the escalation ladder , is it a thing or should i be worried ?

i dont know if thats true but i kinda happens to me, first if i cave in i go to my fetish porn then after that look up the other things i have been turned on by until i have watched all the things i was craving and then feel shit.

 

Hey Frank,

Would it make you feel worse/better if a gay guy had the exact same escalation ladder as you?

 

Do you find women attractive? Forget about erections for a minute. If you find women attractive then you'll be okay sooner or later, I reckon.

 

It's got nothing to do with your sexuality bro. I'm straight, started on straight porn and gradually escalated in the same way as you did. It's just more novel, and more taboo, which means a bigger dopamine rush.

It will subside as you progress through your no pmo journey. I can tell you from experience

 

Don't make a issue of a non-issue. People get aroused by seeing animals having sex, what would you call them? hermit_ninja is right, if you like women you'll be okay. I think when we decide to not to entertain any thought of sex and lust or any trigger (hard mode) our conditioned mind tries different portals to entertain thoughts of sex and related stuffs and this could be weird. Mind needs sex and it could go anywhere for this. Stay Strong.

 

Reboots are different for everyone, honestly if you've been abstaining from masturbating for 15 days that's awesome and takes a lot of will power. Chalk that up as win #1, Win #2 your reaching out for support, takes a lot of courage to admit to some of the things and try to face them, Win #3 either you are moving down the ladder, or progressing into the "low period" some people have of sexual disinterest during a reboot. Your reboot is affecting you, and your straying slightly away from porn.

Now next goal, try to abstain from porn in general: you should not be checking back in to see if different fetishes affect you cause it can delay the healing process. Not that this doesn't happen for most of us: most reboots are 2 steps forward 1 step back (sometimes more) which is why many times people who set off for a 30 day reboot will take over a month to succeed.

Try a few more days without any porn at all...reevaluate (try not to indulge) then try and increase that to a week and so on.

Go out and try some new things, get to know you, see what else makes you happy. (Honestly telling these words to myself, as I can sometimes struggle to practice what I preach, but I do believe in my words)

 

^best advice you can get, listen to this guy

Your making progress, and obviously while I don't know you, I'm 100% sure your not gay, your in exactly the same boat as me. HOCD is a creation of the mind, you have to realise that your brain doesn't distinguish between gay and straight porn, it only recognises new scenes and fetishes as exciting, and therefore good. Don't obsess over this, I obsessed over it, worrying frantically, I get depressed, paranoid that people thought I was gay, I avoided girls, and even went so far as meeting a guy I met on the Internet for sex(and I hated it) just to see if I was actually gay. But really in my heart I knew I wasn't actually gay, I'd always fancied girls my whole life and your sexual orientation doesn't change just like that.

Realise this for what it is, your brain wants a bigger dopamine hit, no matter how it gets it. Gay porn fits that bill, and provides a bigger dopamine hit. That's it, there's nothing more to it. I hate to see people in the situation your in, because I remember so vividly how horrible it is, but one day you will look back at this and smile because you conquered it

 

My experience was similar as @mattyjsy. Hang in there. My porn use escalated over time as my tolerance built up. It took more and more extreme and taboo forms to create the same dopamine rush. I too watched gay and transwoman porn but my sexual preference was never in doubt or affected afterwards. It'll get better. Recovery is a process. The addiction took year's to build up over time, it will also take time to dismantle.

 

i can tell you this .. the escalation ladder is definitely exists, i won't go into details how my type of porn changed throughout the years
but it started with straight porn and ended with transwoman porn ... but after 39 of abstaining my last relapse was on straight porn and i found transwoman porn not arousing and very disgusting for me so this proves that the escalation ladder is reversible
but keep in mind in real life my preference didn't change at all throughout the years i am always attracted to girls .
hope this helps you

 

You missed the point, it was actually a rhetorical question... The point I was making was, you might get half a dozen "straight" guys chime in and say their escalation ladder was the same as yours. However, you only need one "gay" guy to send you back to square one by saying his is the same escalation as yours.

The point is it does NOT matter what the escalation ladder is, it does NOT MATTER because you will make a deal of something else. If you satisfy yourself that in that no other gay man has the same escalation ladder as yourself, you will pick holes.

Maybe you think straight guys should go hentai -> transwoman -> gay. But you did hentai -> gay ->transwoman. Therefore this must conclude you're definitely GAY.

Forget the labels, social experiments, life experiences of others. I'm telling you, you will NEVER BE SATISFIED. Every question which you lay to rest, another will take its place, this is the nature of your HOCD.

When you accept these questions, let them ride, even nod your head and agree with it, that's when you start making progress.
Send me a private mail if you need more specific help. I've been helping a bunch of guys for a little while now. I think I know enough on the subject to get you out of the hole and back into the light.

At least you are at a point where you've recognised the problem so you can avoid going out and looking for a real life encounter. Be thankful for this much.