Hello, I am an 18 year old male from germany. I already have a bit of experience with NoFap, because I already started like a year ago. Unfortunately I still wasn't able to get rid of my addiction to pornography and masturbation. The first time I actually decided to stop PMO I achieved a streak of 6 Days, but it was horrible time for me. I was nervous, could not sleep, was not able to concentrate. My mind only was about porn. All the clips I collected over time came back to my mind and made me crazy. So on Day 6, I lost the grip and PMO'd. After that I couldn't make it past 2 Days, until a couple months later I went to spain with my friends. Because we didn't have a lot of money, we shared a hotel room. As a result I did not jack off 7 days for my friends sake. But although I made it to a 7 day streak, I didn't feel any progress yet and so I made a horrible mistake: "OK, I don't feel different, this NoFap stuff is crap. When I come home, I'll start fapping again. Why should I torture myself, if I don't feel benefits.". That was, what I was thinking back then. I was stupid. So I fell down to the PMO-hole again for at least one month, until I realized, that I was masturbating like 5-6 times a day, sometimes even more. It wasn't even fun anymore, but nevertheless I had to do it. Actually I wasn't even able to get a full erection anymore after like 2 weeks, even with porn. That was when I decided to get back on track and cut porn from my life completely. I made it to a couple of 3-4 day streaks, but I failed. Again and again. I lost count how often I failed. About 2 weeks ago was the point, where I managed to get to a whole week again and I started to feel the benefits. For example: A guy accidentally bumped into me. Normally I would have been super pissed about it and start to curse, but not that time. I actually smiled at him and said "No problem, dude. Have a nice day". And i did really mean it. However on the 7th day I started looking on YouTube for a girl, I used to watch a long time ago. Then at her instagram. Then other girls instagram. Then pornstars instagram. Then porn. Again. After I finished I was very angry and ashamed of myself and I promised, that I would never do those mistakes again. But after another 4 Days, I did the exact same shit again. Then after 3 days again. And now after 2 days again, which brings us to the point in time, I am writing this text. After I finished again today, I was so tired of failing all the time, that I decided to register on the forum and to join some conversations every now and then. And I also did something, which took me until now to finally do. I just deleted my entire collection of videos, pictures and recordings. 300gb. 12000 files. 5 years of work. Finally gone forever. Right now I don't have any feelings about it, but i think I may regret it later. But in the long term, it was probably the best thing I could have done. So, thanks for reading and have a wonderful day!
Hi IR254! Well done on deleting your porn collection. It is much easier now than it will be in a few days. Also don't beat yourself about your relapses. Most of us start with daily relapses. It may sound hollow but the most important thing is to learn from them! The youtube-girl for example. You will not fall for that so easily again! You'll find many tips about how to identify and deal with your triggers on this forum amd over on yourbrainonporn.com - espacially the theory/hypothesis behind porn addiction helps in strenghening your resolve and keeps your mind off porn. Also keep in mind that every hour you abstain from porn counts so if you relapse it wasn't all for nothing. And if you relapse get back on track instantly afterwards! Don't end up binging for hours. You will get better at dealing with it and that will take time. Took me 1 1/2 years before I cracked the 2 weeks mark and I still relapsed afterwards. Don't let your guard down - the urges or a trigger usually strikes when you least expect it. Be patient. Be determined. Know you can do it. We all can. Viel Erfolg und liebe Grüße aus Österreich!
Thanks for your kind words! I think you are right about the every-pornless-hour-is-still-progress-thing. I used to beat off at least 25 times a week and I managed to bring it down to 2-3 times. That is a step in the right direction, I would say. Es ist schön, auch mal auf einen deutschsprachigen Fapstronauten zu treffen!
My pleasure! So did I. Yes it is and there are many more steps towards rehabilitation for both of us! Oh there are a lot of german/german-speaking people here on the forum which is not surprising since we make out a significant chunk of the high-speed-internet-porn-affected western countries. Reading through the newbies section you'll find the occasional german (speaking person). (Unfortunately you often recognize them by their (ab)use of german grammar and idioms in the english language xD)
That's incredible. You are 18 and have already resolved to remove this from your life. No doubt there will be tough days ahead but you can absolutely win this battle. Good for you for signing up and posting. Like you, it took me ages to actually open an account and post something. Stay strong and never give up.
