It all really boils down to one thing: sexual frustration. I'm kind of on Day 26...ish. And this is great, don't get me wrong. I mean, it's the longest I've been without PMO probably since puberty (or at least P and O, as edging probably falls under the "M" category). It's more than double any streak I had accomplished last year, which is cool. Progress is always neat to see. And reading articles on this site has definitely helped. Reading the success stories when I'm experiencing urges helps. And an article on the detriments of edging has probably been the only reason I've made it this far. Which is why I'm here. I had some slight issues edging on Day 14 and 15 due to exposure to some risqué advertisements (damn you, media...). And when I say "slight," I mean that I didn't really stimulate myself much. I simply couldn't keep my hand out of my pants. Which is becoming more and more of an issue. But I digress... So I've been having dreams about watching P or MOing. Upon waking, I feel like I'm not getting as hard anymore. I'm sure this is what is meant by the "flatline"...and I didn't originally think I would have a problem with it when I read about it. However, last night I edged to see if my assessment was true, and I realized without a doubt that it was. And this is depressing, for whatever reason. I'm going to delete my counter--I think it's getting in my head. I know I shouldn't be so concerned about my sexuality and should be focusing on living a meaningful life, or at least making the most of the things I do have. And I keep on repeating the phrase, "You can please a woman in ways other than sex" to myself. But it still feels like I've lost a piece of myself. I'm probably just lonely. Or I was more addicted to PMO than I had originally thought. I know this is all my brain pleading with me to resort back to past behaviors. To at least look at "nice" P, where the goal is stimulating and pleasing the woman rather than the man. That's not as bad as other P, right? Damn it, brain. Stop it. My brain is to the point where it doesn't even crave the O anymore. It's just craving sexual stimulation of any sort. And it's hard to get past. I'm having a hard time focusing. It's just extremely frustrating. Any suggestions?
I feel quite similar, I'm on Day 14 and have been in a serious flatline since before I even started. What I'm just reminding myself of is that I just need to give this 90 days, 3 months, time flies. Staying occupied. Once I reach that 90 days, if I don't see any real improvement I will explore other options and seek help elsewhere. Until than, avoiding any artificial stimulation at all costs.
We are sexual beings and temptation and sexual urges are always going to be there. I think it's about accepting that and channelling the energy and using it your advantage.
Guys.......feel like shit! I have dreams every night but without bones (i think) and no O. I want to MO but i stop my urges with exercising. But i'm angry. i fell angry ALL THE TIME
This is probably true. But the avoiding the artificial stimulation is pretty difficult. I need to work harder on keeping my hands above the waistline. Seems pretty subconscious, though. I'm starting to become aware of it, and that's half the battle. Just need to fight the other half of it. See it through, y'know? Thanks for the reply!
I'm not that great at channelling the energy yet. It seems to fixate on the sexual thoughts. I'm having a hard time pulling the energy away from those thoughts and pouring them into something more productive. I have a better time distracting myself when it is a physical task, but when it is a less active task like reading, I have an extremely hard time focusing. It sucks. A lot.
Haha. Yes. I feel a lot more aggressive. But I was more so at the beginning of this journey. Now it just seems to be fading to....emptiness. Or insanity. One of the two.
I feel for you, Brother. You are losing a part of you. A sick, trembling, weak, cancerous part of you. Your old self is trying to cling on for dear life and keep the relationship going. Your brain is not used to the new you and is exhausting by seeing and feeling real things for the first time. Keep going and follow the wise who have been in your shoes. There are ups and downs that are quite noticeable for the first 40 days. Eventually we even out and can take on more varied and challenging things life has to offer. I support you and I am here for you. Gravelord SolidStance, In honor of Operation Fallen Soul
You need to feel like shit at some point to get out of the addiction, classical withdrawal issues. Learn to embrace your withdrawals. If the start now already they could even "end" before day 90. OK, this is all easily said, but to be actually helpful , I would recommend to take more breaks, sleep more, and meditate in that time. I felt like my body needed it at that stage. The idea is basically to be doing something you consider productive and if you feel like you can't do it, do nothing (don't distract yourself but actually nothing) or take some other kind of break. Your brain will get bored and it will be easier to do something productive.
HitB, I'm right there with you. Sexually frustrated!!! I have a great wife who's pretty good looking and can't do anything about it. It's like having your favorite candy and them simpling saying "nope". I have had to find other means of being intimate with her. Conversation, quality time, simple cuddles (which doesn't help my journey at all). I do find that vigorous exercise helps past the triggers. Well that and prayer. It's like we are detoxing our old flesh. I just wished I were more patient.
@CptCane, That's in some ways the best thing. Being in a relationship, especially marriage, is about far far more than sex. Taking the time to appreciate all the little things will help your relationship grow positively and blossom.
Good words. Thank you. I will try meditation. I feel like it's a relatively simple concept, and I tend to overthink things. I just sit and concentrate on my breath, yeah?
Haha. Patience. Not my strong suit. But I'm learning right along there with you. It's good that you've found new, constructive ways to enjoy your wife! That's awesome, man!!! And I'm sure she appreciates it But yeah...the frustration is soul-crushing.
Force a smile on your face. It actually improves mood. Try it. Seriously. It's called the Facial Feedback Hypothesis. At the same time, have a collection of funny movie scenes, or video to bring to mind. Use "Auto suggestion" to plant positive seeds. Try the Lovingkindness meditation. It has been shown to increase happiness. You need to learn to train yourself to feel positive emotions. Negative emotions really make urges and and relapse more likely. Use mindfulness meditation to learn to watch your emotions. Anger, envy, worry can all be stopped when you get good at catching your emotions and have a few tricks to switch to more positive ones. Good luck.
Oh, sometimes I feel like I'm in Jedi training. "Do or do not, there is no try." Humor is fantastic medicine.
YOU ARE not on this fight alone. Many of us got our back against the ropes, but we insisted fighting back. Discipline is here to help us. The addict in me needs to be held by some way. I'll keep improving the way I live, eat well, excersise a lot, tell and chill with the people I really love, keep my mind out of this sexualised society, spend time with nature. Make effort to change brother, stop caring about what you have right now or in one week. Focus on becoming the best you can be long-term speaking. We are the finest warrior around this web, we deserve a fulfilling life Gravelord Lucid, In honor of Operation Fallen Soul
@HitB You can see all the benefits that you can get by quitting porn. Enjoy it! You are improving yourself!You are letting go that part of you that made you feel small, weak and disgusting. These are in the past now.You left them during the path. You are getting bigger, stronger! Sometimes you have to lose something, to get something greater! You can do this! PauloHenrique, Peasant In honor of Operation Fallen Soul
Thank you for the inspiration. It is hard to focus on the long-term at times, but it is definitely important to do so. I know that PMO is not the answer. It's just really annoying, I guess. But I'm complaining. And I shouldn't. We all struggle with the frustration. "Biting the bullet" and whatnot. Sometimes I just cave and have to vent my frustrations. Thanks for the encouragement!
