Hi I'm 17 years old, and I've been watching porn almost everyday ever since I was about 11 or 12. Around last year lesbian and straight porn wasn't doing much for me anymore. So I started to watch things like granny and beastiality porn, but for some reason.....me watching those things didn't really faze me. The thing that really scared me was when I actually started to esculate to gay porn and ended up masturbating to it.....this was way back in August last year.....and ever since that time I guess you can say that I developed what's called HOCD......I've been obsessing over whether if I'm gay or not all because of that time I masturbated to that gay porno. I can't even sleep at night anymore without thinking if I'm gay or not. I've always loved girls and have always thought about girls and have even had wet dreams about some of the crushes Ive had at school. I keep on watching gay porn over and over to see if I get a boner or not. Sometimes I even force myself to check out other guys to see if I'm gay or not. About last month I had about 2 dreams (or nightmares) about me watching some random guy sticking a dildo in his butt (just thinking about that hurts my stomach) and another one about me actually forcing myself to watch gay porn. I was NOT aroused by any of those dreams fortunately. What scares me is that I've heard some people say that once you have a gay dream then you're gay.....and that's been freaking me out. Before this gay porn incident I NEVER ONCE had a sexual dream or thought about a another guy.....it was always women and it still kinda is....but now my attraction to women is like it's slowly fading thanks to this HOCD and gay porn crap. I've also tried masturbating without porn while thinking about guys and I got nothing....but I can easily get an erection when I think about a girl.....but when I watch gay porn vids and transgendered person vids I can feel a little something? It's not a full on erection like I get with normal porn. But I a can feel a little something down there it scares the hell out of me. If I'm straight then I shouldn't feel anything right? Im pretty sure I'm straight, but this is giving me doubts. Is it my porn addition? HOCD? Also I recently masturbated to a video that made things even worse called boku no pico....it's an anime hentai about to 2 really feminine looking boys doing it....chicks with dicks basically.....I tried watching normal straight and lesbian porn to do the trick again like it used to....but I just feels...I guess boring now.....for some reason only the weird things do the trick like gay, transgendered person, granny.....etc But the gay and transgendered person parts are what usually spike up my anxiety, and they're the two I obsess the most about. Idk.....ARGH should've stayed away from porn
First, bestiality is WAY worse than gay porn. Second, liking gay porn or even fantasizing about having sex with men absolutely does NOT mean you are gay. Third, human desires can be complicated, and things are rarely black and white. I think avoiding porn is probably a good idea, especially if it gives you so much stress. If you are attracted to both men and women, but don't actually want to do anything with a man... that's pretty normal. It's OK to be gay, but it's also OK to be straight with a tiny little leaning towards homosexuality that you never have to act on if you don't want to. It doesn't make you any less straight.
Thanks for responding. Well in real life I'm attracted to women...and I don't really know which is worse between beastiality and homosexuality, but watching both really grosses me out and makes me feel wierd. I know that there's nothing with homosexuality, but it just doesn't feel right to me. Everytime I obsessively check myself with gay port to see if I'm gay I feel nothing but anxiety and disgust, but when I switch to straight and lesbian porn....I just feel.....good. I think this maybe because of my porn addition.
Hi mate Ive been in the same situation SO DONT PANIC AND JUST CALM DOWN lol you are STRAIGHT everything you are going through is the result of too much porn I went from straight porn to masturbating over penises and transwomen and even dabbled in beastiality lol you've got your self into a bit of a mess I used to do the exact same as you get all worked up and anxious about it but in my case I have never been attracted to a man or ever given a man a second look and outside of porn I never really fantasise about it im pretty sure if you cut out the porn you will stop the gay fantasies as by the sounds of it its only a side affect from all the porn you have been watching. Think of porn as a drug you start of with basic stuff then when that gets boring you dabble into more powerfull stuff to get your next kick which is exactly what your doing with porn your brain is looking for a stronger fix as when I used to masturbate over dicks and transwomen it used to give me the strongest orgasm out of everything but as ive started not looking my fantasies are slowly disappearing good luck
@Icetiger100 Same here. I went to more and more unusual fetishes until eventually I ended at transgendered person and gay porn. I did that because "normal" stuff did not work for me anymore. It's kinda like drugs; you have to increase dosage more and more because you develop sensitivity and old dosage does not work for you anymore. I am also stright. I used to question it too a while ago. But the thing is I am not attracted to guys and masculinity. There is great resource for you to learn if you want to more about this P induiced fetish and how it works - http://yourbrainonporn.com/ask-us-iam-attracted-to-gay-transsexual
@Icetiger100 heres what the OG Gary Wilson has to say about what and overcoming HOCD/Porn addiction and Escalting to gay porn when your straight. Check it out if you haven't already. http://yourbrainonporn.com/what-is-hocd-ocd-today
Been there. Liked the the idea of forced bisexuality and it being a punishment for me to endure it. I'm a married man, love women but yet this thought was like OMFG. My tastes went way out once I exhausted the level I was at and same sex was forbidden for me normally so it was ideal.
Has Has the no porn stopped these fantasies? Usually with me the transwoman and gay fantasies go when I haven't watched hardcore porn for a while.
if you are beating your meat to gay dudes then chances are you are bi sexual to some degree. So much novelty of porn it's endless. When you cross genders, chances are you are curious, and possibly in the closet. Have u ever thought of using craigs list and maybe grindr...? find out if that's what you are looking for
Many of us are in the same exact boat. It often is porn induced. Whether you believe that you might be gay or not, that is up to you. But the vast majority of both sexes have porn induced sexual fantasies which dissipate when they lose the PMO.
You have my empathy mate. There is another member here, @Headspace, and here is his personal story and advice...
Hey, no need to say things that make him face identity crisis shit, he's totally fine, he just needs to stop porn and be on the NoFap road, i was like him and NoFap kinda helped me, I'll wait until i achieve 90 days
Im in the same boat, bro. But i watched gay porn once and i did masterbauite on it, then i got HOCD, then i stopped porn immediately after. I recommend to read about CBT and ERP methods, understand it well, then apply it.. Or if you want to get a therapy, try to find a good one whos specialized on that kinda field, because bad therapies will tell you that you are facing latent homosexuality... May the force of NoFap be with you.
DON'T WATCH AN ANIME CALLED BOKU! But seriously, don't watch any porn at all. As bad as that one is, you might as well consider "normal" porn to be just as bad, because "normal" porn will lead you down the same road. No straight shit, no gay shit, no lesbian shit, no pedo shit, no granny shit, no beastie shit, no anime shit, no nothing. It's all shit. Instead of watching porn, put down the computer. When you are on the computer, learn as much as you can about porn addiction. Knowledge is power. It's the anxiety caused the conflict of arousal to gay porn vs. self-image as straight that makes you fixate on gay porn. Stop the cycle by refraining from porn and recognizing your worries for what they are.
Just because you look at gay porn, does not make you gay or checking out other guys. You may be a bit confused about it, yet there is a big difference from just watching it and just checking out guys to acting out on it. A great thing for you to do avoid porn at all costs.