Getting over my E disfunction?

Don't lie to her, just tell her

 

Hey dude, I have the same problem, met this new girl and failed to have an erection. She was quite cool about it altough she just didn't understand why I couldn't get it up as I was really into her. Did you go to a psychologist yet? How was it?

 

I had my blood checked everything was fine. Its just the porn and masturbation to it mate. Abstain from them long enuf and u will get better. Good luck.

 

i've abstained for three weeks now, had a failed sex encounter yesterday :/ How long did it take for you?

 

You suffer from PIED. ts that simple. The problem with porn is that it offers constant stimuli. And when you are not happy with the video, you are watching, you can click on another one. Instant novelty. Your brain got used to it and real sex with a human being doesn't feel as exciting for the brain, regardless of what's in your mind.
Also, you may add a little bit of performance anxiety in the mix, its common when you date a new girl. Stress re-routes the blood from the extremities towards the torso, where the main organs reside.

For me, I'm not stressed about a sexual encounter, because its with my wife of 18+ years...

All in all, you have to reboot to clear that PIED issue. I was in your shoes when I started my reboot. Couldn't keep the erection during foreplay, didn't appreciate BJs (they look so much better on video! I refer to the addicted brain of course), erection wasn't very stiff so I was struggling to get it in there.

After about a month of no porn, no masturbation, I was back on track. My erections are stiff and continuous, seems just a little bigger too. The wife is happy about that.
Keep in mind that apparently, the older you are, the easier it is to re-gain your erections. The reasoning is that if you were fapping and PMO'ing BEFORE the age of high-speed internet porn craze, you haven't been exposed to the worse (so porn mags, VHS tapes and then slow internet watching pics, then movies...DL speed was slow). If on the other hand you are younger and the only porn you know is high-speed internet porn, you have been exposed to the most damaging form of porn, where you never need your imagination. Tehn, it may take a couple months to regain full control on your erection.


To help a little bit in the first few months of my porn-free life, I take some of the shelf vitamins and supplements. You mileage may vary, read on it before deciding you want to try. But supplements won't work by themselves, its the brain re-wiring that is the main component.

I take B-complex vitamin (B-100 variety, more concentrated, make sure B6 is in there)= Good to help the body to cope with stress. B6 helps blood flow.
I take L-Arginine =better blood flow.
Odorless garlic supplement (pills)=helps blood flow.
Maca+ginseng= Helps with energy levels, stamina

But honestly, YMMV, and if I forget to take those for a few days, it doesn't change anything, my E's are there! I just felt more confident taking known blood flow increasing supplements.


The most important is to avoid any kind of sexual stimulation outside real sex. No porn watchin, no P-subs, no reading sexy novels, no sexting, no drooling at the girls at the mall, and no fantasies about "doing" any girl you see or know.....
The brain has to stay completely clean to re-wire.

 

I don't know what the deal is with your balls.

But I can tell you that mines hurt too.I've been MO'ing and PMO'ing for the last 28-30 years. Multiple times a day. In the last few years it was every day or so. Sometimes twice a day (real sex, then porn for "seconds" when the wife was sleeping).

So yes, my testicles aren't really used to store fluids anymore. So they hurt. I feel the pressure. The pressure releases with a sperm release, of course. I figure that they will eventually settle of 1-2 releases per week. It's like suffering from blue balls!
But now that I have about 4 months of abstinence of PMO/MO, its starts to bug me less and less.

 

Ok man, let me know what the phsychologischt says, could really do with some advice on reducing performance anxiety. I just told my normal doctor (gp) that I hadn't been with a woman for quite some time and that the last two times I tried I was stressed and couldnt get it up. Then he asked me if I got erections in other times (like masturbating and morning wood). I said yes, out of which he concluded that there was nothing physically wrong with me but I needed a little boost to ensure I'll get it up in my next few sexual encounters, in the hope that confidence will be up again so performance anxiety wont be an issue anymore. He pretty much said you just need to have a few good fucking sessions to get your mojo going again. Makes sense though. It's not like your body gets physically dependent on erection enhancers.

 

You body is probably not getting dependent on erection enhancers. but knowing that you are looking at it as a "confidence" enhancer, just make sure you don't develop a psychological dependence tho....

 

Im new here, but I had PIED when i first tried to have sex with girls. It killed my confidence and made me feel horrible. Here is how i was able to get over it.

I ran across somebody that could get me boner pills (he sold it along with ecstasy for raves) so i bought some pretending that i just wanted to see how it feels. The moment then came around for me to have sex with a good looking girl, so i took it. When i hooked up with her, my dick was rock solid for a long time. However, the feeling of pleasure for me was gone. My brain was so used to porn, that I could not cum with real sex. For her pleasure, she was very happy. It took me a while to get my brain working again; that required me to stop watching porn, and start hooking up with real girls. Sometimes i needed the help of pills, but i was able to have sex. For a good while, I was still not cumming. This was causing problems for me to keep a girl around, because each one would think that I was not very attracted to her.

Then one day, I thought about a porn scene that i liked a lot while i was having sex and imagined i was really in the scene. This suddenly gave me an enormous pleasure spike, and sure enough i came everywhere. It felt amazing. Way better than any fap session. After figuring this out, i was able to fuck around with the same girl for a while and she got me away from fapping long enough to rewire my brain to enjoy the real thing. I still do fap as i am addicted, but i no longer have PIED since then.

So in summary your best bet, IMO is to get boner pills and take it before sex. This way it will build your confidence and slowly rewire your brain to like real sex. You need to get to the point where you dont need pills or porn to ejaculate.

Hope this helps

 

Refer to my avatar to get an idea of what my reaction to that bolded section is.

You don't have to lie to her about anything. In fact, you straight up shouldn't. Doing so is setting a very bad example for the future of your relationship. Pardon me if I sound like I'm butting into something I shouldn't, but this is serious business.

Just tell her. If she's even worth keeping, she'll understand.

fuck
please
i wanna know

 

My case is different though, i feel real sex have been setting me back so I embarked on the hardmode journey. After I complete a month I will only have sex when I feel that my erections are rock hard while making out, until then no sex for me.