Escort urges

It gets worse before it gets better.

 

^
I'd think it would be a good thing to give this a lot of thought. The thought of having a real live encounter with a real live woman IMO is far better that "fapping off" to some "pornie" you Follow on Twitter, especially if you've fallen for the Snapchat, Amazon Gift card, and other hustles. As long as you understand that regardless of how hot this "escort" (another PC word for prostitute) is, it's still a business transaction. If you can accept that, and still feel comfortable, then WTF go for it. A word of caution, be selective, don't fall for a "bait and switch", and use cash not your credit card if at all possible. Believe it or not, if you could include dinner in the mix, and make it like a date it could ease the tension you might feel. Last but not least, quality is not cheap!!!

 

^
Well, my friend you asked for input, and I gave it. I tried to include pros and cons based on my experience. getting other opinions is always a wise move. As far as your having a GF, that's a whole other issue. Best of luck my friend, I wish you well.

 

Tell you what. Whatever moral/social issues and hang ups aside any form of real female interaction will always be better than choosing porn. If you are someone who have always resorted to porn real sex would be an eye opener and if the experience is memorable and amazing you wouldn't turn back to all that digital make believe. Only possible negative aspect is that you may be hooked on the experience in hoping to return to it once again. So you chase chase and chase. DON'T. Use that amazing sexual experience to fuel your drive to let porn go so you can connect with women in real. As always use protection even if she is a long time girlfriend.

 

@GSarosi Congrats on the 141, however I did notice the small print. I'd like to respond with this comment. I was out on my bike today for my morning ride on the beautiful trails we have up here. Great exercise and good for the mind as well as the body. As I said early on, my issue was a "porn crush" on a girl I'd followed on Twitter almost from the start of her "career", things changed but despite that, I was like an addict, with her as my drug. It/she was constantly on my mind, I'd stop then go back, blah, blah, blah. When I read about NoFap I came on at once, and wrote my story, also the NoFap on Reddit, although I think this site is better. By being able to write my thoughts, and read those of others, I was able to feel like I had found a place where I could express myself without fear of ridicule or judgement. I found myself not wanting to just "take a peek" at her Twitter site, which I knew was just the same old BS, (NSFW), and slowly I found it wasn't the first thing on my mind when my eyes opened in the morning. No more "one way conversations" while on the trail, and no more going over day after day the personal things I'd learned about her life. My mind was clearing up. and even at my age, I found more inner peace than I'd had in a very long time. I haven't been to a porn site, or any of the other porn information sites, porn has become an article in TIME magazine, where I first read about NoFap. I haven't been (logged on) to Twitter in weeks as well. Not M to O while watching P to me is like me putting a glass of 12 year old single malt on the table next to me and then waiting to see how long it'll take for the scotch to convince me it's alright to drink it. In closing, I agree 100% with you about having the experience of a real live woman as opposed to the "digital images" on your tablet, PC, or phone. I also think that although these babes think they hold the power with the BLOCK button on Twitter, we also have a BLOCK button as well by not buying or giving them shit!!

 

@zip6331. Thanks. It is not over yet. If I hit 180 days then I would have something to celebrate. Quitting all this PMO is not an issue for me and this is my ever first attempt. The issue is if I get detoured by someone I am attracted to and I may resort back. Happened once during reboot/rewire. Luckily I have the willpower and discipline to shut this off quick.

I am no moral police and some idiot social justice warrior. All these rules about morality, right and wrong, fairness are absolute crap at times imposed by others to maintain their control. This is how I see things. Whatever happens between two consenting adults are none of our business. As long as what you are doing are not hurting anyone then go ahead. I am not your keeper. No one is. Most of you are grown adults. Whatever decisions you make good or bad you are going to have to live with them and learn from.

 

@GSarosi You're welcome, 141 is nothing to sneer at. I may seem funny but my issue wasn't so much M, as it was being addicted to this person and being a voyeur into her life. I could explain more but it's not worth the space, simply because being able to write about it honestly has worked wonders. Based on what's going on today, I'm not sure there are any "moral police" on duty at all. Or, they only show up when some politician or do-gooder wants to make a stink about something or someone. I completely agree with your assertion about decisions, "accept the choice, accept the consequences." That's why I believe that many women and men at 18 are not mature enough to make a decision about entering the "adult biz" regardless of how attractive they are. I get a real kick out of the fact that an 18 year old girl can be a "dancer" in a club, but "legally" can't drink alcohol in the same club because she's not 21. Also, as I've said many times, I don't care how sweet, nice, or pleasant a girl is outside of the porn set, she has to know that what she's doing for money is going to be seen by people who have no business (by law) seeing it, and that it will at some point have a negative effect on some people who watch it, and could be a stimulant for a person to commit crimes. In reality, most of these girls despite the fact they put on a big show about what lavish lifestyles they live, most are in debt up to their necks, and rely on sugar daddies, and alternate means of support to exist. The only people that really prosper are the people who produce the content, because they own it forever.

 

Buying a woman like you would buy any other object is just as bad if not worse than objectifying a woman in porn. In fact, pornography's definition is filmed prostitution.

Women in the sex industry do not want to be there. They do it for the same reasons women in porn do it: economic poverty and no options.

So you'll be contributing to the same old harms if you buy a woman like you'd buy a steak.

 

^
I agree with you up to a point. I think you're referring to "sex slavery" and it's real no doubt. However, many girls here enter the adult biz because it's fast money, a lot of attention, and they stay around for a few years and they're gone. Of course because they are "contract workers" they have no control over their content, which could be around for years. Some women have found that out the hard way when years after they left porn and got married, went to college, and had families only to be exposed by someone surfing the web and have their quiet suburban lives turned upside down. Some were girls who were just regular girls became beguiled by porn and even though they were intelligent and talented, wound up unable to play by the rules and wound up as real sex workers and not just actors. Sadly, they became what they did, and not who they are. I suggest reading Jenna Jamesons biography, it's a real eye opener.

 

Porn is way worse for a girl/woman than escorting. I mean with porn once it is out there it is out there. Forever. The girl will never get the life back before she entered porn. A for being an escort once she leaves she can go being a regular civilian girl once more. In majority of the cases she can maintain her dignity and grace. Girls entering the escort industry is definitely in it for the $$$$$. I mean who in their right mind would go in this for the pleasure and excitement. Well I am sure there are some women but a very small minority.

I am not going to go on some white knight mode trying to say this is wrong or this is "right." These women who entered into all this if they are not forced to did it on their own free will. So if they regret doing so well they should know better. Most the guys in here say this is wrong blah blah blah and it is all terrible objectifying women and all are the folks who are actually afraid of their own demons and putting women/relationships on some high pedestal. So becoming some social justice warrior projecting their "high moral" compass give them some justification. LOL.

 

I became so involved with what I now see as a "porn crush" that it took over my life completely. Because of the Internet I was able to find out more about this girl than I could have ever imagined, it was amazing. Along with fapping to her daily, I could follow her on Twitter and complete the fantasy. I'm sure I'm not alone here, so enough. Frankly, the who, what, where, and how these girls got where they are is no longer my concern. Most are master manipulators, and after a few years, they have figured it all out. The reason I'm here is to join with others, to stop looking at them, to stop fapping to them, and to stop being controlled by them. No matter how much I know, they are not real people to me, they are not healthy people for me to be around. By being here right now, I'm not watching porn.

 

Hmmm .... be careful. From the sound of things you have a problem in that you easily put women and possibly relationships to some high pedestal. You idealize them in your mind. I used to do so too but not with porn stars. I just see them as tools to get me off.

Also porn is not our main problem. It is how we relate to women as a whole that is if we closely look at this fap problem we all have. Porn stars are just an aspect to allow to us to idealize women and put on some imaginary bullshit pedestal. Given the advent of social media like instagram and facebook this fake imaginary is magnified. These women choose what to put on their accounts which create some perfect image and given that we are such visual creatures we easily fall for the fantasy hook line and sinker.

 

Hey @Santoraska2323, I find that this is one of the tricks that the addiction plays on you. It helps you to rationalise the porn use, because you can say "at least I didn't go and hire a prostitute, I just jerked off to some silly videos instead!". So you avoid some potential difficulties (STDs, getting robbed, blackmail, etc) and you feel like porn is the "safe" option ... so you watch some porn! But remember, either option will still give your addiction that dopamine boost that it craves. And either option will still reinforce those pathways in your brain that see sex as just a means to an orgasm, and women as tools that exist to service your sexual lusts. All of that will prevent you from having a genuine and loving relationship with someone else. So be very careful!

Just mentally turn to your addiction and let it know that you're on to its tricks. It doesn't control you. You are the one in control, and you don't have to do any damned thing that you don't want to do. You are the one who controls your body - you need to pick up the phone, you need to go to a website, you need to type out an email, and all of that. Just ... don't do it! Why let the addiction win?

The path of self-control and restraint is not always an easy one, but it is a very worthwhile one. Whereas the path of porn ... well, if you feed your compulsions and addictions, do not be surprised when you realize that they have become your master, and will drive you to some very, very dark places in life.

 

^
That was very well said, and it applies not only to porn, but to any other addiction as well. I walked into the rooms of AA 33 years ago, and with the help of many people, some I didn't even know, found help. Even after all this time I work that program everyday. It should have been so obvious to me that porn to me was the same as booze, but it wasn't, now it is. I'm grateful for this forum, and all in it. If I'm here, I'm not there, THANKS!!

 

I liked Dendrites answer to the OP and I want to add that it's quite normal for a porn addict to have such fantasies. The solution is quite simple: avoid escort websites and porn sites altogether (aren't they nearly the same, anyway?). Don't indulge in such fantasies, reboot properly and build new healthy habits.

I personally find it helpful to strengthen all the positive thoughts about my relationship and dismiss thoughts of discontent and cheating.