New here, and need help

Hello fellow fapstronauts, i registered here today after jacking of the third time to some disgusting shit. Which still turns me on. But i dont want to be turned on by that. I need help, i just cannot stop. When i am travelling or sth, there is no problem, but when i am at home with laptop and internet-access, i am lost. I am 35 and have been desensitizing myself the last 20+ years. I NEED to stop that shit. I have a social life, and also sexual encounters, but i think i loose the ability to enjoy sex with a nice woman, or the woman i should fall in love with, and fantasize about [TRIGGERchoking her throat with my dick after pulling it out of her assTRIGGER] instead. I have to laugh right now about this last sentence but it is sad actually, and still harmless comparing to other fetishes i developed. I think i am sick sometimes, but then i read about some experiences here and i feel relieved in the way that i am not alone with that shit, and that it might be not my brain that is sick, but that learned sick through years of porn. I said to myself 1 million times in the last years that i won't do it anymore. And always do it again. How do i start here?

 

Hello D.J., thank you for your reply. I don't know. Have to start a journal i guess... If i could just destroy my porn collection and not collect new ones, maybe, just maybe it would be easier. But with this goddamn internet you don't even need a porn collection. ... I also thought about visiting a psychologist, but i am also quite ashamed of what i jack off to sometimes. The one thing i realised is that i won't quit alone just with will power or deciding to quit, it just does not work. I need help. Even writing my first messages here feels like some huge step for me ..

 

Thanks a lot D.J. ... much information to gather, that helps.. for today i am save i guess will start a journal soon..

 

Thanks ASmitty, started a journal one minute ago I try this with this community, will install a website blocker and try to make new habits. Meditation i did and i know how good it does me, not just concerning nofap. Want to make it a habit again. If it all does not work out i will consult a psychologist too. But for now this is my first serious try in quitting, and with serious i mean, although anonymous, not totally alonge, and with doing a journal here and likeminded people with similar problems. Thanks for you 0.02 cents, it is mor like 20,00 dollars for me right now

 

Started a journal..

https://nofap.com/forum/index.php?t...n-after-coming-back-to-it-for-20-years.85931/