Severe social anxiety, depression, low motivation, etc.

Honestly, about 20 days into no PMO, there is some mild improvement. I have heard many success stories of guys getting their confidence back. I feel tons better after 20 days, but I still struggle a bit with social anxiety. Not nearly as much as before, though. What's the longest you have gone with no PMO?

 

Well, I'm at almost 150 days now and I still have it, although I do see some improvements. I think if you have always been shy and awkward in your life, it will be much harder to break out of it by just quitting PMO.

Really I recommend seeing a therapist - social anxiety is one of the more treatable mental illnesses, and the sooner you start, the better. I do think it's important to quit PMO as well, though. Therapy does not work that well if you're still addicted and have low motivation because of it.

 

When im on day 1-2 i always feel social anxiety and i don't joke around as i always do + im not motivated to do anything.
This gets fixed after around 4 days of nofap i get so motivated to do everything and i know that it will be a long path that i need to walk in order to succeed even if not only nofap.I get so confident that im afraid what will be at day 30+ LOL, even my best streak was like 54 days but i watched porn in that period so i didn't get that much benefits.
Most of the time for my self atleast around day 7 i get god mode out of nothing and i feel so confident like nothing can stop me.
Just wait

Watch this also: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iGk87bug2s

 

I'm supposed to have killed myself in February 2012 because of severe depression induced by religious guilt induced by porn viewing and masturbation. Two times. I went to an hospital one week in teenager psychiatric urgencies, and 5 month I went every single week in a day hospital twice a week with suicidal and mentally ill teenager, all of this because of porn. Then I said it indirectly to my parents, thought I was feeling better, tried two months to quit, crashed for a bit more than a year, and since I'm here, since January 2nd, I've made more progress than I ever did in 19 years. I'm still shy (I wasn't at all as a small child but I got bullied around 11 years old), but humans words cannot explain how much I've improved. That's what I'm about to say in my journal - Friday I'm going to do a performance in my pyjamas in front of my art school. And I'm French and living in London so I don't understand half the words people say.

I think that what changed since I decided I had quit is that I now am stepping out of my comfort zone. Losing weight is hard. Perform is hard. Meeting new people is the hugest pain in the ass. But still, I do it. Because I know it's good for me. It makes me a better human being, not only the results of the acts, but the acts themselves. And I'm happy to do it. I still feel very uncomfortable when the moment happens, but it matters less - because I know what I'm doing and I know that I'm a fucking beast to have this strength. I'm still overweight (but not for long haha), but when people laugh at me, I don't give a fuck now. Because since I started NoFap I lost 6kg. First time of my life I lose weight, since I'm a toddler I've been overweight. So I don't give a fuck. I know that I'm a work in progress.

And if I still fear that people think I'm dumb or uninteresting or ugly in real life, it matters less because I know I do have some value - I mean, 110 is the beginning of a fucking streak. How much between the fuckers who would laugh at me can abstain from porn and masturbation this much time? Who is laughing now? I'm getting hotter and hotter, and happier and happier. I still have random bursts of depression like yesterday, and severe withdrawals, but it's because I did it cold turkey and because I'm still young and inexperimented.

It's just about stepping out of your comfort zone, really. I still am a bit anxious - especially when this ultrahot girl from my class is around haha - but I stand my position. I don't think it's something that disappear in a day, or a week, or a month, or three months. It's about changing your life, entirely and definitely, and in a better way, and this brings change in the smaller aspects. You're more confident and less anxious when you are happy and proud of yourself.

Hoped it helped. I'm not bragging about my past - I'm not proud of it but I do not forget it. It's not a positive memory to have been suicidal and to have deep scars on my arms. What's important is to reply your question: yes, I have a story, and I could endlessly talk about it to you, but it would take an endless time Do not hesitate if you want to ask me more precise things. Man, do I want the best for you. I've been there, and I would so much like you to meet me in person - at first I'll be shy as fuck, but then you'll see, I'm the happiest bitch on Earth.

 

Too be honest, I agree with the post above me. I used to have low motivation and social anxiety. I didn't even notice I was doing it but pretty soon, it was gone because I went out of my comfort zone. I was always the quiet kid in the back of the class everybody thought was weird. Pretty soon, I was raising my hand and answering questions, I was talking to fellow students and flirting with girls. I'm no longer that one dude that hangs out with a group of people but never puts any input into the conversation. Now I am the reason there are conversations to talk about. I did sports, something I was never good at. I just stopped doing what I was normally doing and got out of my zone. I started doing things I was afraid of doing. I used to be a nerdy, quiet little boy in the back of the class. Now I am probably the cockiest son of a bitch in the whole school but I could care less. Besides this addiction, life is pretty good. Just get out of your comfort zone and enjoy the giant world that we live on.

 

Hi shyguy,

I think that there's usually an underlying reason behind why anyone falls into any addiction. Feeling misunderstood, unloved and depressed is probably top of the charts. This is common in the teen years, where most of us formed PMO habits. We can feel so lonely that the extreme intimacy of porn can seem like a substitute for our own emptiness, but it never is. It only acts as a false-comfort when it actually makes you more alienated and more disgusted with yourself.

So I can relate to your shyness, but we've got to set up for the long-haul. Nofap wont miraculously change anything by itself, but it can arm you to face those underlying issues that were bringing you down in the first place. The cure for shyness isnt a PC with high-speed internet in a dark room; it's forcing yourself to meet new people, finding clubs and groups that youre interested in, setting goals and finding your passion, thinking about others, anticipating their needs and doing what you can to help. Anything to avoid self-pity and increase your love/productivity/contribution to the real world.

All this takes courage and energy which porn doesnt demand. But without PMO, you can at least look yourself in the mirror and say that you're battling something fierce inside you and are winning. Armed with that confidence, self-control and self-respect, you will more easily come out of your shell. When I know that I have a significant victory under my belt (pun intended), I can make eye-contact, initiate conversations, confront people who treat me badly (including family) and just generally enjoy things more. I respect myself and dont expect to be treated like a leper.

Nofap also lets you know that youre not alone; youre not a huge failure while everyone else is great. Everyone has their own demons to fight, PMO is a common one and some are winning, some are losing, but I doubt that anyone is really perfect. So dont beat yourself up so much and dont be so heavy about life. Use the energy from nofap to get out and find something fun to do with and for others.

Also, whenever youre feeling depressed, think of a crushed can and think "i'm soda pressed" and "this is soda pressing". Just a little thing to lighten the mood lol

 

Once again Alex is 200% right. EXCELLENT post man, thank you deeply. I believe it's mandatory to know WHY you want to quit in order to do it. Do you watch because you're anxious, and social anxiety leads you loneliness which leads to porn, or are you anxious because you started porn in the first place and that made you aware of a lot of problems?

It's true, NoFap - but I think quitting all addictions because it forces you to change your life from A to Z - helps with social anxiety because it REVEALS your confidence. You probably have it, especially if you don't know it. Because man, if you're here, you want to quit. And wanting to quit is fucking courageous. And someone who's courageous don't have to fear what other people say, because if courage is a form of confidence, and people are attracted to confident dudes like flies on jam

 

For me, although there were major difficulties with symptoms getting worse in the first part of the reboot, I now feel like a changed man on Day 42. You have to actually make an attempt to change your outlook on the world and on aspects such as social anxiety, NoFap just gives you the tools to do that. NoFap allows you to ooze confidence like never before. Some things take longer than others, so it might be 80 or 90 days before you feel any benefits.