I can't do this. I've relapsed three times in the last week. Help, please

I know the feeling, I've been there. Right now I'm on the brink of losing everything important in my life and that's giving me the strength to resist. When your about to use try and think of the consequences, install K9 to give yourself the little bit of time it take to deactivate it to think about what you're doing. Quiting isn't impossible it's just very very hard, don't give up!

 

The key is to not give up giving it up. You might fail again, but you've just got to keep trying until you crack it. I'm in a similar boat, slip after slip, but I will persist until I find my stride again and reach 90 days.

 

the more i relapsed , i feel my will power has weaken !

 

You're in a bad place right now, and you have the power to change it little by little. First you should take all the recommended steps in the right direction. Here's my recommendation. You don't have to do them all at once, but tackle one at a time. The most important thing you can do (if you do none of these) is change your attitude into a positive one. Positive language and positive thoughts yield positive and rewarding results. If you have time, I recommend watching the free movie on youtube called, "The Secret". You might think it's stupid, but I have found that it's very rewarding.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltGstp5GaFc

1) Install K9. Block Pornography.
2) Delete any physical porn you have. Throw it out your window. Smash it. Break it. You won't regret it. If you have any word documents with your favorite sites/viedoes or anything like that - DELETE IT.
3) Go to yourbrainonporn.com Learn everything there is to know. Knowledge is truly power. If you realize that it's your brain's addiction to dopamine that is the problem and not you, it can be empowering. Learn as much as you can from that site.
4) Write down (even on NoFap) WHY you want to quit porn. Even if it's obvious. The stronger the emotions to quit, the more strength you're giving yourself at a weak moment.
5) Think of a moment in this journey when you were really weak. It might even be at the time of starting this post. Remember what you feel like and how much negativity there is. Whenever you're feeling a moment of weakness, you can remind yourself of this weak moment to have crave the emotion
6) Read these two articles:
http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?3549-Action!-or-not!!!-Have-you-actually-Prepared-for-it

http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?2402-Get-educated-get-tools-and-learn-to-love-withdrawals

Please report back to me or on this post when you have started this list. Remember above all else to be positive as that is the most important component of this journey. Stay strong!

 

Seth's advice to start is solid! Additionally, you need to start by changing your thinking from 'I can't' to 'I WILL stop'. You also need to cultivate NEW activities and habits - which is where step 4 onward help. In the words of the philosopher Vince Lombardi- "Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is Losing." It's not enough to just stop your losing habits, you need to start cultivating your WINNING habits. It CAN be done. Be strong, be patient and start with the steps Seth outlines.

 

A Lombardi quote - I love it!

 

You are right- you cannot do this.... if you think of it in terms of months or years. But tomorrow is not here, nor promised. Can you succeed this hour? This minute? That is how you fight. Fight each step and you will find it easier to succeed as you gain victories.

 

I've been there and I know how bad the feeling is, but there is hope just distract yourself start organizing your closet anywhere in your house actually that always gets my mind off of it also I find watching anything that makes me laugh a lot tends to draw my mind away from thoughts of pornography or masturbation

 

Hi Nate -- good work! You've improved so much since your first post here! In my opinion, getting off the P is job number one. There are people here who want to look at porn with out fapping, and that just seems backwards, frustrating, and counterproductive to me. Masturbating once in a while to your own touch, memories, and thoughts about real people seems normal and healthy to me. For now I don't want to MO at all, just to try getting things back on track, but in the future I don't think I'll be so puritan about it. With porn, though ... gone for good, I hope.

 

Hey Nate,

Seem like you're making a lot of progress congrats

I'm also listening to a lot of Eminem at the moment, you heard of Tech N9ne? His stuff's sweet

 

You thanked gettingreal for "good advice". Nevertheless, I would like to give an alternative answer to your question. From what I have experienced masturbation and porn are two sides of the same coin and should be tackled together. So, masturbating to relieve pressure will set you back and delay your recovery. It is because both activities overload your dopamine reward response in your brain. That is why edging is even worse than just masturbating so you cum. If you can find a way of coping with sexual frustration and pressure you will feel a huge benefit. By the second week you may well flat line - have little sexual desire. Don't worry this is only temporary, a few days later it will switch back the other way. Things remain chaotic like that until you finally re-boot. I hope what I said makes sense. The science behind it is available on http://yourbrainonporn.com

 

You ask an infamous question whether you're "allowed" to MO without P. Some people do, some don't. There are benefits to quitting completely, but if you're not up to that, definitely continue with the MO. Do keep it in moderation, and if you find you're MO'ing excessively, then rethink that it may be time to quit that as well.

Regardless you've made a strong start. Good luck!

 

Yeah love that one! You got this man, keep it up!