Hey folks my name is Trevor U can call me trev So Im 32 been a fapper and Porn Addict for too long, as long as I remember. Im a decent guy respect women and want nothing more than to find my soul mate, live a creative fulfilling life and do something to make the world a better place than it was before I arrived. BUT! Im fucking seriously addicted to some utter shit activity that drains all my energy, de motivates me, and even effects my relationships (For example Ive met some amazing women but if they dont satisfy me 100 percent I let them go). This and cigarettes (after I beat the fap they are next) destroy me oh soo much. I wont talk about my symptoms or triggers but I will say I can fap for hours. The effects it has is probably the same as everyone so no need to say why I am here. I think the root of my problem originally has to do with my relationship with mother as a child I was pretty frequently abused verbally, physically and sometimes humiliated, teased about things of a sexual nature by my MOTHER. This I would say has caused me to seek the approval and love of women and manifested in the addiction. Im not vengeful to women at least I cant see it and I have mostly forgiven Mum we have a decent relationship after she stopped drinking. I have told her she has affected my relationships with girls and she has said sorry but I believer there are still things to say.... DONT tell me I should see a professional because Im in Moscow and its out of the question till I get home. My First goal is 10 days fap free, no porn but I do have a friend here I may see I just want to see myself make better use of my time, gain energy and think about my relationships without the "Fog of porn" in my sub conscious.... I have only ever discussed this with one close friend. So please folks give me some encouragement tell me what you have gained from this. Wish me luck I will be reading all your replies.
Trev, I am on day one but in the past 6 years I have giving up fapping for lent and it was amazing how my whole view on life was so different. I truly did have a much better look on life. My workout were stronger and much more effective, I was more out going but most of all my hidden anger was gone. I have had some shitty things happen in the past that I cannot let go of, throw that in with hours of porn and fapping I would spiral down pretty quickly. I could make it through lent but after nothing kept me strong so I would go back to fapping. Now with this site I feel that I have a lot of support, journaling really helps me and just seeing how many other guys out there have the same issues. Just remember you are not alone we are all in the same boat and we are here to support each other. Stay strong and positive.
Hey thanks man. Im going to keep checking back. First I will aim 10 days hopefully see improvements become inspired and keep going. It aint going to be easy but Im going to smash it then perhaps go for a reboot. Not having sex may be out of the question because Im in Russia
After 3 days I almost relapsed.... It was easy the first few days I was away from home and yesterday I had a girl with me. But alone now, I had a bit of a look but here I am I was an impulse something I barely thought through. Im watching the TED talk on "Why I stopped watching porn: Ran Gavrieli" I think NoFap saved me. I dont wanna reset that counter.
Your doing great Trev, it took you longer than three days to become the addict and change your brain function so it will take a long time to change it back to being normal. I say that like it is so easy, I was up until 1 am last going crazy and this morning I have been on these forum keeping from going on the porn site. you mention that it will be hard not having sex since you are in Russia, why is that?
Because there is a large ratio of females to males, Im from Australia and the women are beautiful (if a little crazy). Its rather a lot easier to meet girls. But I probably havent been laid as much because Ive been wasting energy fapping...
And sex is not a problem, I never had internet till I was 21. I had a fapping problem but never to any degrading or humiliating shit. Never really saw it till I had already developed myself sexually and had a good understanding of females and real sex. I never really got off on anything too strange I did watch some things over the years though. so Its going to be nice to see how I change.
don't lose hope man, and dont be hard on yourself, even if it looks cliche' "patience is the key of everything "
