I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to write. I am a 20 year old male brought up in a Christian home, raised to be respectful of women and mindful of what i set my eyes on. And yet here I am. I remember the day this whole thing started. It started with a damn painting i saw when i was 12. Every day i'd go on my computer and stare at the damn thing. Next was porn. After that i figured out how to wank. Next I got obsessed with dating websites (around 16 or so) and flirting/sexting. Now here i am, twenty years young expected to marry and be loyal to one woman and i'm addicted to online flirtin/sexting and masturbation. I've gotten to the point where sometimes ill do it for hours on end and my head will start to hurt but i'll just keep going. As i am writing this my head feels like it is going to explode. And i dont know what to do. I'm an irresponsible pathetic excuse of an adult. And worst of all? I rarely can find the ambition to stop. Right now i'm freshly "satisfied" and can think with a clear (but sore) head. Help. Please. I can never find a good mature relationship if i keep this up. I'm pouring my heart out on reddit of all places so you can tell i'm desperate. lol So there's that.
Hahaha! When I saw your name, I thought - he has GOT to be English, lol. When I came here, I found you are American. That just shows you the fallacy of assumption! Seriously, you do sound as if you are really drowning in porn and masturbation. You have definitely come to the right place. Only you can change you, of course. But you will find all the support you need here. I have never found a place so non-judgemental. People talk about their sexual orientation, the genres of porn that find enticing and use, yet disgusting afterwards. So, look around and speak freely. If I may suggest that you get a counter (just click on mine). It will keep you motivated and will show your progress.
The name is intended to sound like a rich snooty brit xD And I got one shortly after posting I also applied to the accountability section. Porn isn't as big as it used to.. Ill look occasionally. But I fear it has been replaced with something much worse which involves me dragging down another person to my level. Sexting ugh. Porn never quite did it for me. It was never personal enough.. And I guess that is what gets me off better. And I hate it. Oh lord I hate it. But I love it. And that scares me... I am a very manipulative person, and my greatest victim is my own mind. I've developed a . "Resistance" of sorts to feeling motivated to stop.. Because whenever I do I just fall down again. Ugh. Thanks for taking the time to reply.
would you say that you are still religious? if so pray that God might give you the clarity of mind to Know that pleasure is not what you live for I truly believe in the God Christianity and I know it has helped me in my journey. stay strong! if you need encouragement or advice or a fellow christian to talk to in box me! STAY Strong!
You are welcome Sir, It would be true to say that most of us here have some sort of resistance to feeling motivated to stop looking at porn and masturbating. We also have this paradox of love and hate. We love the sexual stimulation and feeling culminating in orgasm, but we hate what we have done when we look back on it. It is very harsh to say about yourself that you are very manipulative. Though, maybe we all are to some extent in order to get what we want (sexually). It seems the penny hasn't dropped, so let me say this: sexting IS porn. The dictionary defines it as, (1) writings, pictures, films, etc, designed to stimulate sexual excitement; and (2) the production of such material http://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/pornography
Religious? I don't like that word. But yes I am a christian. And i may just do that[: Thank you for your words of encouragement.
No I understand. I only meant that it is a different type of sexual stimulation. And that it includes another person d: If anything I almost feel like its worse/: And Zniki I believe it was one of the paintings of Venus... Ha.
