Intro- looking for change after 28 years of PMO

Hello everyone, 39 gay, married male here who is a newbie to the site. I was about 11 years old when I was first introduced to porn mags/movies by an older neighborhood boy. I had never felt such arousal in my life and in my head I can still envision those scenes. It was also at that time that I stumbled upon my father's Playboys and before I knew it was masterbating to porn on a regular basis. As I began to become more aware of my sexuality I began to seek out gay porn more frequently and since that wasn't easy back then, it excited me even more when I was able to find it.

As I've gotten older and the Internet provided easier access, I've found myself spending more and more time on it looking at porn for hours on end. Some days I'll spend 4 to 5 hours and by the time it's over I feel drained and depressed. The worst part for me is getting in the chat rooms. This has unfortunately led me to infidelity in past relationships. I was recently married and even though I've continued my porn habits, I've not been unfaithful (other than chat rooms encounters) with my spouse. What worries me is that I feel the more I keep up this PMO habit on my own the more I may be tempted to be unfaithful as I have been in the past.

After growing more and more concerned about this and becoming tired of wasting so much time masterbating I began to do a little research. This led me to find this sitewhich which has provided me some very valuable information about the benefits of nofap and how dopamine is playing its role in my behavior. I realize now that I do have at least a mild or moderate porn addiction and want to see what life is like without it.

Ultimately I would love to completely end porn watching, masterbating as well as having any orgasms outside of sex with my partner. I'm still trying to figure out the best way to go, I'm thinking I may do a hard reboot to start for 30 days and then go from there. I need to discuss this with my better half, but I have no doubt he will be understanding after I explain what I've learned about how unhealthy my PMO habits are and how I need break my addiction. I hate being a slave to my penis and my mind's sexual urges and am ready for a change. I'm looking forward to this new journey as well as the support that I've seen on the I site.

 

For me I'm a little different in that I'm able to perform with my SO, but usually I'm just not too into it and my O is usually way less pleasurable than when I PMO myself. I imagine a lot of that has to do with me wasting so much of my sexual energy on PMO. I want my most pleasurable moments to be with my SO and not wasting it on porn and MO. I'm hoping a reboot will help me reset things as well.