Hello guys. So lately this girl has started showing up at the gym I've gone to for 8 years. And my problem is that she has the hottest body I've seen irl. She keeps disturbing my focus and made me relapse twise. I do my best not to look at her but my eyes wander away. I told my girlfriend about this just so she knows because she's there with me at the gym. Shes ok with me looking but this girl. All I end up doing when I look at her is relapsing. And yes she is probably stronger than me. I've fantasized about talking to her and arm wrestle her, i've even joked about that last one with my girlfriend. BAD CALL! That was my first relapse. I am not going to lie, I have a huge crush on her and I do fancy her. Alot. But I am engaged and I truly love my girlfriend. How do I control this. Even if it becomes so bad that she starts talking to me etc. I really need you guys, please help? I feel like I'm out of control. How or what do I do to generalize her?
Maybe trying thinking of her as an actual person instead of an object. She is there to work out just like you. "She keeps disturbing my focus and made me relapse twise." uhhh nope. She isn't doing anything to you. Take responsibility for yourself. "and I do fancy her. Alot." once again: uhhhhh nope. You don't even know this person, you are just ogling her while she is trying to use the gym and projecting on to her. Sorry if this comes off harsh, but it's the truth. Women aren't out in public for your entertainment. I guarantee you she couldn't care less that some random creeper at the gym thinks she's "hot". She is just a person going about her business.....
Yes sorry, I knew I was being harsh when I posted it, but the way you were writing just had that "I am not really responsible for my own actions" addict type vibe..... There is no possible way to move past any addiction, unless you are truly honest with yourself and realize that you ARE in control of your choices and actions. Goodluck
Have you thought about: Changing your gym time/days? Going to a different gym? Telling your fiancé to punch you every time you look? Putting on a blindfold? Facing a different direction? Strapping electrodes to your nads and letting your fiancé hold the zapper?
Though fuzzywaz gave a harsh delivery, I agree with the message. You gotta own it bro. It's you, not her. And that is one hell of an understanding fiancée you have. My wife would have thrown a 20lb plate at my head for ogling some gym hottie. Maybe you should redirect: when Gym Hottie comes in, think about your lady, the one who is supporting you and being incredibly patient. And focus on those gains bro, not some random lady's body. If your looking at the scenery you're not working out--you're a tourist. F O C U S!
I like that type of girl too. So I get it. I have relapsed from seeing a chick at work in the parking lot with great calves. Look, just resume your schedule. This is about living your life. We are going to have triggers all the time. Just look at her as a real person if you can, maybe go with your girlfriend and encourage her to work out hard. I had a female fitness/muscle fetish that ruined any natural sex drive with my ex. Please learn from me. Hope I helped some.
That is not going to deal with the issue at hand though, what if there is an even hotter chick at the gym during different times? what if he changes gym and there is even hotter chicks hotter than the first girl? refer to the post above for the best optimal solution, which is working on yourself
Absolutely. I just need to figure out how to handle it. Thing is, depending on when i get home and how much my girl wants to cuddle before the gym drastically changes the time when I'm there. Usually its somewhat the same hours but it fully depends on where I'm working that day. I am trying my best to learn from those mistakes and myself. She joins me in the gym almost every time. Thanks man!
Coo Cool. Yeah, bring her along, it sometimes just takes some willpower. I know that is a dirty word but I view willpower as a backup emergency battery pack. When your support system is down, you may just have to go old fashioned strength of the will. May not work every time but it is better than nothing.
Just imagine your girlfreind crushed on the hottest bodybuilder in the gym. What actions would you like her to take? And do it yourself.
Is your girlfriend vanilla or is she more open minded? Maybe if she is open to it, both of you can start chatting with this lady and maybe all of you can roll around together. I think that being honest with your girlfriend is a good idea. What's the point of hiding your attraction to her and later getting caught in a lie or in a more compromising situation? Maybe your girlfriend is hot over some guy and would be willing to trade (as you, you roll around with her and this crush and then you roll around with your girl and her crush.) Its probably a little unrealistic to assume everyone is open to this sort of thing but you never know. It is 2016... I guess if she isn't open to it, you can keep on fantasizing about the girl at the gym and just accept that you won't ever be able to pursue her. There are always going to be temptations, especially after you get married.... or if you feel that your bond is not that strong with your current partner, you could break it off and go explore with your crush. You have a lot of different options but I think the first two are probably the best. Good luck. Maybe