Motivation and willpower

There is a youtube video on will power vs skill power.
Consider if you're feeling weak in body or having a stomach and doctor says you need some medicines and injections. In that case will power wont be able to replace the effects of medicines and injections.

similarly addiction towards pmo is a disease(according to me) and to get rid of it we need skills other than motivation. or rather motivate yourself to find skills that help this battle.
motivate yourself to buy a book or motivate yourself to join a gym.
the book and/or exercises at gym will be your skills then.

 

Why do you want to battle against porn?

If you feel like you're giving up, remember the reason why you started it.

 

This is pretty good.



This has some of the same ideas in shorter form:

 

Try thinking of will, motivation [what moves you], and desire as just different perspectives on the same thing.

You have a strong will/ urge/ desire to watch P that developed over time.

Now start developing other counter wills/ desires in your life. Some things you consider worthy doing. As you develop enjoyment in those things, your desire for P should wane to the point where you can go cold turkey and kick the habit for Good.

 

I used a mantra: "I control my mind". My problem was not porn, but something even more sinister: transgender temptations. Thanks to this mantra, I've banished them from my mind in 2010. Now I used it to ward off memories of the dark period in my life (2006-9).

 

The reason for low willpower are underlying fears and doubts. You want to do something, but then doubts and fear come up and are stopping you. Please note that there is even a fear of success - because success means that you will be in the spotlight.

The other reason are unclear goals. You know "somewhat" what you want, but your picture is not clear and sharp.

You can change that by working on your fears, and by enforcing your goals.

Very good exercise: Take a paper and a pen, and write down (with your hand!) the following:

• one or more specific situations from your past were you felt strong negative emotions. For example, you were alone in a scary situation, or you had fear in school, etc.
  
  
• Upcoming Situations where you feel fear or negative emotions. For example, you need to hold a public speech and you are fearing it. Or you want to date a girl and you fear being nervous and getting rejected.
  
  
• Write down a specific goal you want to reach in the next time. For example, you want to do some examen, or you want to finish a certain project, or you want to date a girl. Be as specific as possible. Write down how you want to do and how to do reach your goal in all details.
  
  
• Write down overall life goals you want to reach. What is really important to you? What do you want to do? If you should die already in 10 years, what do you want to have done up to this time?

it is important to write by hand, and it is even better in addition to speak it out loudly. Your brain memorizes then much better.
With that, you transform the grey fog of unspecific emotions and goals into clear and precise facts.
Also, I recommend to visualize your goals every day. Every day, do a short meditation, and see yourself in a very specific situation you want yourself to be in. Try to be specific as possible. For example, you see yourself practising guitar for a concert. You hear the sound, you feel the strings, you feel the guitar.

I did all these for myself, and am I still doing the visualization every day - this changed a lot, the effect was unbelievable!