26 year old male trying the second time to stop PMO

And here it is. The next step in the journey I guess.

But let me introduce myself. I am a 26 year old male from the Netherlands and trying to finish my master degree in Chemical Engineering. I am a Christian and... yup, even those hypocrites can be addicted to porn. At least that is the only way I can view my behaviour in all honesty.

But lets make this not a to long of a post back to the part of second time trying to stop. The first time I tried to stop (apparantly it is called rebooting ) is a little over a year ago. I concluded that my addiction developed from curiosity in puberty (exact age not sure) should stop and started a course on settingcaptivesfree. As the background of the site was also religious the course I followed focussed on my beliefs and religion. At that moment I was struggling in that department and my failures to stay clean (hard mode) made me feel very down.
The course appointed also an accountability partner and on his advise I tried to cut out entirely my internet and computer related hobby's which I guess also did not that much good as I didn't know what to do in my spare time. There are many hobbies to pick up but for me most are related to computer stuff (Photography and editing, fiddling around with coding, listening/making music etc.).
So after I guess a month of struggling I stopped and fully relapsed, however I was starting to see a therapist for both PMO and other personal issues. And after some work we wanted to start battling the P addiction again so here I am.

Excitedly terrified. (stealing a title of an earlier thread).

Main challenges:

• Keep away from triggers/P. I have tried filters/software but in the end with my knowledge of computers I always have a way to get around. Physical disconnecting internet again is maybe the best option, but on that part I am hesitant because I also need it for my study. Heck even official documents from government are not send on paper any more, but must be read at some website.
• Staying honest to myself.
• Staying honest to the people I have earlier told it and are sort of APs.
  
• Deal with emotions which I suppress with (P)MO (here is the therapist part relevant)

Feel free to leave questions, supportive comments, admonitory comments.

 

@LakeMichigan
Thanks for your response.
What makes matters difficult for me is that I have to motivate myself to keep to a schedule because I have not that much courses at the moment and (a bit to) much free time. This morning I had a session with my therapist and we have looked a bit into how I deal with friendships and how easy (or actually how hard) it is for me to ask a friend for help or just ask for some time to talk to them. So my new 'homework' is to experimenting with being more bold in 'claiming' some attention.
If you have something you would recommend on the subject of "urge surfing" let me know. Later this weekend I will ask google for some recommendations

@PourAnother
To answer your question: sort of both. It has been interfering with my personal life and performance in the study. And probably a source of some social anxiety when the addiction was real bad. And I see it as a personal improvement when I am able to live a life closer to the religious morals and norms I believe in.
So if the aim of your question was: are you doing this just because you feel you must do it for you faith or because religion says so? Then the answer is no.
Not just because I feel I should do it, but also I feel I could more mature as a person when I can leave this addiction behind and deal with my issues/emotions in a more appropriate manner.

 

@LakeMichigan
Thanks for the link. Yesterday I already quickly scanned the article. The idea of trying to become an observer of the urges (flow by) instead of directly fighting them is kind of an interesting one. I always felt that creating barriers like (software)filters etc. are just tools to help you but in the end only yourself have to deal with the urges. Strangely enough for the past 4 days I haven't yet had a strong urge *fingers crossed*(or more appropriately for me I *prayer hands* ). I hope to report back if the mindfulness helps in the urge surfing department!

@Saturdaze
Thanks for your words. At the moment I am quite honestly amazed by the amount of supporting comments all over this forum and in my inbox from both Christians and (not explicitly stated) non-believers.
As for my relation to God, I know He sees me for who I truly am. And luckily we have a honest Bible as His words telling e.g. the tale of David (of all people) caving for the sexual desires. Even though his deeds did not go unpunished, God did not give up on him. The past days parts of 1 John 1 are keeping my mind occupied. They might also be of help for you so here they are:

He encourages us to stay in the light, show our dirty hands and deeds and confess them. Encourages us to not crawl back to our dark places where we allow ourself to give in to our urges and easy fixes for emotions we have to deal with. And He promises us that He will forgive us when we keep fighting, keep confessing our failures and weaknesses when they might come.