I recently moved to LA from North Carolina, after a tough break-up with a 6 year relationship, and have been having a blast ever since. I have gone from being rather introverted, and PMO'ing quite frequently in NC (maybe 3 or 4 times a week), to PMO'ing once a month since I moved to LA in September. Which has been easier, being busier with awesome live shows that I attend almost every other night, playing and creating music and trying to afford the living expenses of this God forsaken city. Also, living in a one bedroom apartment with five other individuals, the privacy is basically non-existent. And as I said I was very introverted before my move. And I attribute a lot of me being able to cope with living with so many people in such tight quarters to my success with NoFap. But alas, the claws of internet porn still sink deep in my loins. I will find my mind groping and slithering back towards pornography after a strong two weeks of pure bliss and strength against the vile visage of internet. When, rarely, my house is vacant, my focus will turn towards my sexual urges and I will give in to them. LA is brimming with beautiful women. Its overwhelming. So triggers are abundant. But to get to the point of my post, I am in love with my roommate. I am absolutely head over heels. I wish to adorn her with the golden jewels of the Earth. There is a pull from every sinew of my existence like I have never felt about anyone before. And I believe the feeling is mutual (maybe not to that poetic extreme but hopefully so!) At first I thought it was loneliness and I just needed a companion. But this is a force beyond my reckoning and I realize that now. NoFap has helped me recognize this, as well as pull her own attraction towards me! She is extremely clairvoyant, which I believe most women are, but her more than most. When I moved here I was edging a lot. Rarely to orgasm but edging quite frequently. She picked up on this... Edging is not healthy. She would feel that there was something powerful in my energy but seriously off-canter. She would frequently mention how men are sick and depraved and sexual bottom-feeders and emphatically direct it towards me. I stopped edging. Which of course helped immensely in every aspect of my life, but especially our relationship together. I slept around a bit when I arrived to LA (because I have never really ever been single for long and it was fun, although unfulfilling) and really did not even notice her as a love interest until after a two months or so after living with her. But then it hit me with the force of a tidal wave. I began spending more time with her. Sleeping around less but also becoming hornier in dint of not getting laid and therefore wanting to PMO more often. My main attention in my post here is that she would become extremely attracted to me when I didn't PMO for more than few days and I would feel exultant. I would PMO and she would recede from me. I even experimented with this. I am playing it slowly with her because I wanted to make sure I feel certain about this woman before I divulge and disclose my feelings to her, for she has recently been hurt in a relationship and I don't want to hurt her at all. But by experimenting I mean I would PMO and see what the reaction of hers and others around me would be. It would always be the same. She wouldn't laugh at weird quirks I would say. She wouldn't let me rest my head on her shoulder while we smoke a cigarette next to each other. She would mock me in innocent subtle ways. As I said she is very perceptive and clairvoyant, so I think this friendly but incisive deriding was a sign that she felt my energy was not up to par as it normally is. Whether this was subconsciously dealt or not she felt something different and therefore didn't care at all for me. I now think her emotional feelings have grown for me, and even when I do PMO, her emotional feelings towards me stay with her more than my sexual magnetism (or pheromones or whatever it maybe) attracts her instinctually. However just to reinforce how much better abstaining from PMO makes me feel, I have gone 2 weeks without PMO now, and I not only feel confident enough in my own convictions that I could kiss her at any moment (I am waiting for that stupid, romantic and perfect moment in my mind) I also feel that she has been incredibly attracted to me now in the past two weeks. I will catch her sparkling eyes attentively glance towards me more frequently, she will ask to spend more time with me, she will touch me more often. So many subtle but obvious changes in her demeanor towards me and it makes me feel wonderful. I have been reading a lot of posts about sexual magnetism and I can't agree with it more. This is a bit off topic, although relatable in the grand scheme. If you have ever heard of people falling into comas and waking up speaking another language (there are countless accounts of it) that is direct and indisputable evidence that our subconscious minds are all interwoven and connected. Women feel our energy subconsciously. Women are stronger than us in the sexual aspect of life... sorry dudes. Sexual energy is powerful, and it can help you achieve anything you want. Its like bleeding. Its like sleep. If we lose blood we wither. If we don't sleep we have no energy. If we lose our sperm and our sexual energy we weaken. Its a part of our manhood and life-force.... Keep it. Use it.
Counter is not right. Ive gone about 2 weeks now... I just spent way to much energy writing that long winded post and don't feel like figuring out how to reset it. Never have.... going to sleep. Goodnight Fapstronauts.
Your post really hit me, I think your comments about your test will be what makes me reach my goal. This post should be a sticky. I was 2 weeks without PMO and my relationship were great after 3 years of not so good. She then went away for 2 days and I PMO, she came back today and it feels just as "not so good" again. I had not thought about that PMO could be the reason so thank you.!!! BTW... You getting her as your room mate can not be a coincident. Go for it and let us know !!
Sunday Morning (any chance a Velvet Underground link??) I am going through this at the moment, I have been doing NoFap for roughly 6 months, although have failed endlessly, relapsed a load of times, but each time learned something new each relapse. I too am almost near to a 2 week streak and this is the first time in my NoFap journey, where I am also seeing its affects with someone of the opposite sex, I met a girl last Friday and I can tell she is very attracted to me, its weird man, its so natural and in our communications I too really want to make it work with this girl. Our Subconscious is so weird man, I do feel girls can read our inner energies far better than we ourselves can.
Thank you Fred! That really means a lot! Im glad my sleepy, love-intoxicated rambles can help you so much! It definitely is the reason why it does not feel as good for you! After I would PMO Even my own attraction towards her and the love I felt decreased almost to a meaningless crush. And I would say to myself "Nah I don't need her. Im fine being alone. Ill just wack off and go out to a bar and try to have a weary and pointless one night stand" and I would, and it would depress me. Then 3 days later these feelings would rush back and I would be in love again. It takes away our true and deep emotions. Stay strong my friend! Theres no better feeling then succeeding in something that makes you fulfilled and righteous. That makes me very happy to hear come from someone else and I agree. The forces of the universe don't fuck around and I would be a fool to ignore them!
Its not a velvet underground reference but they are one of my favorite bands of all time! The reference is a ridiculous inside joke that would not be pertinent at all to this forum Our subconscious is weird indeed! Im glad you can relate. I have failed endlessly as well my friend! It is not easy at all! This is a true and earnest addiction. I believe it is just as powerful as any addictive drug may be. It is so innocently portrayed in our culture too, thats the most detrimental part about it! She is attracted to you though man! Im sure your a great looking dude but I believe women are more attracted to our energy then they are to our physical appearance by far! You could look the hunchback of Notre Dame and if you stopped fapping girls would probably still find you attractive. Keep it going man!
I agree, thanks for your kind words.... likewise best of luck with your room-mate, maybe this weekend, take her on a date?? make a special night of it, head to the beach, watch the waves. although I'm from the UK, I spend a couple of years, in the States, going from city to city on a greyhound bus.... take it from me man, nothing is more romantic than being with a girl watching the waves hitting the shore.
Sorry to be a spoiler here. You do not love this person nor does she love you. You may like each other at this point and it may progress to love. It might even progress to passionate love making in the future. Today, the two of you are simply flirting. You barely know one another. As porn addicts we tend to lose patience and we want love and sex right away. To quote the late Jim Morrison: Hello, I love you Won't you tell me your name? Hello, I love you Let me jump in your game. Coming on too strong can be a serious problem. How awkward and susceptible you will find yourself if you scare this lady, who happens to be a housemate. I say this from previous experience and previous humiliation. Go for it, but not with a preconceived and false notion of already being in love. Rome was not built in a day.
I agree and disagree. I will try and withhold my first impression of irritation I received from reading your post. But you do not know me. You do not know her and your are placing impressions of your life and the people around you into others. Which is a falsity. You sound like a parental figure talking to a teenager and telling them it is just puppy love. I have lived here and known her for 6 months. Which may not seem like a long time but I spend almost everyday with her and see her at her best and her worst as she does me. It is not as if we have been dating after meeting in an elevator randomly and going to a movie once or twice a week. We spend hours together every single day. We are logging the time of people who are dating over a year in maybe a month or two. Roommates see almost every aspect of each others lives as well. I disagree with you that Love has to be something built over years and years of association. I agree with you in the fact that it is not as deeply rooted as two people who have known each other for years, but that is not to say that it is not love. It is the sprout of love which is love all the same. This is no longer flirting. If you are open to the energies of people around you I do not think it is that hard to fall in love. You seem callous and that you are trying to personify your life and experiences into mine. Everyones emotions are different and everyone experiences them differently. I don't know how your previous experience you had actually went, but I highly doubt that it was tooth and nail the same as mine. I also don't think scaring her is really something that is in the cards now. Like I said I have waited to see if this is actually something real and mutual or not for quite some time now and I have been patient. I wasn't immediately sexually attracted to her either. That is something that developed as I grew to love her personality more and more. This is something I have never experienced before. It has always been "Woah shes beautiful I want to know her and bang her right now". I do attribute that to abstaining from PMO. And honestly I think the opposite is true about Nofappers. We are porn addicts like every other man on the goddamn planet, but we are starting to listen to our energies more than those who keep on fapping. I thank you for the counter perspective but I do not think you can judge an experience you are not part of. I honestly have never been fond of this perspective coming from hardened individuals that have experienced humiliation in their past and who think love is some huge megalith of a tower to be built over years and years of experience. Jim Morrison was talking about love at first sight when your walking down the street. This is not a girl I saw on the street. But again thank you for the perspective.
Dude, you have a magnificent writing style I must say this... You don't need advise for sure, you understand the spiritual concept of the matter well enough.. Have you thought about writing her a letter? I write my girlfriend every three months or when needed; offering her my permanently tangible emotions and it clears our perspectives most every time. It can be a beautiful thing. (I wouldn't mention pornography to start!) Word from the Wise: YOU will need to tell her once y'all are together, when you are ready, but if you wait too long like I did, she will find out and it will not be pretty. This woman sounds very perceptive.
Thank you for this post man...I also observed this, that when I spill seed, women are not drawn to me...but when I do NoFap for weeks (3 weeks the most), I feel more confident and women like to interact with me. (I am not the most handsome guy) but confidence makes up for it.
Love is so specific and unique thing we cannot predict at all. Giving and listening to any advice is preposterous: Thanks to NOFAP you can be much more connected to REAL YOU!!! And the REAL YOU knows always what to do on your journey through life. We were given this magnificent thing as soul is - but we forget very often we have it therefore we forget to and how to use it. YOURSELF will do the work, the only thing to do is to listen to it. Nothing else from this planet can feel better than real LOVE and real LOVE comes from within from your and her real personality. I dont want to sound very hippie but just look at from different perspective. If I was in your shoes I wouldnt do any of experiment - i would do exactly what I feel deep inside of me! And you can be sure that this is the best solution for everything in your life! Good luck with your girl, love is awesome Cheers
Have you told her you love her and want to date her ? This is the only real test, and the only one that counts. When you don't O, the chemical balance in your body is different and you're more perceptive. That's probably why you notice more signs from her. You're thinking way too much , and you should better go forward and try. You'll see then what it really is about.
No I have not told her a thing. I know I am thinking way to much! Then only reason I haven't just pulled my pants up and pursued this fully is that there is a possibility of her leaving soon. This is getting more specific and I will tell you more of the tangled web of intricacies that is my love life right now. And the reason of my incessant nagging of my own emotions! But She doesn't particularly like living here in LA and she has been here for almost a year and a half now. She moved out here with an ex who abandoned her basically after arriving here. They broke up a 7 or 8 months ago. She wants to move back to her home town on the East coast. Although is very unsure and hesitant about doing so. She is in somewhat of a limbo with her decisions. The only reason I haven't gone any further is because the absolute last thing I want to do is hurt her or keep her somewhere she does not want to be just because of potential romanticism. She does often mention how she wants something with someone. She has told me a few times and her friends while I am around she wants a good ol' country boy. I am from NC. I believe that is directed towards me. But that is one of the many not so subtle signs I receive from her everyday. I know there is something I have never been so sure of a love interest in my life. But when these feelings were more premature I was still dealing with being alone after 6 years of a relationship. And kind of wanted to experience the aforementioned bachelor life that was so unfulfilling. So my mind was divided. I was deathly afraid of hurting her but now I see that would not be the case (at least as far as my full intentions go) I will love her fully and whole-heartedly I know that now. Thus, the incredible amount of thought process I have put into this. Although, I usually and over analyze everything in my life, sometimes unnecessarily so, but I think this amount of debate was warranted in my mind. This is really helping me put it on paper though, and the outside perspectives are very helpful! So thank you very kindly for your reply and listening to my story! Also I think part of my post where I wrote about experimenting with my energy. It wasn't really me "testing" our relationship. It was more so testing myself and my energy I get from abstaining from PMO. I would never use someone as a guinea pig in any of my isolated endeavors within my psyche but its just interesting feeling this energy from abstaining and having a love interest. Which has never been the case with me. I ironically started doing this just before me and my ex broke up. She never saw this side of me, it probably could have saved us. But your right the chemical balance is very different and I feel much more perceptive. Again thank you for listening to my rambling!
I agree cud. No one can understand the intricacies of your intimacy and experiences. Especially by reading a 3 paragraph post from a forum on the internet. I don't think advice is necessarily preposterous but I understand where your coming from, some of this advice I have been given from this post is definitely helping! Although I agree, only you can be connected to the real you. I believe we are all subconsciously connected and we could all be telepathic in a Utopian world. But in this day and age we are so far from the potential of our energies and the power we have in our minds and souls that telepathy probably won't be a thing in our lifetime. And maybe thats a good thing. I agree though the soul is magnificent! Thanks for the reply!
I never said not to date this lady. She sounds perfectly nice. My caution is about thinking that you are in love too soon.
I realize exactly what you said. If you read my reply you would understand that I understood the content of yours. I know you didn't say "not to date her" thats obvious. I directly referenced everything you said in your first reply and told you why I disagree. And you still do not really have a rebuttal, you are just placing cultural references into your post and saying "Its just like Seinfeld and The Doors" I am nothing like Jerry Seinfeld and my life is not a sitcom. Please if you comment again just put some more thought into so there is some actual debate. I am all for the practice of discourse but your just assuming you understand my love life and personality and are taking on a smug holier-than-thou attitude and it is slightly irritating. I am sorry if I seem hot-headed or easily angered but the ambiguity of text can create that in me. I can't understand your actual emotions through writing so I am taking it to be more negative than maybe you would like it to be portrayed. But this is sensitive for me, so if you have anything further to say just put some more thought into. Quotes from sitcoms and music are generalizations and thats what irritates me.
