can anyone out there relate to that first subtle sneaky hint of temptation setting its claws into you? you've been good for a while (about two weeks in my case). actually it hasn't even been that hard. life's been busy, haven't been thinking about it. then a little trigger appears. in this case i'm in an office with arty photography and there's one that's MILDLY suggestive. boom. the seed is planted. the impulses start to come up, slow at first, then getting more and more pushy. i came close to dipping my toe back into that tide that's taken me out so many times before. the thought to post here about the experience was the only thing that was able to redirect me...argh
I totally get what you mean. For myself, it's a devious inner voice - almost childlike - that wants to engage in 'naughty' behaviour. I hasten to point out that there's no audible voice, just an idea or a sense of possibilities open to me. Whatever it is that you feel, i think its progress if you can identify it. For me it was monumental, although i only realised its relevance after acting out. For me that is the key point, that's when the decisions are really made.
Come to think of it, yeh I get that too. The heart beating faster doesn't help because it's not always clear that it'll go away by itself.
Very true. Comes outta nowhere. I'm learning to identify for what it is. Whether I'm just bored for a minute or two. It hits me like ;"wow, that would be a neat thing to do". I do push ups instead because I am so often alone. I bet I.ve done 200-300 per day for the past 2 months. I continued to do them even when I would relapse. Now, my arm strength and tightness because I'm not taking any days off from push ups is at least reminding me of my desire to stop this PMO crap. I hope I don't damage my arms with all these push ups. Should find other things to do.
yeas i can relate, intact after relapsing i can usually pinpoint the thing that for of set "the ball rolling" towards a relapse, normally its passing an attractive woman in the street or fantasizing or something but experience has taunt me that staying strong and denying the early temptations is a lot easier than stopping yourself when your on the toilet with your computer getting ready to press enter on your first porno search.
