Hi Guys, I have been trying to give up PMO for a few years now, I've had my good days and my bad days, it all alternates. Over the past few years my longest streak has been a month and a half. Currently I'd say im in my worst days. Im 29yo and been PMO since I was 14. I didnt even know that there was such thing as porn addiction til about a year ago, before I found that out I thought I had bipolar disorder but yeah its definitly porn addiction and not bipolar and since I found that out alot of things make sense now. This past year I've been trying extra hard to overcome this addiction. Its far from easy but I'm taking the proactive approach and no matter how many times I relapse and lately I've been relapsing alot, I never give in, I keep trying. Signed up to NoFap less than a month ago and have been reading everyones posts and honest its been a real big help seeing everyone elses insights and knowing that im not alone in this. This is my first post and just before I relapsed. So starting fresh from today. Hope you guys can support me and yeah for sure I'll try my best to be a support for you guys too. I've always been a bloke that likes doing things for himself, independant you know without being cocky. When it comes to this PMO business im realising i need abit of support.
Hey man, welcome. I'm also 29, and have been using porn for a long time (since around 13-14). I didn't even realize how crippling my addiction was until just a few months ago. I lurked the subreddit for a few months, then came over here. I must say that the support here compared to the subreddit is just phenomenal, though it has been helpful at times as well. You made a good choice. I know relapsing can be tough to recover from, but just focus on today. Focus on making it to bedtime with a clear conscience. Then tomorrow, focus on that day. I try not to think of where I'll be 30 days from now, or 60 days or a year, as it's just not effective to me. I make sure I plan my days with as much activity as possible outside of work, and I stick with those plans. If you fill your days with positive activity that makes you feel proud and happy, then there is less downtime to feel lonely or close to relapse. Keep your mind busy. It sounds like you already have the right mindset of not beating yourself up too badly, but now, make a plan to get your through today. Some suggestions: 1. Exercise (can be anything, going for a walk, lifting, jogging, whatever) 2. Plan your meals for the week and eat better 3. Read a book (can be whatever interests you - reading can be tough to get into if you don't do it regularly, but is definitely helpful to stimulate your brain in better ways and rebuild healthy neural connections) 4. Creative Recreation (not sure if you consider yourself creative, but music and art are huge helps for me) 5. Listen to/watch TED talks (tons of TED videos that are inspirational and full of knowledge; never watched one? look them up) 6. Meditation (you'll see this one thrown around a lot, because meditation is SUCH a good way to tap into the wellspring of positivity that's within you and became more mindful, loving and grateful) 7. Keep a journal (you can make a diary on here, as I've seen some people do, or you can keep a personal one; write out your thoughts, whether by hand or on a computer, and if you can, try to keep the things you write in a positive light, even if your day wasn't that great; resolve yourself to not write ANYTHING negative about yourself, only positive) Also, I would try and take some serious time to notice what your triggers are for relapse (if you can), and then write them down in front of you, and write out what you're going to do to attempt to avoid those triggers. Writing it out and making a plan is super helpful. I got rid of social media almost entirely for my detox. Internet in general can be a VERY dangerous place to navigate. Apps like k9 can help with this. Good luck bro! Feel free to PM me anytime you want. We're in this together.
Thanks yeah for sure i'll take the offer, by the way how have you been going with your recovery so far?
Thanks for the message and suggestions. Yeah before i came here I checked out subreddit but found this to be more useful for me at least. I've tried a whole lot of different ways to overcome this addiction. I've tried getting rid of the internet at home and on my smartphone. Couldnt go without internet at home because of work commitments so joined it back up again, but i don't use a smartphone anymore, can't handle having internet access 24/7, trigger times 10. I've tried using k9 and other internet filters but just didnt work for me. Yeah exercise helps alot Reading Football and basketball Going out with mates Socialising and meeting new people. Been doing some renovations around the house Just keeping busy and productive when off from work I've noticed the only thing I havnt been doing is talking to anyone about my addiction. I just been keeping it to myself. Thats what I want to change and hopefuly it makes a good difference. I've started up training at the gym again a few days ago (I stopped going a few months ago) but man it makes a big defference and looking to start up boxing again in the near future, use to train for boxing few years ago, yeah just sorting out and making a good solid daily routine, got to be SOLID. Yeah likewise im right here too . .. Gotta stick together to beat this
You sound like a solid dude with his head on straight, and most of us are. We're making the right choice by coming here and telegraphing our journeys. Let's face it - this isn't the easiest addiction or problem to speak of or admit to IRL. This is the best place to do it. It sounds like you got a good plan, now just make sure that free time is accounted for. If you have time to fap, you have time to do all the other things that actually produce positive results in your life. You got this.
