There is this new ability: I'm more conscious about what is going on in my mind. And about the consequences. I got used to be aware, which thought leads to the desire of watching porn. Now I'm also aware of my other thoughts. For example I know when am I about to ruin my mood by thinking: I'm not the one who should do this ... (washing up). So I gain more opportunities to change my direction before it becomes too heavy and hard. Looking after things I can be thankful is extremely useful in moments of complaining.
379 days.... that is awesome! Major congrats. These ups and downs happen in spurts. I know because I have experienced them. Just put it simply sometimes it is good sometimes it is amazing but things are never boring and always static I can tell you that much! If things are perfect enjoy it and embrace it then let it go. Perfection is fleeting. If things suck just gracefully let them go, cut your losses and don't hold grudges. Embrace and enjoy the journey. Long term everything evens out.
Wow, congrutalutions and thanks for this really inspirating text! Hope you definitively get out of it soon.
Today is about 13 days later........... so you're are working on approx. day # 380. Reeeeeemaaaaarkable !!!!!!! Awesome !!!!!!! Keep up the good work.
Over 400 days. I'd like to tell you, that I'm over it. But every time I make a merit of passing some days the urges arise with a new effort. Real humility would be realy precious. This journey is also about consciously forgetting ourselves. Neglecting the urges, neglecting the self made importance of ourselves. And posting a reply about how strong and cool I am - by neglecting the urges - can strenghten my ego. So please forgive me for this one.
Do you have a gf\wife? Do you have sex regulary(and how it is compared to pre NoFap period)? Regular sex takes away any urges.