Day 36: I relapsed on purpose || Need Help!!!!

Day 36 / Relapsed

Reasons why:
It was a really hard week at work I was stressed out a lot. At Saturaday I went to my gf and we planed to cook to gether and so on... you get it. (I did not yet slept with her at all) But I don't know why, but I dindn't felt well. I was feeling sick.. it got so bad that I coudn't eat from the meal we cocked and I had to leave eraly..... I was embaressed

The day after (today) was depressed because of how this played out, and I hated my weakness, that I failed in such a pefect moment.. I thouht about it. I wanted to cheer me up, proboly realse a bit of stress so i decided to relapse. I'm feeling a bit better now more relaxed. And I'm planning not to do it again. For me it was just a litte go back to what you know to handle the difficult situation that your in...

I dindn't enyojed the relapse very much in it's process. Like mentaly I felt pretty indiferent only my body reacted to it... it's kinda hard to describe.

Now I don't know where to go from here. I'm afraid that I lose my gf, while I'm not performing (That's a fact girl like strong man). I need some help of you guys if you may.

 

Thanks guys, you're bouth right. I will make this work.