Do you think I'm too hard on myself?

Certainly it's admirable to set life goals at the age of 20. That said, give yourself some time to accomplish...many... of them?! You might find your goals adjusting as you come into your own, and that's OK.

You might read up Scott Adams' series on Goals vs. Systems. As you start to achieve some of your goals and experience life as a 21 year old, the path to reaching your next goal will then take shape. Good luck on both your nofap experience and your life goals!

 

Has anyone ever told you you're great other than you? People that have a supremely high level of self-confidence are usually people who are oblivious to what's actually going on. In other words, the ones who are good today and have the potential to be great tomorrow aren't wasting their time seeking validation from strangers on the internet. They're also not constantly giving themselves pats on the back for doing nothing nor do they make excuses for their failures.

Get an apartment. Start paying your own bills. Become independent before you start talking about how "hard" you're life is. You have no clue what hard is. You've never supported yourself. You've never had a real job. And to top it off you have a ridiculously high opinion of yourself and zero respect for people who actually HAVE earned something.

 

Hey buddy,
I went through many tough situations and had some emberassing disappointments in my life. When I was around 19 years old and finished school I felt ruthless like you do right now and wanted to get respect and love at all costs.
I was a very domineering and intimidating person but.. there is no point in acting out of revenge. It only brings more pain to yourself and the world.
Stop this risky, self destructive behavior. All these idiots talking trash want you to hang out with junkies and get f*cked. All those mentally ill gender confused feminists want to bring negativity to your life. They want to drink your "male tears". All those trolls want your attention and when you get mad and write long posts they laugh their asses off.
But notice something? It has nothing to do with you. These people want to bring destruction to everyone. Even the feminists. They don't hate men, they hate children and women, too.
The cure would be countering these negative influences with positive ones. Unfortunately this is hard to do or impossible. Most people want more and more and fear losing what they already took for themselves. You know what I mean. Teachers and politicians don't even have the decency to suggest young kids healthy identities and roles in this satanistic society.
And if you are like I was you think poorly of succesful and happy people. But you never know what a person has gone through. Most people I learned to respect and admire are low key guys. Not celebrities or youtubers. So keep your eyes open and get interested in other people.

So now you have my advice to build your own identity, find a better network or go your own way. Never react to hateful people and the toxic circumstances they create. Chances are they knew how you would react and wanted you to become like this.
But you deserve the best. There are no limits of positivity you couldn't reach in this life. There are some people who want you to realize this.

And.. what has saved me personally? I became a Christian. You can too. You can always learn something about the bible which is the most amazing collection of books ever. In this day and age you can listen to sermons online. I would recommend Robert Breaker's youtube channel. He is charasmatic and smart and has serious discussions but also explores the less important but fun passages of the bible. To you I would recommend this Video. Please watch it.

Best wishes

 

@TrueHuman Yes, I do think you are too hard on yourself. So that's that...

But as far as your goals go, we all are different. When some people set too many goals at once, especially in a short time frame which can make it even more intimidating and stressful, it discourages them, paralyzes them and the end result is lots of procrastination and no progress. It's about slow and steady for some, rather than fast and furious. They would simply burn out. Their engines would overheat, so to speak. But you seem to be a type of person who could actually be motivated by that instead. You have that hard, warrior type of mindset. I don't really know you so I can't tell what's best for you. Observe how you feel and adjust some things, experiment, see if maybe you feel less overwhelmed. There is no right approach, it depends from individual.

 

Literally last night, I was doing some therapy work on myself and I had to answer some questions like: do you envy other people's success, do you have problems with authority figures such as cops, teachers, etc. and it reflects the way you were treated when you're in your early young adulthood.

I think your goals will be achieved (perhaps altered too) if you're willing to heal the pain in your past. I'm seeing a therapist right now as well and I'm doing this type of work. Removing all the tough guy facade. Because that facade came from being disappointed in the past.

I got discouraged from failure, rejections, being bullied, etc. and I'm covering it up with workaholism, mastering pick-up, and staying with a small group of friends who validate me. I'm seeing some results already. I've gone out of my comfort zone more, more open, procrastinate less, and my sex life is even more awesome.

If you want to go deeper on this, have a read at Homecoming by John Bradshaw