other. Nearly a quarter century thrown away.

    This is central to rebuilding my life as I face divorce. I fear that the long days and nights I'll spend alone will lead to an escalation of frequency, duration, etc until I'm totally broken. And I miss real intimacy - not just sexual - which I know I'll never experience again if I continue on the path that got me here.

    There's a lot more, but that's enough for tonight. I look forward to learning and sharing and racking up some small wins. The generosity I've seen in the few threads I've read is remarkable. Thank you.
     
    Hawkeye71, Jan 20, 2017
    Hawkeye71, Jan 20, 2017
    #1
    i_wanna_get_better1 and D . J . like this.
  2. Jan 21, 2017 #2
    D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and not judge you.
     
    D . J ., Jan 21, 2017
    D . J ., Jan 21, 2017
    #2
  3. Jan 21, 2017 #3
    douggie1962

    douggie1962 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to Your New Beginning.

    This is YOUR recovery and you must own it. You may be familiar with other addiction recovery programs. The first 90 days of these programs require meeting everyday for the first 90 days of recovery. I suggest visiting and contributing to NoFap each of your first 90 days. Glean wisdom from the strong, encourage the new, and be wary of those who are negative and make excuses. Add the words of your struggle to those of others and help create this wonderful narrative of transformation. I have made my NoFap time a replacement for all web surfing and social media. Be wary of depending on technology like counters and web filters. Understand that the battle is between your ears more so than between your legs. Each time you are tempted to go to that foul place, you must remember the man you are working to become, and then choose to be in control. Do not allow porn to steal another second of your life.

    Invictus
    William Ernest Henley, 1849 - 1903
    Out of the night that covers me,
    Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
    I thank whatever gods may be
    For my unconquerable soul.

    In the fell clutch of circumstance
    I have not winced nor cried aloud.
    Under the bludgeonings of chance
    My head is bloody, but unbowed.

    Beyond this place of wrath and tears
    Looms but the Horror of the shade,
    And yet the menace of the years
    Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

    It matters not how strait the gate,
    How charged with punishments the scroll,
    I am the master of my fate:
    I am the captain of my soul

    Be Strong my Friend.
     
    douggie1962, Jan 21, 2017
    douggie1962, Jan 21, 2017
    #3

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