I am new here so I don't know all of the lingo but.... So a little background. I have been addicted to P and M for 17 years. I just recently found a girlfriend and I divulged to her my issue. She is very supportive and is helping me stay accountable. We are both abstinent for religious reasons. I actually find myself craving sex with her like crazy. The temptations are almost overwhelming. Luckily, she has an aversion to sex because of past sexual abuse by multiple men. I have been free from any porn for 10 days now and I am wondering if anyone can tell me how long the cravings will last for or how long it may take for my brain to recover back to a healthy state?
It's going to vary from person to person. Many use the 90 day mark as a milestone. The craving for sex is natural and will be there, especially since you are dating someone and have been used to seeing a woman you like (P) and having a sexual release afterwards (MO). Having dealt with PMO for 17 years and now going to zero is a crash course for your mind and body to take. Don't get me wrong, it's not a bad choice to make but it is a huge change in behavior. I would suggest taking one day at a time not not looking too far down the road. I don't know which religious faith you have but in the Christian faith there is a Bible verse (Matthew 6:34) that reads, So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Too many guys struggle with one week and master small amounts first. Congratulations for making it through 10 days without P! Is your sobriety for MO the same?
Thanks! I am LDS Christian. Yes, all of it PMO cold turkey. 10 full days and now. I think I am beginning to realize I am getting the depression withdrawal symptom. The goal we are working on is 4 weeks (28 days) which would be twice the length that I have ever been without PMO. She helps a lot. I think the majority of my addiction is caused by a craving for intimacy and companionship which she gives me. The only thing I don't get is the sexual release which I think is good but harder than pulling teeth. It may be hard but I just want to get it over with. I find that the thought of having sex with her is really good motivation for me and helps me to not crave Porn. One problem is that I find myself comparing her to other girls that are pretty. I can't seem to be satisfied and I am pretty sure that is a symptom from my PMO habit because I can't really focus on one video, girl or photo when I am indulging. I really want that to go away. It's incredibly frustrating.
"One problem is that I find myself comparing her to other girls that are pretty." Bit of a self-help-y-ish idea here, what about like, writing out (and HIDE them from her!!!) appreciation lists about the things about HER you DO find pretty. And spend a little bit of time thinking about that. You want to have sex with her, WHY? There must be something about her that attracts her to you, what are those things?
