Im a failure..

Hey man! Think of this as day one of the long journey ahead. Keep in mind that excessive masturbation exhausts the pleasure centers in the brain, which can cause intense feelings of helplessness. Try watching this video and substituting "Drugs and alcohol" with masturbation and pornography. It's never to late to make new neural connections and kick those biological impulses to the fucking curb. We're in this together brother!

 

Let me know if that video helps out, and feel free to message me personally. I'm currently on week 2 No MO and no Porn for 6 months, but every day man it's day one, because all we can do is a day at a time, and all we can do is resist acting to that compulsion one scenario at a time.

As for "good girls," you seem like a nice guy who's just having a rough time right now, and that's a normal part of life. If you start living your life and shaping it the way that you want to be, then people are going to start coming to you man! When it's the right time for a relationship then you'll know, but I'd suggest personally working on focusing on our addiction first man. You're not a failure, and we can work thought this man!!

 

We all fail in the end. What matters is what you do with your life and how you live. In regard to women, it's all about the 'sub-communications'. They pick up a sense that something is not right, and you pick up that they picked that up. Once you get all those soul-destroying habits out of your life [kick them to the curb as the previous poster said] you'll start to walk tall. Your sub-communications will be positive; you'll be putting your energy out there, instead of wasting it in the black hole of P; and the women will respond, and you will respond to that; a virtuous circle replaces a vicious one. It's doable... you just need to want it enough. Good luck~

 

What helped me is actively do stuff that makes you happy? Any real life friend, sibling, cousin with whom you can chat with, just strike a conversation. I dont party and dont want tons of friends but i often send a silly joke to a cousin and he replies with another silly joke and we share a laugh.

Solve puzzles to exercise your brain. Start brushing the teeth with the weaker hand. Dont procastrinate. Trim your nails regularly, shave the face regularly. Have a holistic approach towards healthy activites at life.

Download some porn blocker. when the urge to watch porn comes, i watch dragon ball z video or rather i listen to some song about depression/anxiety/addiction.

every morning i meditate at work. like put the earphones n youtube plays some meditation music as i do the work. my work is typing so i can listen to music and continue with work.

I watched in a ted talk addiction/self help video that when we're distracting ourselves against some addiction, it's important to
HAVE FUN with the distracting activity.

 

It sounds like you need to inject something new into your life before you make the change.

The mind needs to be entertained, not only distracted.

You must really want this change for yourself.

 

All that P provides is a negative feedback loop; you will feel worse about yourself every time you watch, and so you watch more, and more....

When you break this downward spiral, your self-image will start to improve until you become accustomed to your awesome manliness. Being a man is an amazing thing. We are not rocks, or animals, nor does consumerism define our existence. We are capable of freedom and self-determination. We have what seems an almost supernatural energy, and this friend is what woman will respond to. The mass of men have lost this due to the ravages of P. Free yourself of P, and you will find yourself in a natural elite. Good luck~

 

Corrected.

 

haha, but seriously.

Entertainment for the mind = enrichment and task based thinking activities. eg. writing, studying, gardening, jogging.

Distractions = tasks that don't require you to think eg. popcorn movies, browsing youtube, Facebook.

 

Hmmm... interesting. I usually think of entertainment as a form of distraction. So we would see a movie to distract ourselves from our stressful or mundane lives.

And yet distraction can also be thought of in a positive sense; if we are all distracted to begin with [in the pursuit of worldly goods for example], then being distracted from that distraction [focusing on say the Good Life] has to be a positive.


Notice that 'entertainment for the mind' is passive. 'Development/ education of the mind' is active. And activity has to always be superior to passivity.

 

dont lose hope