Don't count the days, make the days count

This is a long message, but its the story of my journey so far. I tried my best not to include triggers but forgive me if I did. If you see something I can change, please let me know, and I will edit. Thank you and hope this will help somebody.


I am currently 23 and have had pied for about 4 years (only recently regaining my erection). Reason I've had it for so long, is because I didn't know P could even be addictive and that I could get disfunction from it. There were many instances with one night stands when i couldn't get "it" up, and even a couple relationships but I always thought it was just performance anxiety. At one point, I was with my girlfriend of 3 months and it became a big problem, so we went to the doctor and I even got prescribed blue pills. Not even this helped, I lost my relationship and became severely depressed, still watching P, because I didn't know that was the reason at the time. So one day last March I was browsing videos on youtube and saw Gabe's videos. I didn't immediately realize that P was a problem, but I decided to give it a shot, and so I tried to quit. Woah, that was the most difficult thing EVER, I don't think I lasted 2 days before relapse. And then another, another, I tried everything, cold showers, leaving the house on urges, physical activity on urges, talking with other people about it, setting a days counter but everything I tried had an expiry date on it. until one day, I decided not to just change my life, but to change my lifestyle. I realized that the main reason I was getting so many urges, and was therefore so hard to quit, was because I wasn't changing anything else in my life, I was spending a lot of time online 5+ hours daily, my room was a mess, I hadn't exercised in years, I used to work on art, but I had given it up, and I didn't have any focus or goals, everything I did was based on doing things for a short term reward (and usually the easier option). So, for the first time on my journey, I flipped all my habits, not just one of them. I deleted all the access I had to sites ( like history, accounts I had on said sites, youtube likes, yes even soft p is still p, basically anything that I would use to trick myself into watching P). In the beginning, I left the internet, about 4-5 days, I forgot about counting the days, and instead, was more focused on making the days count. I only used my phone for texting, calling and checking the time, and turned my data off. For every morning and every night, I did 15 push ups and 25 sit ups, EVERY night, even if I was at someones house, if I was tired, drunk, it didn't matter. Why? To improve my self-discipline. I stopped counting the days, because that no longer mattered, it was my new life, so I didn't care how long it was going to take, I was only focused on recovering. I knew that it might not take 90 days, that it might take longer, but if I relapse then that will only add more time. I began to organise my room daily, because I found that having an organised space changed my environment and therefore changed my habits. Recently I met a girl and told her everything, she was very understanding and this time I made it. I am making art on the daily now, and actually having a show in a month. I got a gym pass and my room is organised. I still get urges, but I suppress them with questions that I ask and answer myself: why do you want to do that? What good would come of that? Will you regret it after? What impact will that have on your future? Write out a list of the things you need to get done in the next couple days, then, pick one of those things to do instead. How long are you going to wait to get better? The answer is now, The day is now, it is your choice, so choose freedom from this addiction, and get a new grip on life.

for reference I am on about day 50, almost 2 months.
If you have any questions about your journey, feel free to send me a message, Ill get back to you as soon as I can.

 

That's so awesome to hear!!! stay strong brother, you don't need that sh*t. again, if you have any questions, give me a hollar!

 

Here are some tips that might help you in your journey, regarding what you need to change about your lifestyle in order to get PMO out of your life.

1. You need to delete all of your history and cookies off your computer internet history, delete your stashes if you have them, accounts on websites if you have them, and basically everything that you can trick yourself into watching P again, without explicitly going to a website.

2. you need to realize that P isn't something you are going to "try" to get rid of, you need to have the marathon mentality. you are quitting, and you need to realize that you won't be using it ever again in your life, and honestly, you wouldn't need it if your life was going great.

3. you need to change your environment. So if you are normally watching P on your tv, then change your environment so the set up of the tv so the room has a different organization. If its on your phone that you watch P, then you need to stop using the internet on your phone ( at least for the first few weeks), and only use it for calling, texting and checking the time.

4. You need to take up a new hobby, or perhaps, one you've been doing, but not enough of, such as, making art or playing music, going hiking or something like that. This will be the activity that you will do instead of watching P, and get you on the road to recovery because it will give you natural endorphins which will help you to feel less depressed and distract you from your urges.

Many people report that exercise is a really good one to take up ( like going to the gym), because it adds an element of self discipline, which is really important, because it's helping you to improve yourself and feel more confident about yourself, and also gives you post-workout endorphins that leaves you feeling amazing!!

5. You have to realize that you will always have urges, and it's natural to have them, but you need to learn how to effectively deal with them (your new hobby will help with this). At first they are very strong, and can seem like they will never go away, but don't worry, they will get weaker over time the longer you keep yourself away from P.

6. I would say at least the first 40 days, it's even best to not masturbate, because likely, you have an accociation with P through your masturabation habits as well, at least, that's how it was with me.

7. If you have a partner, it's important that you let them know about your journey, and also note, that the couple of days following having sex with them, you will have very strong urges, but just be aware of that, and it will be okay, you can get through them.

These are just some things that I've learned so far, I think they are really important, and I hope they can help you. if you have any questions, just let me know

 

It is now December and I don't even remember how long it's been, almost three months, maybe more. I would recommend nofap to everyone, it's really a great experience, I've learned a lot. during my reboot I've had multiple wet dreams and my bonkers are now completely back, I feel really great every day I wake up and I love to engage with people. My performance in school is at an all-time high and I'm feeling much happier. I'm going to do another 90 days of hard mode and will report back on my progress. Good luck to everyone else!