Hello I got introduced to sexcams by a major porn video site and wish it never happened. it has been a mostly bad experience since day one but somehow I keep getting back to it. It takes me 2-3 hours to browse through the girls until I decide on one (and think about the ones I miss). most of the time, including the private sessions, I'm not even turned on. during the search and browsing I get excited in a bad way that I have to run to the toilet a couple of times. I know this is messing up my sleep and the days after (since it happens during late night hours), it consumes money I work really hard for, and is not fun. but I forget all about the bad things when it's night i get the urge. so Last Friday I told myself to go through a week without going to those sites, but yesterday (Monday) I had a beer and when I came back home the urge was there and I could not justify not doing it, so again went to sleep at 5:30 am and got separated with another 50$. The emotional background for this could be a messed up break up after a 3 year relationship, and the things that surfaced and are not directly related - feeling profoundly lost and feeling a stranger to myself, and this inner void. I fear this can go out of hand so I'm writing here. Thank you for reading and thank you to the people who keep this community and site going. Also, is there a connection between sexcam abuse and reduced sexual urge?
Hey @Jonathan1979, welcome onboard! Your post is the second step in bettering yourself (and getting rid of your "inner void" in the process). The first one was admitting that what you do is a problem (for yourself). As you are already stating this possibility yourself, I'd say: Probably yes. There's probably a similar connection between those as there is in watching porn and not enjoying real sex anymore (as I, and countless here, have experienced themselves). It just messes with your libido by conditioning your brain to that silly stuff which you see on that screen. By the way, "sexual urge" sounds like a negative term. Your sexuality can actually be a source of power. When you use it the right way. Good luck in making it all okay
John, it's a bad addiction/obsession, and wasting money on this filth on top of it has got to hurt. Those cam sites are expensive! I have spent time on cam sites as well, fortunately, due to being broke and cheap I haven't spent too much money on them, but any money spent there is money wasted. I would often wank to the free cams spending hours going from cam to cam, always bored to tears, wasting time, staying up super late throwing my schedule off or missing sleep altogether. You said it yourself most of the time your not even turned on [ because it gets boring] and this can lead to worse things [ I think they call it the chaser effect] it's hurting your life and health by keeping you from sleep and throwing you off your game. Yet you find yourself doing this, it's a no-brainer quitting this will be beneficial to you. The first thing is to stop masturbating and stop going to these cam sites. Don't feed the sexual addiction by masturbating. You don't want the brain associating cams with the reproductive drive and you getting urges to check out cams. The other thing is you don't want to feed the cam addiction [ dopamine] by looking at cams. After you abstain for awhile it will be easier, and you will see these disgusting habits for what they are, and no longer see them as desirable. You will much more clearly see the negative aspects and realise that the positive was just your imagination [ your mind tricking you]. There are ups and downs. And sometimes you will be tempted. I recently let myself start thinking sexual thoughts, just a little, and sure enough, some temptation has come back. Remember though that the Cons of this disgusting habit outweigh the Pros don't let your mind trick you into believing otherwise.
thank you two very much for responding, you gave me some solid advice and info and it really helps getting feedback from people who share the same experience. and of course it helps posting here and sharing my problem even though a part of me still doesn't recognize this as a problem. headspace - you are right, I will use the term sexual desire instead. and I saw that lecture on TED about porn addiction and got an idea how this messes with my libido and mind. themadfapper - I will stop going to those sites, but should I stop masturbating all together? actually I dont really masturbate other then when going to cam sites and watching porn, and the question is - should I also stop watching porn? I don't really consider my porn habits as an addiction, I usually do it once a week or even once every two weeks, and more often then not it's just not as fun or arousing as it was before so I simply quit after a couple of minutes without masturbating. the alarming addiction symptoms come from cam sites, even now I get a small urge to go there. there were times when I watched porn for hours and pretty often and I'm sure it left it's mark on my brain, but in recent years it has reduced dramatically, the question is am I still suffering from effects caused by massive consumption of porn? should I also quit porn? and go for a reboot?
The problem is if porn isn't exciting you, you might crave the cam sites. Likewise, if you're masturbating you might crave porn and cams. My goal is to stop masturbating altogether, I think it's a terrible and harmful habit, hence why I joined 'nofap'. Regardless what your long term goal is, you said you want to stop with the cams, and to help with that I would recommend stopping both porn and masturbating for at least a few months as I think porn and masturbation are heavily connected to your cam addiction.
sex cams is like the crack cocaine of porn. Searching and browsing creates a continuous flow of dopamine ,and yes, porn surfing takes quality sleep time away from you. The fact that is costs you makes it even nastier, its like you're playing the video-poker machine of porn! Take care of yourself, hang out and reach out. You'll be much better after.
since my last cam usage on Monday I've lost sexual desire (and actually all other desires as well, not sure if it's linked to cams though), so it was pretty "easy" not using cams, watching porn or masturbating. but now I was lying in bed and felt a little sexual desire which then advanced to an urge to go online and find a specific cam girl, that treated me a little rough, played hard to get. so I'm keeping myself a little busy with errands but my mind keeps telling me "it's not that bad to go there one last time, maybe she is online", "it's daytime now so I will not be messing up my sleep" "is it really that bad for me?". so I'm doing more errands and meanwhile succeed in not going there. Besides, while I'm pretty sure I need to stop sex cams, I'm not sure I need to stop porn. damn the urge to go to sex cams now is pretty big
Hey, I would like to say "stay strong", but it's not that simple. You need to spend your time in some other way, otherwise your (old and bad) habits will always catch up with you sooner or later. But it's a good sign that you know the ways your brain is trying to trick you into self-indulgence. You will realize that you need to stop porn once you realize how using porn will make you want to use sex cams again. One step at a time. Is there anything you want to achieve in life? Something that would require you to work on it, and something you would enjoy reaching more than you enjoy cam sex?
The thing is I almost lost all interest in porn and want to go straight to cams. about the things I want to achieve in life, I'm undecided about that, and maybe there a link, the ongoing situation of not deciding draws bad things in.
