Female Sexuality

Hahahaha... I see my previous post piqued your interest! I would like to answer your question, but I am a young man.

Stay strong man,

~Squeaky Soul

 

Hello boys... I am crafting up a very long response, but it's coming.

 

Yes, absolutely, women want to have sex. We are wired to get stimulated, respond biologically, have sex, and have orgasms. If we weren't wired this way by evolution we wouldn't have clitorises.

It does. It means that women feel ostracized by men and other women for having an overt sexual nature or (especially) having sexual problems. If a woman says to someone, I have issues with sex, the immediate reaction is: WHORE! If a man says to someone, I have issues with sex... well I'm not so sure here because I'm not a man. But from what I gather it's either approval or disapproval, not moral judgment. With women, sex and morality are disgustingly webbed together.

Everyone poops, right? Everyone masturbates too, as far as I can tell.

Sneaking suspicion is spot-on.

Exactly. Think about this: you know that girl that's willing to hang out with the guys and go to strip clubs? Or the girl that people think is "easy"? How come something is different or wrong about her whereas her partners-in-crime are totally fine, when their actions are exactly. the. same.?

No sure how to wrap this post up, but I'll just say this... I saw two young girls today, preteens, wearing shorts so short you could see buttcheeks. I was sad for them because they have been influenced to think/feel that those shorts are (1) appropriate and even worse, (2) enticing and deserving of appreciation, but I was even more sad for the boys who grow up in this world seeing women only as sexual objects and not as equals.

I'd be happy to field questions, although I should certainly say I am not a spokeswoman for my gender.

 

I'd like to point out that the sex toy industry is thriving, and if you go to a sex toy-selling website, you'll see there is much more stuff available for women than for men.

I don't know what kind of girls you talk to, but I frequently meet girls who openly aknowledge that they enjoy sex and/or that they own a sex toy.

As far as porn it concerned, most of it (all of it?) is crafted for men. Couple that with the fact that using a sex toy while sitting in a chair in front of a computer is probably not the most confortable/easy way to go (I would imagine), that could explain why most girls don't watch porn.

I also read somewhere that not so long ago (200 - 100 years maybe), women were considered to be the sex-craving gender. So really the ideas we have about one gender wanting more sex than the other is really driven by society standards. I think we are all equals regarding that.

Not to mention that, biologically speaking, if one gender really didn't want sex, the species would quickly dissapear.

 

I do not pretend I have a lot of experience with women, but in general they want as much sex as men do. Watch the link below, it explains it quite well. Bottom line: the mind of a woman is programmed to be more cautious. Because sex has biologically way more consequences for them then for a man, as she has to deal with pregnancy and the raising of a child. It is measured that the "body" wants to have sex, but that the mind is actively blocking the feeling. Men don't have this problem.

So, I think it is because of the working of a woman's mind and because of the environment/opinion of other people


Warning, link may contain triggers!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cj9vnxBEdp4

 

equality ≠ identity. in the same way that we can say that 500 000 tomatoes have an equal value to 1 car. this relationship is not defined by the inherent qualities of tomatoes or cars. women and men are different, but equal.

to relate it to the question posed by the OP: in my experience, women enjoy sex but it means something different to them than what it means to men. you might say they enjoy it equally but differently

 

As a female I feel a bit forced to reply haha.

Well for myself I've always bragged a lot about masturbating and watching porn. I draw a huge amount of porn related drawings and all, and as none of my very few mates masturbate or watch porn (and I most definitely know they're not lying), I was the only one and loved this attention. Cocky bitch.

Personally, I masturbated out of pure loneliness and despair due to this loneliness. I was terribly depressed at the time and my self esteem was extremely low and I simply thought that I would never have sex so I wanted to experience pleasure. Like, is my body working? Is that ok? Well now I know it works haha.

But my mind is half boy half girl, so that may not be totally the point of view of all girls

Also, about if women want sex, I'll speak in my name only but I've always been genuinely terrified by intimacy, and I learned how to make babies at 11 in a book, and it blocked me totally since then. I am not looking for sex for pleasure, but for "making babies". I now know what pleasure is, I had a lot of fun, but it's over. I don't want to do it alone anymore, and if I do it, it's with first someone I love more than anything and second to have children.

Hahaha Anon, that made me laugh a lot because (keep in mind that I'm 19, virgin, previously depressed and suicidal, and terrified by intimacy) I don't love sex and I went everyone to know about it XD That's what I'm saying right now, also because for me sex = masturbation and porn, but wait for me to fall in love... That'll be another story.

Otherwise I agree 1000% with everything a-s-d-f, Gasparzinho and Anon said.

About porn, it's funny, because apart from lesbian porn, there's not much stuff suited for us. Even femdom is male porn. Personally I was reaaaaally addicted to gay porn because of this need to see MEN. I'm fascinated by male anatomy and I refused to see stuff where the woman was an object - like, 99% of the porn? And even, who watch more lesbian porn? Guys or girls? How much lesbian porn is faked by perfectly hetero actresses? Interesting stuff.

 

While the OP mentions that one cannot generalize to a gender, the original question is a gross overgeneralization of an entire gender. There was a mention in another post that everyone masturbates. Everyone does not masturbate, there are individuals of all genders who don't.

 

Thanks cocorosie for chiming in.

Okay, so I am going to have to strongly disagree with all of the assertions which state that somehow there's a divide between men and women so great that it's not worth even approaching the concept that men and women are equal.

I acknowledge that there are purely biological differences between men and women. Other than the obvious physical characteristics, more importantly we have different biochemistry. Estrogen is a hell of a drug--same goes for testosterone. Unfortunately I'm a fledgling researcher caterpillar and not a full-blown neuroscience butterfly, but I will say this: much of what we attribute to hormonal shifts or "inherent" differences between men and women is truly a result of socialization, except for maternal leanings.

Consider this: in primate studies, there are some differences between the genders from a very young age. For instance, young male primates preferred to play with trucks and young female primates preferred to play with dolls. (Here's a layman's synopsis of the article: http://io9.com/5879647/do-girls-naturally-prefer-dolls-to-trucks-evidence-from-2-primate-studies) The general conclusion that I have garnered is that women have a proclivity toward motherhood--and that makes sense! But does that necessarily mean that I should somehow be less career-oriented than a man? Or desire different things out of life? Or want intimacy less/more? Or be less intelligent, brave, charismatic, or what have you? Or want sex less/more? THAT is where socialization sets in.

Little boys and little girls are raised differently from day one. Interesting psychology experiment: give a baby to someone, say it's a girl. The person will coddle the baby, say she looks beautiful, et cetera. Give a baby to someone else, say it's a boy. Suddenly, he's got a strong grip, and he's jostled around a little more. Same baby! (Layman's article with charts on the Baby Boy, Baby Girl, Baby X experiment: http://scientopia.org/blogs/scicurious/2011/03/09/baby-boy-baby-girl-baby-x/ which reaffirms the primate study as well). Of course this gender-typing continues throughout the life span. When boys discover sex, again I'm not a boy so I'm not perfectly sure, they are (as I understand it) encouraged. When girls discover sex, they are pretty much warned not to become whores. Point being, whatever physiological/neurochemical/innate/genetic differences exist between men and women, we at present have a muddled understanding (at best) of what is caused by nature, what by nurture, and what by the intersection thereof.

Like I said in my last post, I think the society we have grown up in denies men meaningful gentleness and intimacy, and denies women equality and strength.

So what does this have to do with sex? Women will have a maternal drive to procreate and take care of a baby, granted. But in terms of desiring or being able to honestly discuss sex... THAT has so much to do with how we are socialized.


Hard mode 8 days now, woop! Looove you guys.

 

Stygian -- Totally true. I was responding in haste. According to Planned Parenthood 7/10 adult men masturbate and 5/10 adult women masturbate, but I would also like to add that children masturbate. It's not out of fantasy but to stimulate, and I do not know the gender differences there. Also, I'd venture to say that some women refuse to acknowledge masturbation which will confound that statistic.

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/sex-101/masturbation-23901.htm

 

asdf, nice screenname and thanks for linking to a fascinating article.

The article does not state this conclusion. The female primates played with both the truck and the plush toy equally. The comments on the article you linked are very interesting. Someone brings up whether it actually might be primate socialization which caused the differences, not innate biological/genetic differences. In addition, someone else asked what color each toy is, which could possibly explain the difference. In humans there are gender differences in color blindness. Regardless, this is only 1 study and I don't know how much can be drawn from it.

How do we know the maternal drive to procreate and take care of a baby is not socialization? Children are raised so differently and girls are exposed to "girl" toys at an early age. Would be very difficult to sort out what is innate. Based on research I've seen, it's likely related to hormonal changes that occur after pregnancy, not before.

This study, http://www.cell.com/abstract/S0092-8674(00)80101-4, found that by activating and inactivating a gene in female and male mice, they could turn on and turn off nurturing behavior. So it could also be genetic, and in both genders.

 

Fantastic! Thanks for that. I'll read.

 

As a girl I'd like to give my two cents here. I'd be a lucky person if women really did have a lesser sex drive than men, but after realising the extent of my addiction I know that's not true. However, I know a lot of girls who are judgemental about masturbation and cringe or laugh if there is a reference to it in a movie, whi the leads me to the conclusion that they don't do it. That is part of the reason why nobody knows about this problem of mine; they would think I'm such a sexually out of control girl because they have no experience with it. I don't have many guy friends and none so close that I can ask them about this. But if I had to say about myself then the truth is I would die if anyone ever came to know about my porn and masturbation habit. In that moment I would cease to be me. I also know that the consequences if anyone in my family came to know of this would be extreme. They would, simply put, never see me as they saw before and would completely disrespect me from there on. In fact, even if I had a boyfriend I'd never tell him about this ever, not even if he tells me he masturbates, because I feel he would use this information against me and probably blackmail me with it to do things I don't wanna do (btw plan to stay virgin until I marry). The only person I might probably tell this is my husband, and in my mind it is a confession of my sins. I'm not this kind of person, this afraid of judgement, so secretive, but when it comes to my habit I'm like this.
This is a general overview of what a girl feels about masturbation. We do it, but most are not chronically addicted to it so they never mention it, and those who are addicted are living in despair. It's just too big a deal with us. Boys and men, if you agree with any of the points I mentioned as something you have felt too, then maybe it's not so different from us girls. But if not, you're lucky, because this world simply isn't as forgiving with us than it is with you.