Starting all over again...

It's been a while since the last time I took a look at NoFap and it's due to a bunch of things. At first, I had no wireless internet connection at home for about a month nearly. Work is as well consuming all of my energy, and my days off ain't no days off at all actually; I have been busy, had to go a thousand times to the bank, had to go get some documents where I graduated from, bla bla bla. And, I can now see it, the main reason was that I relapsed. And I was ashamed of myself.

Three days and three relapses have made me write this topic tonight. I have a new commitment that I have to achieve, no matter what. I can't stand this addiction no more. I gained the world —regarding confidence, self esteem, courage. LIFE— from abstaining for forty one days on my very first streak, therefore why wouldn't I be able to accomplish this new commitment?

I wrote a letter this evening. I wrote down all the hatred and frustration I could have had accumulated towards the PMO addiction for all these years. I said farewell, I said I won't miss you, I said don't ever dare to come back. And I'll stand tall upon these words. Then I set the letter on fire. (So Hollywood style tho)

Not one
step
backwards.

It's been 21 hours, and I feel my soul burning in desire to beat the shit out of this habit.

 

I have no words to describe how supportive and encouraging people are in this community. I feel like I owe you something. It just doesn't feel OK to say thanks. But that's what I can do for you all from here. Write me if you need something or you're just down for a good talk.

"Success is not measured by winning, its measured by how we react to defeat."

This sentence just made my day.

That's all from this side of Earth, I'll go back to work.
Yours, Luis.

 

Hahahahaha. I might stay thankful for now.

 

Day 3 was awesome. I enjoyed my workday and had a McCoffee like a sir when I got out lmao.

I just took a cold ass shower that killed my stress and tiredness. I might plan to do it every night. I'm not that brave enough yet to do it at 6 am bruh.
Also, I'll add a new challenge to this new journey, watch out: I'M GROWING A BEARD!! I have always had facial hair since I was a teenager, but never nothing too fancy. Nevertheless, I've never been completely shaved for more than 2 days, I really love having facial hair. But this time I'll take it a higher level, just like my NoFap journey. I'll grow a full beard, a really good and thick taken cared of beard. I'm buying coconut oil tomorrow, so I can keep it hydrated and clean.
By the end of this ninety days, I should have less of this stubble and more of a bushy, thick and healthy soft beard on my face.

As far as today concerns, this is it. Have a nice day/night fellows!

Yours, Luis.

 

That's just what I'm aiming for!! Thanks for the support.

 

How old are you?

 

Hi fellows! Good morning(or whatever time of the day you're reading this).

I've had a date last night, met a women a few days ago and I wanted to know her, so I dated her. The thing went as astonishing as it was possible. Looking forward to go out with her any time soon.
Also, I attended two ballet shows here in my town theatre on Friday and Sunday. Not that I like it, a friend of mine dances there and sent me invitations. It wasn't the first time I watch her dancing, so I dressed up and went there. It was amazing.

No urges at the moment. In fact, these days the only time I think of PMO is when I visit NoFap's forums. Don't get me wrong, not in a bad way.

That would be it for today. Stay clean.
Yours, Luis.

 

Relapsed. Staying home alone is not an option anymore, I'll go out even if I have nothing to do. Fuck this shit.

 

How is it going on! Almost eight days since my last relapse. I'm getting documented even more about the addiction, I want to keep gathering facts that help me get through it.
Last night I almost had a relapse, but I forced myself to stop right away.

I just saw this video from Mark explaining that, the addiction is like a wound, and it'll progressively heal as long as we don't touch it, hit it or even itch it(i.e. edging, or relapsing). That rationalization of "physically" hurting myself I'm pretty sure will push me through way more than it did before.

Beard challenge is going pretty awesome as well, it's been fourteen days so far. There have been times when I feel really tempted to shave off the mustache, since I've never ever before had it. I'd usually shave it; but I have resisted the temptations.

That's it for now.
Take care and Merry Christmas NoFappers!

Always yours, Luis.

 

Sup fellows.

I've been having some trouble managing urges late in the night. I got to enter a porn page, clicked a video and then shut it all off.
I recognise this strength in myself right after I read the e-book Brain hacks for quitting porn NoFap sent me days ago, this matter about the automatic and calculated thinking is for real. I still have to improve it way more.

Also, I started to suffer a kind insomnia two days ago. What I mean by kind is that the very first time I had insomnia due to NoFap abstinence it was fucking hardcore mode, I wouldn't catch a sleep in 2-3 hours at all, waking up randomly in the middle of the night, and so on.

That'd be it for now, take care and stay strong fellas.

Luis.

P.S. thank you so much NoFap staff team for constantly sending information and tips through gmail for all of us who can't afford the NoFap academy for any reason. I'm really thankful.

 

I'm feeling great, I'm feeling healthier again like on my first strike, I'm starting to not feel atracted to porn, my calculated thinking is gaining strength rapidly and efficiently.
What a way to begin the new year than being clean huh!

That's good! You're doing the best thing you will ever do for yourself!! Talk to me anytime you need.

Hell yeah!

 

20 days in already! Just checking in, I'm not lost, I've been there reading you guys.

 

What's up fellows, a week just have gone by huh.
I didn't tell ya but my contract at work just ended on 31/12, and signed up asap in a Bartending Academy, that's what I really want to do now, it'll also help me abroad, when I leave this country (planning to do it somewhere in October). The course is a month long, twice a week, and it's starting next Thursday.
Wish me good luck!

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you about my beard and... IT'S BEEN A MONTH ALREADY!!! It is looking nice and thick beneath the jaw, though I'm still trying my best to grow a thicker appearance on the cheeks. I got it slightly trimmed today along with my monthly haircut, just the tips, in order to not look creepy on Thursday lmao, don't worry about it. Still taking some pictures daily, I may upload a video when I reach the 90 days mark.

Bye!

 

I just passed by and ironicly tonight is day 41. It means I made it through my last (and first) longest streak. I can't believe it I've made it through once again. Looking forward to keep fighting, a life-time still ahead to go!