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10% passed!

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by PaulBaron, May 19, 2014.

  1. May 19, 2014 #1
    PaulBaron

    PaulBaron Fapstronaut

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    Yheyyy! I'm past 10% of my target.
    During this time I made things harder by diminishing the "legal" ammount of masturbation, and mostly by avoiding thoughts about porn or porn-like situations.
    Every fantasy must be focused on real-life situations. Things I get to feel in real life. Stories of real affection in my head.
    And I'm sad to admit: it's harder this way. I have conditioned my brain to focus my lust on organs. Closeups. I do get some of it in real life, but it's different than porn.

    It has been very hard! Some days I feel like ripping my own skin off in frustration... but I don't surrender because I know that the slightest slip will condition my brain to except slipping. NO WAY! I know what I want, and I won't give up!
    I hope it gets easier with time.

    PLEASE SOMEBODY - TELL IT DOES! :p
     
    PaulBaron, May 19, 2014
    PaulBaron, May 19, 2014
    #1
  2. May 19, 2014 #2
    C-1000

    C-1000 Fapstronaut

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    Come on man!! The key is to control our thoughts and get them away from porn shit.
     
    C-1000, May 19, 2014
    C-1000, May 19, 2014
    #2
  3. May 19, 2014 #3
    Scaramanga

    Scaramanga Fapstronaut

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    My honest answer is that it doesnt, your brain will want that easy quick fix for a long time.
    Ive had multiple streaks of 30-60 days no pmo, and the time I relapse is always when I think its easy.

    Ive learned the hard way that its not easy and whenever I think its easy its just a way for my brain to trick me.
     
    Scaramanga, May 19, 2014
    Scaramanga, May 19, 2014
    #3
  4. May 20, 2014 #4
    PaulBaron

    PaulBaron Fapstronaut

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    Thank's C-1000.

    A question Scaramanga, when you relapse, is is a one time thing, or do you collapse completely.
    I had a streak of around 3 weeks before. But It was different times... I'm much stronger now. When I relapsed it was first a one time thing... then another one... then twice in one session... you get the idea.
    That's why I fear the slightest slip.
    When you pick momentum falling down hill, it's harder to grab the weeds and stop your fall. In the end you finish hitting rock bottom before you can start sisyphicly climbing up again.
     
    PaulBaron, May 20, 2014
    PaulBaron, May 20, 2014
    #4
  5. May 20, 2014 #5
    Scaramanga

    Scaramanga Fapstronaut

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    I usually binge for a couple of days, then get back up on the horse.
    What Ive done since my last relapse is that I try to get to the real cause of the relapses (loneliness etc) which has helped me a lot, now I realize that I have a choice of what to fill that loneliness with so it doesnt automaticaly lead to pmo.
     
    Scaramanga, May 20, 2014
    Scaramanga, May 20, 2014
    #5
  6. May 21, 2014 #6
    PaulBaron

    PaulBaron Fapstronaut

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    Thank's.
    Tonight is especially hard. I was expecting to receive a message from our lovers, and got a bit dissapointed, although I know they are VERY busy, and they did send a nice and special short message yesterday. Still... it's been many weeks since we met, and it's not the sex - it's the romantic longing that's driving me nuts.
    Poliamory can be a bitch.
    So I spent the night skimming polyamory forums, but the answer is not there. I wish I didn't have that cofee so late... oh, so many tiny things. Not so long ago i'd be PMOing all through the night on a day like this. Today - nothing. Was on the verge though. So I'm spilling my frustration here, else I'll relapse.

    Hard fight - the mission is to get to my 120 days clean, on my 1st try. And then extend the period...

    Good luck everybody.
    mmmmmm... NO. Strong will everybody. :)
     
    PaulBaron, May 21, 2014
    PaulBaron, May 21, 2014
    #6

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