No MO, just stuck against my fetish

Hello, I've at this for almost a year now, fighting to abstain. My first two streaks were about 50 days and since then I've been stuck unable to get past two weeks without indulging in my fetish, though I haven't masturbated for a while. So, I guess I'm addicted to edging. You see, I'm lucky to have never been into porn, but it has created a problem for me, so I keep justifying my fetish by pretending it's not sexual, what do I do?

 

I reccomend you try to keep youself occupied with pro-active activities and thoughts. Try doing something awesome, such as painting, using Gimp or Photoshop to create awesome art, reading, website making, coding, watching non-sexual videos on YouTube etc. Try to also to remain positive, when you think "I can never get rid of this fetish" say to yourself "But if I give up, how will I know? I gotta keep pushing forward".

-Burning_Flame_Of_Hope, Burning Into A Better Future

 

Yeah, I do try to keep myself active and it helps but right now I am behind with my university work, so my fetish can become an escape. I'm just struggling with discipline to work, my mind can't focus on it for long, though I do stay positive. Honestly even if I end up failing my work that would be a relief, I'm just tired of everything, even though life is only going to get harder.

 

To answer you more accurately, could you state what you fetishize? As it was not created from exposure to porn, you are not so lucky in fact because it is unlikely to go. Porn-induced fetishes will fade when you reboot, but others - not often.

 

Perhaps you should try to do your University work in chunks. Try just saying to yourself "Look, what is this fetish going to give me, in the long run? It will just end up making things worse!"

 

I'd rather not say what it is, but it is a recent development that started about 2 years ago. I am 21 and have been masturbating since around 8.

 

Well, it is very difficult to help you with this. But I can say, every time you edge, you need to reset your counter. Far more dopamine is released from edging than masturbation alone. I do not know why two weeks is your current ceiling.

 

I consider indulging in my fetish to be edging. When I do it, I lose all my "superpowers", even when my mind simply consents to it my emotions become more dull, so it has the same effects on me that people describe when they watch porn.

Yesterday I relapsed again, but I decided to deliberately MO, if you could say such a thing, considering I'm an addict, and after ejaculation, it was as if I had woken up from a bad dream, and all my desires suddenly disappeared. So now I can defiantly say that it is sexual.

And for your last question, it's for the "superpowers". I want to feel intense emotions again. Towards the end of my streaks, I find that I become far more aggressive, yet simultaneously calm and my confidence goes through the roof. I'm naturally quite reckless, but the feelings from abstaining aren't like any kind of contrived confidence, it's more of a feeling of intense power. Additionally music sounds far better, especially the heavier genres.